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And yet, I'd always liked the idea of sharing a mate with my friends. When I met Ann and they didn't feel a mate bond with her, I was a little disappointed. But they were the only men I could ever imagine sharing a woman with.
Until now.
It's true that my relationship with the shadow beasts has just barely moved from enemies to friends, but after I got over myself, I really had to sit with the idea that I didn't know what the future would hold. I had to ask myself what would happen if my ghost stopped existing in this body, and Ann was suddenly left alone again. And the final question... did I hate the idea of sharing my mate more than I loved my mate?
The answer came easily: no. I love Ann more than anything. More than the sun. More than the sky. More than any title, or any object, or any person. I would give her anything. So the least I could do was accept that she loved other people and that they loved her.That's what anyone would want, right? More people to love the people they care about?
And so, I'd accepted it.
What I didn't expect... was that I'd find the whole experience of sharing her to be so damned erotic.
I comb the hair back from her face and smile when her nose wrinkles up, and then she relaxes once more. Phantom, as if aware of her disturbance, tightens his arm around her. Behind me, Onyx makes a little sound in his sleep, as if the warrior is having the same kinds of dreams that plagued me all night long. Leaning up a little, I look for Dusk, then realize he isn't there. The fire beside us has been built up, and I smell cooking, but the man is nowhere to be seen.
So, I cautiously untangle myself from the blankets and step away from them. Onyx instantly rolls onto his side, so he has an arm over Ann too, and I grab a forgotten blanket and spread it over the three of them. My heart feels oddly full. One minute I was dead, the next I have the woman I love back and three men, who very well will become the brothers I always wanted. They’re not a replacement for the friends I lost, but something different. Something good.
Dressing quickly, I walk outside and find that Dusk has built a larger fire just a short distance from the cave. Evening is almost upon us, blanketing the forest in golden light. He's standing staring out at the woods, a small smile on his lips. A smile that I can guess the source of. But what's stranger is that I don't think I've ever seen the man look this... relaxed and happy. It's surprising how glad I am to be some small part of his happiness.
As if he senses me, the shadow beast turns around. When our gazes meet, he smiles again. Another nicety that I'm happy to enjoy. These men, after all they've been through, need more friends rather than enemies. I hope they're starting to see me as one.
"Can I join you?" I ask him softly.
He nods. There are logs around the fire, and he chooses one to sit at, where it seems he's been fixing clothes beneath the light of the fire and the evening sky. He picks up right back where I assume he left off, stitching tiny threads into leather. I watch him silently for a bit, a little surprised by how much these men seem to understand. I don't know how their world works, but a royal like me has never had a reason to learn how to fix clothes. And yet this prince of his people knows how to. It's a curious thing.
"What?" he asks, no anger in his voice, just curiosity.
"I'm just continually surprised by how different your people seem to be from ours."
"Really?" His gaze is open as he looks at me. "How so?"
"I don't know." I rub the back of my neck, suddenly nervous. Things are going well between all of us for once. I don't want to say the wrong thing and destroy this hard-earned peace. And yet, I need to explain. "I feel like I don't have any life skills in comparison to you." I laugh, a little uncomfortable. "Growing up, my family were the most powerful of fae. We had property everywhere. We went to important functions. We had important guests to impress. I never had to learn things like cooking, cleaning, and sewing."
To my relief, Dusk doesn't seem insulted. "Our world is very different. Yours has a lot of strange things... technology, they call it. Things our people don't have. Whereas our world relies more on magic. We're just as likely to go out hunting with bows and arrows as we are to throw wild parties and invite the neighboring royalty."
I smile. "We're equally weird. We're just as likely to watch TV as we are to create strange spells under a full moon."
Dusk laughs.
I laugh too.
It's nice.
Dusk reaches forward and stirs the cooking stew for a minute before returning to his sewing. "Do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
He hesitates, then seems to decide to go for it. “How did you meet Ann?”
It’s an upfront question. Honest. Curious.
“At Royal Fae Academy.”
He frowns. "The place they kept us in cages beneath the school." A harshness flows through his words. "Those fucking fae who lured us, who got those collars on us, who enslaved us."
I wince. "If it helps, most fae had no idea that was going on. We were as surprised as you were when we realized our own people were using you as a tool to kill the dark fae."
His lips curl a bit, but then he blows out a breath. "I don't blame you. I just hope your people don't blame us for killing all those dark fae. We didn't have a choice. We would never... never--" he shudders, "kill innocents."
"We know." I pause, then clarify, "I knew. I figured it out. But I'm sure by now my sister has explained it all to our people. If we ever get back though, I'll make it clear to everyone." I realize there's a bit of a threat in my words, and I realize I'm clenching my hands into fists so I slowly release them. I don't like what the fae were doing, and some small part of me feels strange that I didn't get to finish the mission I was so dedicated to, even though my sister and my friends finished it for me.
