AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Hours passed as I discovered my best friend all over again. I’d thought I’d known her back then, I’d thought she’d been an open book.
But I guess I hadn’t been an open book, so why should I have expected the same from her?
One thing was for sure. I hadn’t deserved her. The kind of friend she was, how much she’d cared about me—there wasn’t another person on the planet who had ever felt that way about me. Tears were caught in the back of my throat the entire time I read.
I could feel Stellan’s gaze on me from time to time, but I didn’t acknowledge him. This moment felt too intimate to share with him. It felt like a moment just between Sophia and me.
I’d started to think we weren’t going to find anything when I picked up a journal and immediately realized the dates in the entries were of the last two weeks before the Demon had moved us away and Sophia had been taken.
Stellan kissed her last night. They’d been arguing about something and then, all of a sudden, he pulled her into his arms and he did what I’ve dreamed about doing almost every second since I’ve met her.
It was a strange thing, how you could want to die, but also be so happy for someone. She tries not to talk about it, she tries to pretend like he’s just another boy, but I know she’s crazy about him. And my brother, he’s the best person I know. So while I was crying watching him get what I wanted so badly, I was also happy for her.
Because that’s all I want, is for her to be happy. And I guess at least if they ended up together, it would ensure that I had her in my life forever. And that’s better than nothing, right? The chance to have your soulmate around for good.
I’m going to try and be supportive of her…of them.
But I don’t think I can hold my secret in forever.
I just want to be able to tell her I love her. Just once. Even if I never can again.
Even if it breaks my heart.
I dropped the book and then my face was in my hands, giant sobs wracking through my body.
“Hey, Aurora. Baby. What did you find?” Stellan asked anxiously, his hand rubbing against my back soothingly.
“I didn’t deserve her,” I sniffed. “She was perfect.”
There was a long pause.
“I think she thought you were perfect too,” he said.
I hated how we talked about her in the past tense now. As if we had come to the conclusion for good that she was really gone, that when we did find her at the end of this search, it was going to be for a goodbye. Instead of a hello.
What he’d said struck me then.
“You knew she was in love with me,” I whispered, meeting his gaze. His guilty-looking gaze.
He bit his lip and looked away from me. “Not then I didn’t.” Stellan sighed. “To be honest, though, I don’t know if I could have stayed away from you even if I had known.” He moved his hand away from me and picked at some lint on the carpet.
“When did you find out?”
“That journal you found in my room. Trust me, reading my sister’s sexual fantasies about the girl I’ve fucked wasn’t my idea of a good time.”
It was stupid. But something burned inside of me at him calling me “the girl he’d fucked.” I’d given the asshole my virginity. The least he could do was call me the love of his life or something.
I was fully aware I sounded like a psycho. Especially because I hated Stellan.
At least at the moment.
“You’re mad,” he announced, a small smirk on his lips. Mind you, there were still tears falling down my cheeks, so I wasn’t in the mood to be fucked with.
“Stellan, if you don’t shut up, I’m going to stab you in the dick,” I told him seriously, picking up the journal again to keep reading.
His smirk fell and he stared at me, openmouthed.
I lifted an eyebrow, daring him to say something. He shifted, casually covering his nuts just in case I followed through with my threat.
