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“Except doing your thing is about having fun and sleeping with little cuties you pick up in bars. Right now, you ain’t having fun, and you’re not even picking up twinks.”
Charlie glared at Edison, who smirked at him because the man knew he was right. “You think I need to be sleeping with anything that moves?”
Ed rolled his eyes. “It’s not my place to judge who you sleep with. My point is that you’re miserable. You’re back to being the guy we knew those last days in Paris. It took you a year to climb out of that headspace.”
They paused at a street corner, waiting for the light to turn in their favor. Cars raced by and the buildings around them were ablaze with neon lights. Music and laughter poured from every business. Buenos Aires was his kind of town. Something was always happening. People were filled with a need to indulge in good food, good wine, and good company. He should be happy here.
But he was being a melancholy ass pining for someone who didn’t want him anymore.
“I’ll get over it,” Charlie muttered as he started across the street with the change of the light.
“Without even trying?”
“What are you talking about?” he snapped.
Edison groaned and threw up his arms as if Charlie was being intentionally dense about this. “Man! It’s different now. Talk to him. Tell him what we were doing in Paris. Why you couldn’t stay with him.”
“God! You and Kairo are like a pair of meddling spinster sisters. And then what? Try again? Did he give you any indication that he might consider giving me a second chance? Because from where I was standing, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t piss on me if I was on fire. And you know what? He’d be right.”
“Maybe so, but the Charlie I know wouldn’t let that stop him. The Charlie I know fights for what he wants.”
Yeah, Edison was right. Any other time, for any other reason, Charlie would be right in there fighting for what he wanted.
But everything was different when it came to Will. He’d already lost him once, hurt the man who’d been the center of his universe. If he tried and failed, it would truly be over. There would be no more shots, no more chances. And just thinking that there was zero chance of seeing Will again made his chest tighten until he couldn’t draw a breath. He’d gotten used to the idea once, but he couldn’t do it now. Not when the memory of the man was so fresh. He’d heard his voice just two days ago. They’d stood in the same room, breathed the same air.
And to not have a chance at that again…
It felt like it was going to kill him.
He and Ed didn’t talk on the ride to the house. When they got back, they found Kairo tinkering with his computer while West was stretched out on the couch, reading a novel. Shock was etched across both their faces when he and Ed strolled into the house. They’d returned earlier than anyone had expected. Charlie managed a small wave and headed up to his room for a shower to clear his head.
As he stood under the spray, adjusting the temperature, a smile formed on his lips as his mind easily conjured up Will’s voice complaining that Charlie liked the water too cold. All his precious bits were going to freeze.
To which Charlie would wrap his arms tightly around Will, his hands sliding down over his slick body while he promised to keep all of Will’s precious bits warm. Will’s laughter would echo off the tiles and fill the tiny room before it was swallowed up by their kisses.
Charlie grabbed the soap and lathered up his hands, trying to scrub away the old memories, but almost as soon as those happy ones swirled down the drain, a new one bubbled up. A rare tender one that he couldn’t help clinging to.
His hands slowed on his body and his eyes drifted shut.
Charlie was waiting in Will’s apartment when he shuffled through the door. He’d been at the hospital for thirty hours. His man was drained and pale. It was more than needing food and sleep. It was as if all the hope and joy had been sucked from his soul.
Charlie ushered his lover to the shower and carefully stripped him. After getting the temperature to exactly where Will liked it, they stepped inside. He took his time washing every inch of him, massaging away tension from muscles until Will leaned nearly all of his weight on him. His fingers drifted between the cheeks of Will’s ass, and his lover moaned against his throat. He hadn’t meant for any of his touches to be particularly sexual. He was just trying to offer comfort.
But Will turned those wide, lost eyes on him and pushed back into his hand. “Make me forget everything, Charlie. Please.”
