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“I may not have married, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know what love is. It is a life of its own. His hopes and dreams become yours, and yours become his. You don’t give up one for the other, but together you blend your natural gifts and help each other be the best you can be. I truly believe if you’re not a better person with a spouse, then you’re with the wrong spouse.”
The way Nikolet presented her view on love was very beautiful. It touched Ziva’s heart, and she wanted to believe she and Alex could’ve had that. But it’s too late. He’s gone.
“I guess we’ll never know.” Although she tried, her voice didn’t hide her own heartbreak.
There was a knock on the door and Nikolet got up to answer it. She said, “Sometimes you have to open a door and let love in so you can find out.”
When she opened the door, Nikolet stood back, and Ziva could see Alex standing there. He entered the room and headed right toward her. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Nikolet leave the house and close the door behind her.
You’re smooth, Nikolet. I know where your son gets his gift of words.
“I can’t believe you took off like that.”
It wasn’t the welcome Ziva had anticipated. Seeing his handsome face again warmed her heart.
He wasn’t the only one surprised either. She knew his jet was supposed to leave at sunrise. Yet he was standing in front of her, only inches away, and it was sweeter than honey. “I thought you were gone,” Ziva said breathlessly.
“You think I could leave without knowing you’re safe?”
Her heart sank. He’s still leaving. This visit is just another goodbye. In a much softer voice, she said, “I guess not. So you see I’m safe. Now you can go.”
She hadn’t meant for her voice to sound so pitiful. The last thing she wanted was for Alex to know how ripped apart she was. After all she’d experienced in her life, she was a strong woman. So why don’t I feel strong now? Why do I feel like pulling a blanket over my head and crying until the pain is gone?
“Is that what you want, Ziva? For me to walk right back out that door?” Alex looked at her so intensely she couldn’t bring herself to look away.
“I don’t know.” It was the truth. Part of her wanted him to be here with her, but she didn’t want him living the life she lived. This place is not a dream. It’s a nightmare. One I can’t wake from. Why would I want the man I love to share such a fate?
Alex reached out and touched her cheek. “Were you crying?”
A tear or two may have sprung free when she was talking to Nikolet. When I realized what I wanted and knew I couldn’t have it. “Your mother and I were talking about... Tabiq.”
“Yeah. This place would make most people cry.” He didn’t remove his hand as he continued, “Tell me what about Tabiq brought tears to your eyes, Ziva.”
That you won’t be here with me.“All the work ahead of me... us.”
“Us?” Alex asked, cocking a brow.
“Yes. Your mother and me. She’s going to help me.”
“Just the two of you?”
“Two is better than one.”
He pulled his hand from her and paced the room. “I don’t like this. There is no way I’m leaving you two when this country is so unstable. Who the hell knows what crazed maniac will step into power next?” He turned back to her and asked, “What do you think is going to happen to both of you then?”
“The risk is no different than it always has been.”
“And you think that makes me happy?” Alex barked.
“There are more important things than being happy.” As long as I’m separated from you, I don’t think I’ll ever be happy again.
“Are there more important things than your safety? If you ask me, the answer is no.”
She knew he was trying to show he cared. It was obvious, and she was being a jerk by pushing him. “I don’t have a death wish. Yet, what I’ve been doing and what I need to do next is important. You know that. Think of your mother. What she’s been through. I don’t want any other woman to face such hardships. This is not about me, or what I want, it’s about what... I have to do.” Ziva reached up, and this time she touched his cheek. “Please, Alex, try to understand. And don’t hate me for staying.”
Alex pulled her into his arms and squeezed her so tight she thought her ribs would break. “Sweet, I couldn’t hate you if I tried. Staying here scares the hell out of me because all I want is to keep you safe and make you happy. Back in Boston, I know I can do both. Here, I’m not sure.”
“Alex, no one can guarantee safety. The world is changing. Even here we see the news. Evil has taken root in the most innocent neighborhoods. All one can do is live their life, and treat others the way they want to be treated. Everything else is out of our control.”
