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If she wanted me to stay again, she could’ve asked.
That was the problem. He had no idea what she wanted. He’d tried to apologize for what he’d said, and she didn’t want to discuss it. Actually, she insisted they just drop it. That was the easiest thing to do, but he didn’t understand why she didn’t want to talk it out.
What the fuck is wrong with me? When did I start wanting to talk?He downed the contents of his glass and poured another. She was giving him what he wanted, or at least what he used to want. Now it didn’t seem like enough. Jerry wanted to know more about her, yet she seemed resistant to sharing. He knew about her growing list of fears, but what about her hopes and dreams for the future? She must have those as well.
Jerry knew he wasn’t going to learn them from here. He also wasn’t going to drive back to Hope Valley after telling her he needed to be in Boston to get some work done.
They might not know much about each other, but he wasn’t one who lied. He slammed the glass on the bar and headed for his laptop. If he wasn’t going to spend the night figuring out what he wanted with Reanna, he might as well accomplish something productive.
The hours went by and as he read what he wrote, he knew it was garbage. Where was his fight, the edge he usually had? Even on paper, people knew he wasn’t to be messed with. This email sounded more like he was a Boy Scout who played by the rules.
Deleting the email and files, he closed his laptop, grabbed the entire bottle of Bourbon, and headed for bed. He knew sleep wasn’t going to come on its own. It needed a bit of help.
By his third glass, he was very relaxed, but not asleep. What the fuck? Jerry reached for his cell phone and hoped he’d missed a text or a call. Nothing. How can she sleep without me there?
If she wasn’t going to say goodnight, then it was up to him. She had the night off, so there was no problem calling. The worst thing he could do was wake her. He dialed the number and it rang four times before going to voicemail. He never noticed her to put the phone on silent, but she could be in the shower, or maybe it was in another room.
Call me back honey. I want to hear your voice.
While he waited, he emptied two more glasses and finally passed out. Even that wasn’t enough to erase her from his mind, as her laughter and smile haunted him in his dreams.
Reanna. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Talk to me. Tell me your feelings. Maybe then I’ll understand my own.
