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“The light from her hands…strong enough to take him?” Dusk mouths the words as he signs.
I nod. There was something blinding and beautiful about her light, like it came from the heart of her. I’ve never seen anything like it, never been so drawn to anything as I am to her. But as beautiful as it was, it was also dangerous. Capable of taking down a smoke dragon and possibly their father too. If she could learn to harness that light, if we could have her use it at the right moment, this war could be over and done with no more bloodshed.
Not that I think that will happen.
“Yes,” I sign. "If she's willing to."
We keep walking. The darkness seeming to stretch on forever. Phantom picks up another shard and puts it in his pack with the others then turns and leans back against a tree. I don't even have to wonder what he's thinking about. I know that look. He never thought it would turn out this way with their father.
“Until our mother died, he was different,” he signs slowly, his face an expression of disbelief.
I watched them interact. I might have been there for the part of their lives when they lost their mother, but it was never the same for me. She was their everything. Their light in the world. She made them smile and laugh. She simply had the kind of presence that filled a room. But to me, she was never anything more than a kind queen. Someone I was glad allowed me around.
But for them, she was their mother, and her passing was the end of their childhood.
Dusk moves closer to Phantom and his brows draw together. “Fucking grave trolls.” He shakes his head and drops a hand on Phantom’s shoulder.
I’ve heard the story before. Grave trolls and rot monkeys are much the same as predatory animals in this world. Sometimes, humans fall to them. But more often than not, they live almost in separate places. Grave trolls and rot monkeys stick to dark corners of the woods, places where no reasonable person would go. Their mother was nowhere near a dangerous place. Off for a stroll, I believe, yet somehow they got her.
After the attack, the boys had found her. Dying. They tried to save her. Tried to revive her. But it didn’t work out. They'd returned home with faces puffy and red from crying and hands covered in her blood. I'd gathered most of what I knew from the guards who found them, still trying to save their mother, even though she was already gone.
At the time, I'd cried alone in my room, then hid my emotions to be there for my friends. Even as a boy I understood that her passing was sad, but that it was more important to help them than to deal with my own confusing feelings about loss, and my own mother.
“He changed after she died.” Phantom says the words while signing them. “But I never thought he was evil until that day.”
I nod. We all know the day. And it didn’t happen until after their mother died. Years had passed, with me watching their father slowly creeping toward something dark and terrible. Years of the shadow beasts eying the king and wondering if he'd lost his marbles when he’d lost his mate. In the days leading up to their father's attack and theft of the moon from the sky, I'd been watching and listening, knowing something was wrong. But Phantom and Dusk had been so sure that this too would pass. That their father would find a way to come out the other side of her loss.
They were wrong. And yet, they'd more than paid for their mistake.
"You believed in him," I sign to them. "You believe in everyone you love. It's something I envy about you."
Phantom gives me a sad nod. He knows that I don't have the same faith in people. No matter how hard I've tried to see the good in the world, it's just not there, not the way it has always been for Dusk and him.
"I want to believe inhertoo," Phantom signs more slowly.
I can't help myself; I sign back. "Me too." Because I do want to believe in Ann and our connection, I just can't.
We spend a while longer looking for more shards without luck, then head back to the cave. Usually this is the point in our scouting that we get faster, that there's a little pep in our step. Some excitement for a warm bed, a warm meal, and a place to rest. But there's no pep in our step now; we're like men marching off to our deaths... or our mate who doesn't want us. It feels the same.
She’s lying on my bedroll andhe’sacross from her on the ground. They aren’t touching and I don’t know why that makes me happy. The three of us find stew cooking over the fire. It's not good, but we eat as much as we can in silence. Then, instead of waking her to put her on her own bedroll, I move to the wall and sit back against it. It isn't comfortable, but after all these years I can sleep just about anywhere. In fact, the cave wall is a vast improvement over a cage.
My brothers give me a look, then lie down on their own bedrolls. I know they probably want me to lay with her, to stake our claim in some way and make it clear to both Rayne and Ann that she's ours, but I can’t be by her, and I don’t want to wake her to face more sad looks. Away is better. If I touched her, smelled her, I would forget all about the fact that she doesn't want me, and then be heartbroken again in the morning.
I haveno idea how much time has passed when I startle awake. My gaze snaps to the entrance to the cave where the sun bathes the entrance in a soft morning light. Then, I look for Ann, but she’s gone. I'm wide awake in an instant, searching for her. But not only is she gone, so are the others. I spring away from the cave wall, ignoring the stiffness in my back and neck, and rush toward the cave entrance, heart in my throat.
Outside Rayne is standing, holding court with Phantom and Dusk. And since none of them look panicked, I instantly calm. Taking a few deep breaths, I walk over, trying to hide the fact that a minute ago I was ready to go running through the woods like a crazy person, searching for a woman who doesn't want me. But seeing them all glaring at each other after just waking up isn't a massive improvement.
I guess I have to be ready for tonight's shit show.
“She’s upset.” Rayne's words are easy to read on his lips, punctuated by a gesture at the doorway. And he’s directing his words and gestures at me.
Dusk signs to me, “She thought you would sleep beside her and when you didn’t…” He shrugs and I fill in the blanks.
Rayne glares at me. “She’s drawn to each of you and your anger hurts her.”
Hurts her?To my surprise, Rayne seems entirely sincere. And I see it in his face: her pain is his pain. Like... a mate.
It feels as if a blade is twisting in my chest. This man seems like an enemy in every way. I don't want us to have anything in common. I don't want to see that he cares for my mate like I care for her. Part of me wants to turn with my trademark sulk and run from this problem, but I linger. Not interrupting, because he’s not what I expected and I’m not quite sure what to do with that.
