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And so it begins.
17
Ann
"Rayne."My voice cracks, edged with tears.
He freezes, the darkness of the woods seeming to close in around us as he does. "Don't..." And he sounds just as upset as I feel.
"I know you want to protect me. That all of you do. But you can't do this. You can't use your strength to force me to do something I don't want to do. It's wrong. And if you carry me away now, mate or not, I will never forgive you. When you eventually put me down, I'll go right back to the Void, and I'll hate you. I won't want to, but I will." A sob explodes from my lips because I'm telling him the truth. I love him, but I'll never forgive him for this.
He takes a step forward, then stops again. "Ann, the other shadow beasts are probably hunting us as we speak. We need to get as far from them as fast as we can. At a certain point, they'll go back into the Void, and we'll be free."
"I don't want to be free, not like this." I wipe the tears from my eyes. "Please. I was able to help them before. I think I can now too."
"With your light?" He sounds doubtful.
"With my light, with my fists, it doesn't matter. I can help."
To my surprise, he slowly sets me down, and then we're staring at each other. "I'm fighting every instinct inside of me doing this. Losing you again... it'll break me."
"Which is how I'll feel if I lose them."
He drops his gaze to his feet. "I can't take you back there. I told them I'd keep you away. That I'd keep you safe. I gave them my word."
“Then, I’ll go without you.” I nod as if to tell myself that that's exactly what I'll do, even if it feels like by leaving Rayne, I'm leaving part of my heart behind.
I turn and push away the brush, trying to hurry away so he doesn’t stop me, so that I don't stop. I have to do this although I have no idea where I’m going or how to get back to the spot where I’d left Dusk and Onyx and Phantom because I didn’t pay attention when he hauled me through the woods like a sack of grain over his shoulder. But it doesn’t matter. I should be able to find my way through the feeling in my heart as we fled the battle I left them fighting. Too strong to be a flutter, it pounds now at the thought of getting back to them.
I’m angry at Rayne for not listening to me and at Phantom, Onyx, and Dusk for deciding for me whether or not I should be there with them when they meet the king. These days have been so long, so exhausting, but I push forward, because I know they need me. Even if they think they don't. I might not entirely know how to control my light, but my new powers haven't abandoned me thus far, so why would they do so now when we need them the most?
Finally, Rayne calls out from behind me, “You’re going the wrong way.” So, apparently, he'd been following me. I want to be upset about it, but having him with me just feels right.
"How do I know you're telling me the truth?"
He sighs loudly. "I guess you don't."
Well, that's not helpful.I truly don’t know if I can trust him to tell me the right direction to go. Iwantto be able to trust him and I want that with a desperation unrivaled before in my life, but he’s also the one who pulled me away from them in the first place. Who, against my will, forced me to leave them there fighting, maybe even dying. And I don’t know if I can forgive him.
I keep going, picking another direction.
"Wrong again."
Damn it.“Which way?”
"This way." He turns to what I think is the south and starts walking, without waiting for me to follow. Although we both know I’m going to. The further into the forest he takes me, the heavier the air, the stronger the pull to the men who occupy the bulk of the real estate inside my soul. I hope that means we're going in the right direction, but the truth is that I'm not sure.
When we get close to a small clearing and I hear voices, Rayne pulls me down behind a fallen tree that’s almost taller than I am when I’m standing. “Listen to me, Ann. You can’t just go running in there.” He closes his eyes and breathes out his nose. “I have an idea. It’s great in theory, but…” He shakes his head and sighs.
"What theory?"
He avoids my gaze.
"Rayne?"
His pale blue eyes meet mine. "Ask for help. Ask for the light to work."
I frown. "Like, out loud?"And ask? Ask who?
