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“There was a lot I wanted to tell him, but didn’t have the nerve, so I kept it all to myself. And when we were parting ways, I might have given him the cold shoulder.”
“That doesn’t sound like you. You never have a problem saying what’s on your mind.”
“I did this time,” I admitted.
“Why?” he asked.
“Because…I was afraid that my feelings might not be reciprocated” There. I said it. Kevin now knows that I care deeply about Mikal.
“How are you ever going to know if you don’t tell him? I mean, are you waiting for him to say it first? Because I know I didn’t tell Kimberly first. She told me.”
“And…I told your father too. But I knew that your father loved me.” I just don’t know if Mikal does.
“If you go with what your gut is telling you, then what do you think he feels?” Kevin asked.
“Kevin, this is so strange discussing this with you. You’re my son.”
“As long as we don’t talk about sex, I’m fine.”
I blushed hearing him even saying the word sex. “You don’t have to worry about that. It will never happen.”
“Good. Answer the question. What do you think he feels for you?” he pushed.
“I think he feels the same way. I guess I was just afraid to…”
“To let go and be happy again?” he asked, and I nodded. “That is not honoring dad’s memory. Living is.”
“Thank you, Kevin. You don’t know how much this means to me that you understand,” I said, a single tear rolled down my cheek.
He leaned over and hugged me. “Mom, all I ever want is for you to be happy.”
I wiped the tear away and said, “Funny, that’s the same thing I want for you.”
Kevin released his hold on me and said, “Now, let’s talk about the babies. I’ve been approved a leave of absence for the first eight weeks. Kimberly’s parents will come and stay with her for a month and then her older sister will do the same. That covers the first four months of their lives. I know you’re still working and offered to come spend the entire summer with us next year. I need to come up with a plan to cover the other two months. Kimberly said she can manage, but I’d like it if someone was at least here if she needs help.”
It was something I had been battling with since I heard about the babies. I could retire and offer to come stay with them, but I knew that wasn’t the answer. “I do have some vacation time banked. I can’t stay for two months during the school year, but I know I can give you two weeks.” I felt horrible not being able to do more.
“That’s awesome. Some of the other wives on the base said they’d come by and check on them as well. You don’t know how much this means to me, Mom.”
“As you’re about to find out, you’ll do anything for your children.”
He smiled. “Then I have one more request.”
“What is it?” I asked, hoping I could fulfill it.
“Go home. Wait, that doesn’t sound right. I mean, I love you and I am glad you came here to see us, to help set up the babies’ room. But I would really like you to go home and have that conversation with Mikal. I’m afraid that if you don’t, you might regret it. I don’t want to feel as though you missed out on love because you were worried about me,” he said.
“Kevin, are you sure?”
He nodded. “The best thing you can do for your grandchildren is to be happy. Please, Mom. Go find your happiness. I’ve already found mine.”
“Yes you have. Kevin, I am so proud of you. Of the man you’ve become. Your father would be too.”
“Thanks, Mom. I’m one of the fortunate ones. I had two parents who were good role models. You guys taught me what is really important in life. I hope to pass that down onto my children too.”
“You will. And you couldn’t have chosen a more perfect wife to partner with in order to do that,” I said honestly.
Kevin chuckled. “She chose me. I was so thick headed back then that I almost missed out on the most amazing woman. Good thing she asked me out and chased me until I stopped long enough to open my eyes to what was right in front of me.” He sighed and added, “I think I got that from Dad. He told me that you did the chasing back then too.”
