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I can feel my face heat, my cheeks warming as fury boils through my entire body. "Maybe? Maybe? Are you fucking kidding me, Luna? Maybe you'll see him at prom?" I rip my arm from her hold, seeing little moon crescents from her nails, blood dolloping on a few of them. "Who are you right now?"
She scowls at me, pure anger in her gray eyes. "Who am I? Who are you, Roman Hall? How could you make such a life-changing decision without talking with me about it first? Do you know what that's done to me? Do you know how I've been feeling these past couple of days?" Tears flood her eyes again, streaming down her cheeks.
My hand raises, ready to wipe the wetness, but she shakes her head, stepping back and out of my reach. "No. You don't get that right. Not now."
"Luna, I made a mistake. I'll stay. I won't go. Please, I just can't have you mad at me."
"No!" She swipes her hand through the air. "I don't want you to stay. This is your dream, Roman. You'd never forgive me. I'd never forgive myself. I just wanted you to talk to me. I just…what about us?" Her voice drops, sadness dripping from each letter like rainwater dropping from a petal. Slow. Tortured.
She's broken.
I step up to her, and this time she lets me. I grab her shaky hands, trembling with the same fear as I have. Of us losing each other. Forever.
I can't let that happen.
"Do you want me to stay?" I ask her honestly. Because I would. At the end of the day, she is the most important person in my life. If she wants me to stay here, I would in a heartbeat. Fuck the record and fuck my friends.
Her body loses its tension. "No. I want you to go. This is what you were meant to do."
"Come with me," I plead. "Please. Just come with me. That way we can still be together."
Her eyebrows furrow, her toes curling against the cement as surprise rocks her body. "What? How?"
"Just do it. Come with me. You can finish school later. Or not finish at all. Or, hell, have your mom homeschool you, for all I care. It doesn't matter to me. As long as you’re with me, right? Now and always?"
"Now and always…" She bites her lip, the skin around her teeth turning white from force. Her eyes water again, and this time I reach my hand out, landing it against her cheek to catch the tear before it can fall. "I can't," she says on a shaky breath.
"Why not?" Panic seizes me, and I grab her hands again and press my fingers into her nails, turning the light pink of her fingers a ghostly white.
"Because your dream is music. My dream is dance. I can't give that up. I have practice. I have my family. I have Julliard, Roman. You are meant to play songs for the world. I'm meant to dance for the world. Maybe our dreams lead us on different paths, after all."
I pull her close, until her leotard-covered chest brushes against my shirt. She smells of sweat. She smells of sadness. So, so much sadness. "No. One year, Luna. In one year, I'll move to New York with you. We'll get a place, and you can go to Julliard. I might have to tour, but I'll be home with you as much as I can. We'll be together. In one year, Luna. Don't give up on me."
She cries, her chest shaking against mine, vibrating down to my veins. My blood stops pumping as I stare at her. As I watch her translucent tears float down her cheeks. They hit her lips, and she licks them away. "One year, Roman. One painful year. But you have to promise you'll write to me and call me at least once a week."
I squeeze her to me. "I promise, baby. I'll promise you anything."
"One year," she murmurs against my lips.
"One year," I echo, sealing her lips to mine.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
LUNA
My bed feels soft beneath my hands as I run my fingers over the quilt. My mom made it for me last year, the different patches made from soft squared patterns. It'ssomy mom, and my mood right now makes me want to curl over and burrow my face in the fabric, letting its softness dry my tears.
My baby pink dress floats around me like a princess gown. It reminds me of my leotard, the color such a soft and feminine pink. The bottom half of my dress is a tulle, making me feel like a princess with the many layers. It poufs around my waist, and I press down on it, only for the fabric to fluff back up.
The top half of my dress is a soft pink satin that hugs my curves with its small trim. It's strapless, silky smooth and bunched on the side.
I look beautiful, even though I feel anything but. My heart is breaking. I can feel the small crack starting at the top, slowly shredding down the rest of my heart. It hurts to breathe. It hurts to be awake. It hurts to talk. Everything aches, a sharp pain that burrows deeply within my soul. I don’t want tonight to happen, because that means this will be it. It’ll be over.
Tonight, is the last night I'll spend with Roman for an entire year. Yeah, I might have a holiday here and there where he’ll be in town, but overall, tonight is the last time until he’ll be mine, only mine, for an entire year. Being away for him for an extended time is something I don’t even know how to handle. I haven’t been away from him for more than a day, maybe two, since I met him. The thought of not seeing his face, touching his skin, hurts. It hurts so fucking bad.
This last week has been filled with him getting ready for his tour. What I thought would be days of us talking and touching and spending every moment together that we possibly could has turned into a week of him making phone calls, packing, coordinating with his band, and being overall—busy.
I'm feeling alone.
