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Fuck.
The last thing I need is my mom to be coming around again. This might be her home, but there’s no way in hell I’m living with her again. And I’m certainly not bringing Wesley around her. Not now. Not ever.
Fuck.
* * *
"Good news."Dr. Peterson says as he walks in with a smile on his face.
As usual, we followed up at the doctor after Jackson's physical therapy appointment. Physical therapy was much of the same. Jackson's upper body strength is continuously strengthening, whereas his bottom half is showing no improvements. Jackson is getting irritated more and more each appointment we go to. They want to keep trying. Keep trying, keep going. They constantly insist this, but when Jackson leaves sweaty, irritated, and defeated, I'm the one that has to deal with his anger.
Once we come to the doctor's office, Dr. Peterson checks Jackson over and every so often runs a few tests. Today was one of those days, which always means our appointment is longer than usual. We've been sitting in here since Jackson got back from his tests about thirty minutes ago, waiting in silence.
Dr. Peterson sits down at the computer and signs in. Turning the monitor, he shows us what looks like a kid coloring picture to me, with the erratic lines going up and down across the page.
"What is it?" I ask, trying to decipher the medical report in front of me.
Dr. Peterson looks at us, his white glasses balanced at the end of his nose as he looks at us over the top of them. His white doctor's coat has a pin on the pocket that says #1 Dad! that I stare at instead of his gaze. I'm too nervous. My stomach flips in anticipation.
Just get on with it.
"Jackson, I have to tell you, buddy, it looks like all the work you've been doing might be paying off." He says as he adjusts the front of his jacket.
"Why do you say that?" He asks, his eyes bouncing from the screen back to Dr. Peterson.
"This right here," He points to a line that shoots up, "your nerves are finally responding. Did you feel anything during your tests today? Have you had any symptoms that are out of the ordinary?"
I glance over at Jackson and see his face flatten. "Nothing. No spasms like the last time."
"That's okay. That doesn't mean anything. Sometimes if you have spasms, they're just reactions to the spinal cord injury. People who have spasms still never walk again in their lifetime. The fact that you started healing with yours is great. So, don't be deterred if you do or don't have any. This test result is very reassuring though, Jackson. Very reassuring."
"Does that mean I'll start getting my sensations back?"
Dr. Peterson falters a bit. "Well, we'll just have to see. Keep doing what you're doing. If you're having improvements, that's always a good sign."
Jackson quiets after that, closing the door and shutting himself down. I know he wants a definite answer on his recovery, but that's just not how the medical field works.
We make a follow up appointment and make our way back home. Pulling up outside, I see Easton looking at me from my front window.
"Fuck, I totally forgot about my mom." I sigh. I hop out of the truck and look around. I don't see her lingering around anywhere. Hopefully she got the hint and headed home.
Who am I kidding? I know her. She's going to be back here next week like she said.
I unload Jackson's chair from the back of the truck. Going up to him, I say, "We need to talk about my mom. We need to come up with a plan in case she does come back."
Jackson nods, his lingering irritation fading when he thinks about my mom, or worse, my mom and Jed, coming back here. "Let's go talk to E."
When we head inside, I can instantly hear Wesley cooing and giggling. A smile instantly lifts my lips as I see Rose hunched over him on the floor playing peek-a-boo.
Wesley lets out a belly laugh, and my heart cracks open, filling with his laughter and innocence. I get so stressed out about the things I can't change.
Jackson.
My mom.
When I have the most precious gift in front of me. How could I have ever thought to give him up? He is literally the best thing in my entire world. How someone like my mom could raise me with such detached parental affection makes me wonder if there's something wrong more than just her being a piece of shit.
"Was she here?" Jackson says as he comes into the house. When he hears Wesley laugh, his lip quirks up and he opens his arms for him.
