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Chapter Fifteen
“Mom, I’m not sure what to do. Kenneth is…wonderful. He not only supports me with Home Blown, but he is so thoughtful about everything. I know I’m holding him back by being in Hope Valley. It’s always been my home, and part of me is afraid to leave, but not as much as I am afraid to lose Kenneth,” Shanda said.
“Sweetheart, I know you love it here. We all do. But if you think for one minute that I’d stay if it meant spending most of my nights alone, without your father, then you’re wrong. This might be the family home, but what makes the family is the people in it. If you think what is right for you is to go live in Boston, then I say follow your heart,” Paula said.
“Mom, you make is sound so simple, when it isn’t. Everything is here. My work, my family, my house.”
“Well, you can open Home Blown only a few days a week. And Kenneth had said he was going to help find a manager for the shop. That’s another excuse scratched off. Are there any more or are you willing to tell me what is really holding you back?”
Shanda couldn’t believe none of that was enough. To her, they added up to a mountain. But her mother was right. None of that was holding her here. It was a fear of letting go and not knowing what the future held. He hadn’t told her that he loved her, then again, she hadn’t said the words either. His actions seemed to reflect those feelings, but what if she was wrong?
“My heart. I don’t want him to break my heart,” she admitted softly.
“Has he given you any reason to be concerned that he would?” Paula asked.
“Mom, he’s a billionaire in Boston. I’m a country girl with a shop in the red. Isn’t that enough?”
Paula chuckled. “I hate to tell you this, but you sound like his mother.”
“What? I’m nothing like her,” Shanda said.
“Really? You told me she made you feel as though you might not be worthy of being in her family,” Paula said.
“That was before. We ironed all that out and things are better.”
“For her. But not for you. Think about it. If she has no issue with your financial status, then the only person holding onto that is you.”
“But Mom…”
“Don’t ‘but Mom’ me. You know darn well that I’m right. What’s funny is, you don’t normally worry about those things. Kenneth obviously is aware of your status too since he’s helping with the business.”
“That’s what sucks. He knows what I’m bringing to the table and it isn’t prime rib,” she said.
“Shanda, may I ask you a question.” Shanda nodded and Paula said, “Would you rather he give up everything and move to Hope Valley to be with you?”
Her eyes widened with shock. “Of course not. I hate even knowing that he has to travel so much because of me.”
“I believe Kenneth loves you. And I also believe he’ll make that move if you don’t. Now you have to decide what is more important to you. Right now, it is your happiness, and future, that is on the line. If you let fear start guiding your decisions, it won’t matter if you stay or go. You’ll be putting yourself in a box that you might not be able to get out of,” Paula stated.
I just wish I knew how he felt.
“How do I broach the subject? I can’t tell him I’m willing to move to Boston. He hasn’t asked me to. That will sound…pushy.” She was worried about scaring him away, too.
“Have you spent the night with him in Boston?” Paula asked. “Sorry, I’m not trying to pry into your personal life. Pretend it’s not your mother asking the question.”
That wasn’t going to be easy, but she was a grown woman and they knew Kenneth had stayed several nights at her place. “No I haven’t. He hasn’t invited me to, either.”
“Then invite yourself,” Paula said.
“Mom, I can’t believe you want me to just tell him I’m spending the night,” Shanda stated, in shock.
“Not in those words. You can make it seem like it’s his idea. He has to travel so much and you wouldn’t mind doing some of the traveling instead.”
“So you want me to trick him into asking me to stay,” she said. Paula shrugged. “I can’t do that. We promised to always say the truth.”
“Then why are you sitting here with me instead of discussing this with him?” Paula asked.
No answer for that one either. Her mom really wasn’t in her corner for this. “Are you sure you’re not trying to get rid of me? Because you’re pushing me to move.”
