AllFreeNovel
Share Us
The glass in my hands flies across the room and explodes into thick, heavy shards before dropping to the floor in a pile of dust.
“What the fuck?” Pascal shouts.
I look down at my hand, and realize it was me who threw it across the room and against the wall. “I…I…” I push away from the bar top and slide off the stool, my bare feet slapping across the floor as I rush back to the solitude of my room.
No, Aziel’s room.
I ignore the calls for me to stop. To wait a second. I ignore it all, bursting back into Aziel’s room and sliding under the familiar covers, pulling them to my neck and burrowing back into the darkness.
* * *
Hours later,I wake up to pitch darkness. My headache is gone, but the weariness is not. My body screams exhaustion and to close my eyes again. Sink back into the nothingness and wait for this feeling to disappear.
My head falls to the side, and I see my perfect Lilah. Sleeping on her side, her tiny hands folded beneath her cheek. Her tiny bow shaped lips bunched up in a pucker.
“She’s worried about you, you know.” Comes a voice from the far end of the room.
I startle, flipping over and slapping a hand to my mouth the muffle the squeak the breaks free.
Violet sits in the corner of my room, legs crossed as she aimlessly scrolls through her phone.
“What are you doing here?” I whisper.
“Worried about you. About both of you.” The light from her phones makes her face glow, and it creeps me out so much that I lean over and switch the lamp on.
“I’m fine.” I slide up in bed, pressing my back against the wall. Lilah shifts, but otherwise doesn’t make a sound.
She pockets her phone, looking at me for the first time. She looks a wreck herself. Her hair is pulled into a half bun, but chunks of hair have fallen out. Her clothes are wrinkled and worn, and her eyes are swollen and red-rimmed.
“You don’t look too hot yourself, Violet.” I hedge, concerned. “I hope Lilah wasn’t too much for you. I’m sorry I’ve been so out of it.”
She shakes her head, turning to gaze out the window. “It’s not Lilah. She was fine. Perfect, really. I’m just…” She sniffles, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. “Aziel was like my brother. A pain in the ass sometimes, but kind of the glue to this whole club. I’m going to miss him.”
Tears flood my eyes, and I press the heel of my palms against my eyelids to stop the pain. My entire body feels swollen and drained from all the crying; I don’t think I have much more in me.
“It was terrible, Violet.” I sigh.
We sit there for a while, sniffling and thinking of memories. At least I am. Him rescuing me. Bringing me to his home. Accepting me and my flaws. Being exactly what Lilah needed.
And now he’s gone.
“You won’t leave here, will you?” I look over at Violet, confused at her question.
“What do you mean?”
“You’ll stay? Let this be your home?” Her voice pleads. She wants me to stay, that much is clear. But can I? Can I stay here and feel at home? Feel comfortable with all of Aziel’s family and friends, but no Aziel?
“I don’t know…” I run a hand down my face in exhaustion. I don’t know how many hours or days I’ve slept, but it doesn’t feel like nearly enough. My bones weep for rest.
She rolls to her knees and crawls over to me. Grabbing onto my hand, she pleads, “Please, Ivy, don’t leave. This is the first time I’ve had a friend, like a girlfriend, or a sister, someone I like and can actually get along with. Can you please just think about it? Don’t leave. Stick around at least for a little while, please?”
I look into her tear-filled eyes and feel such loss. Loss because I want to stay but I don’t know if it’s what I’m meant to do. But where else would I go? It’s not like there’s anything out there for me, anyway. But maybe this is what I need. A complete fresh start.
“I’ll stay. At least for a little while.”
Her head falls forward onto our linked hands. “Thank you.” She sniffles, wiping away her tears. “Ugh, I’m such a pussy.” She scooches back so her back is once again up against the wall.
Another silence ensues. I’m about to start dozing off again when Violet speaks up. “You know, today is a big day.”
