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Tell him the truth. Share your feelings or end up alone.There also was the chance that if she did open up to him, it could scare him away, as well.
“It didn’t feel like it. I sat at your parents’ and halfway through dinner, I felt as though I was invisible.” Even to you.
“I wish I could go back in time and change that. I know the conversation wasn’t what you might have wanted.”
“But you said nothing?” she stated, not trying to cover up the hurt.
He nodded. “My fear was if I had them stop talking business, they’d choose a topic we…I…wasn’t ready to discuss.”
“Like what?” she asked.
“How I feel about you? Where I see this going? What are my plans for the future? And then she would’ve turned her questions to you. She would’ve asked if you thought you were Heart-worthy. It would’ve felt more like an inquisition than a fucking family dinner.”
“I can see that would’ve made it uncomfortable for you.”
“For us,” he said.
Shanda shook her head. “No. I would’ve had no issue with answering.” That was so much easier to say after her talk with DeeDee, but at least now she didn’t feel unworthy. That, however, didn’t have anything to do with their relationship.
He raised a brow and said, “I wish you had. I’d have loved to hear it.”
“I’m talking about whether or not I am Heart-worthy,” she stated.
“Oh. I was hoping you’d have answered it all,” Kenneth said. “So if we were there right now, what would you have told my mother?”
“Simple. I was Heart-worthy, but the jury was still out on whether you are Morris-worthy.”
Kenneth burst out laughing. “Oh that would’ve been priceless. I bet her hair would’ve gone gray right in front of us.”
“Kenneth there are a lot of things I’m not, but I don’t take getting put down very well. Actually, I get a bit sarcastic and maybe a smidge rude.”
“Good. You shouldn’t ever let anyone make you feel less than the gem that you are,” he stated.
“But it wouldn’t have been nice.”
“Shanda, it would’ve been a hell of a lot better than what we did. I don’t know how I’m going to make it up to you?”
“I can think of one way,” she said. He shot her a wicked grin and she stopped it right there. “That’s not what I mean,” she stated firmly.
“Damn. Can that be an add-on?” he teased.
“We’ll talk about it later. Right now, I’m being serious.” Or trying to. “I was going to suggest we try it again.”
“Try what?”
“Dinner with your parents,” she said.
She loved his expression. It was between utter shock and disappointment.
“You have to be joking. After Monday, why would you want to put us…I mean you, through that again?”
“Kenneth…” She froze. The question couldn’t come out. She wanted to ask him the questions his mother would’ve. Even though she could see his freaking gorgeous face, this should be asked in person. “Sometimes you need to face your fears.”
“I thought you weren’t afraid,” he said.
She held her head up high and replied, “I meant you.”
He laughed. “You are something else Shanda.”
