AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Actually, now she’s…my daughter. I officially adopted her,” Krista said. He saw the joy in her eyes as she spoke the words.
“Congratulations. That little girl has no idea how lucky she is. But she will someday.”
“Lucky? I’m the lucky one. She’s…precious.”
“I won’t ever forget the moment you handed her over to me, all wrapped up in my shirt. I’ve never held a baby before. It was scary as hell, but I’ll never forget it.” Even though she wasn’t his, the moment was etched in his mind.
“That moment in time seemed to have changed both of our lives,” she said.
“I’m not one who believes in fate, but something brought us together that day. All of us. Not just me and you, but Miss Twanda too.”
“I know. And she sensed it too. Like the universe wasn’t going to let us go until we did what we were meant to do,” Krista said.
“I don’t think that it is finished,” he said.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“I mean you adopted a baby. That’s a lifelong commitment. It’s never done.”
Krista let out a long exhale. “I know. And I hope I live up to Miss Twanda’s expectations.”
“I think all she would’ve wanted was for you to love and care for Nia. And I don’t know anyone who could do either better than you. You have more love in your heart than most people. Add all your compassion and understanding to that and Nia has all a child needs.”
Krista looked at him and asked again, “Connor, I appreciate your supportive words, but I still don’t know why you’re here.”
It was time. But he stayed exactly where he was on the couch, instead of moving over to be near her. Touching her, holding her, was only going to take away from the words he needed to say.
“Krista, I already told you how sorry I am for speaking to you like that earlier. But I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you when Miss Twanda died. I should’ve been.”
“It’s okay. I understand,” she said.
“No. It’s not okay. That’s not how you treat people that you love. Krista, I love you. I can’t pinpoint the moment, but it feels like I’ve always loved you. And if you think the word baby scared me, well the word love wasn’t even in my vocabulary until I met you.”
He was hoping she’d have gotten up off the couch and sat on his lap kissing him and telling him how much she loved him too. That didn’t occur. So he continued.
“I know I blew it. Majorly. But I’m hoping you can forgive me,” he said.
“I do. I did.”
She was still holding back. He’d hurt her too much and he knew it. Forgiveness was one thing, but forgetting was totally different. But walking out of that house again with how things were between them wasn’t going to happen. This is where he wanted to be.
As they sat there, he heard Nia crying. Connor knew what Krista needed. Not words. They were easily forgotten. So he got up and said, “I’ll go check on her.”
Krista flew off the couch. “You don’t know anything about babies. How do you know what she needs?”
He brought a hand to Krista face and stroked her cheek. “The same way you do. I’m going to go in there and let her know that I love her. The rest, well, I’ll learn as I go.”
Then he walked past her and to the nursery which was across from Krista’s bedroom. Once inside he leaned over the crib and gently picked her up. He could feel his insides shaking with every movement. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder.
“She likes to be rocked,” Krista said from behind him.
Connor sat in the rocking chair that was in the corner. He barely fit, but it didn’t matter. He sat there rocking Nia until she quieted down. Krista just stood there in the doorway watching. Eventually she left him alone with Nia.
There were no words that could’ve said more. Krista trusted him with Nia. It might not be everything he wanted, but it was a damn good place to start.
The words echoed throughout her. I love you. I love you. But things weren’t the same. She had a commitment already and it was to Nia. Also Connor had a lifestyle that didn’t work with her. She was a single mother by choice. She was okay with that. But if Connor was in her life, he’d be in and out all the time. She didn’t want to raise her daughter like that.
This wasn’t about if she loved Connor too. Because she did, with all her heart. It took every ounce of self-control not to run into his arms and tell him how she felt. Her heart was breaking into a million pieces all over again, and there wasn’t anything she could do. This wasn’t about what she wanted. It was about doing what was best for Nia.
