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Onyx is there in an instant, saving Phantom from a face plant, letting his best friend lean on him as he half-carries him. Then, taking one of the torches and starting forward, he begins leading us through the dark woods, one arm wrapped around Phantom as he hauls him along.
“Come.” I motion for Rayne to help me with Dusk, but Dusk shoots Rayne a cautionary look and Rayne holds up both hands, stepping back as if worried about the guy who can barely stand.
Rolling my eyes, I shove myself under Dusk’s arm and wrap mine around his waist. His body is firm, warm, solid, but I treat him gently as I remind myself of his injury.
We make our way back to the tunnel that will take us to our smaller cave. Dusk is obviously trying to help, to not put all his weight on me, but the walk back to our little cave seems to take forever. I'm definitely sweating, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other, and trying not to think about the battle... about my strange powers... about what refusing to leave with Rayne means.
“Thank you, Ann, for coming back.” Dusk's voice is husky and deep, and I can't help but look into his eyes. They’re pale and glowing with need, with desire so potent it’s like a caress against my skin. Which is just crazy. This guy was at death's door a moment ago, and now he's looking at me like he wants to jump my bones.
Oh yeah, and then my "dead" fated mate is alive in another man's body. So if I need things to be more complicated, well, they are. And I have the feeling this is just the tip of the iceberg of the problems heading our way.
"We thought we didn't need you,” he continues. "We were wrong."
"Yeah, you were," I say, trying to make light of this whole strange situation. But the truth is, it isn’t like I ever had a choice. I’m drawn to them, all of them, the same way I’m drawn to Rayne. “And I'll always come back.” It isn’t just pointless words. It’s a sentiment. One that is no more my choice than who I am is.
One that means I’m accepting that they’re right… that we’re something important to each other, even if I’m afraid to admit what that something is.
As we walk toward the cave, Phantom is leaning on Onyx in front of us, with Rayne following Dusk and I. “You brought a... friend.” Dusk stumbles and I catch him. I can’t deny what I know in my heart. The moment is upon us. I have to be honest, to tell them.
I nod, almost stumbling on a tree root before I right myself. “Yeah.” Never has a glare felt so powerful. “But it isn’t what you think.” They won’t guess. If I give them a hundred years, there’s no way they’re getting this one. And it isn’t like they’re going to like this story any better. “Adrik is Rayne.” That isn’t enough. “Rayne is Adrik.” Although God knows how I’m going to make this make sense. Even to me, a fae, it’s not usual. “Rayne’s ghost took Adrik’s body. I don’t know how, but I’m thinking because Adrik’s soul, mind, whatever, was already gone, it made it easy for Rayne to step into him. To use his body.”
“Rayne?” Phantom glances from me to Adrik’s body and back. “Wait.YourRayne? Yourmate?” He jabs a finger behind him at Rayne, who’s hanging back as we walk toward the tunnel.
“Yeah.”
Phantom’s eyes flash, his jaw ticks, and Dusk glances down at me.
“I’ll explain when we get back to the cave.” I don’t wait for him to agree. I can’t. I need these few minutes to organize my thoughts, to make sense of everything I haven’t had time to digest. I just have to figure out a way to explain this that makes sense to all of us.
2
Phantom
My thoughts are a mess,even more so than my aching body. Battle is never easy, not on the mind or the body, but especially when I'm fighting my brethren. It’s somehow much worse than fighting my father. For a short time, I tried not to hurt the shadow beasts controlled by my father, knowing that if they were free, they would never fight us. But that notion was dashed away pretty quickly when I realized fighting one of my own, while trying not to hurt them, was a good way to end up dead.
Still, every time I look into their faces, I wonder who they are. The baker who snuck me treats as a boy? A maid who cared for our home? Friends? Boys who grew into men right alongside me?
It’s a cruel thing to wonder these things, so I try not to, as impossible a thing as that is. Instead, I try to see them as just an extension of my father, because it’s the only way to not lose my mind as I end them. They arenotmy people, trapped in their beast-form, unable to escape. They are enemies.
And if we can win this war, maybe I’ll be a€ble to free them.
At least what’s left of them.
With time I've accepted that the man I once loved, once placed on a pedestal, is not a good man. He's enslaved my fellow shadow beasts, all but the small pack that stands with us on earth. And no good person has ever enslaved others. That means that all the pleasant memories I have of my father when I was a boy no longer matter. That man is dead and gone. All that remains is a dangerous enemy.
But still, seeing him is only a touch easier.
Not that war is ever easy.
The tunnel we’ve entered is silent as our haggard group makes its way back to our little cave, past the section that connects to the main cave. Sometimes it's strange to me that we chose this cave away from the rest of our people. At first it was mostly out of shame. Had we been smarter, had we seen the truth in our father sooner, none of this would have happened. But it was more than shame that kept us away after that. It was knowing that our people weren't as comfortable around us royals. It created a tension in the main cave that was palpable, and our people already have enough to deal with without being uncomfortable in their would-be home. And then, finally, it was because with our father’s anger mostly directed at us, we hoped to keep him from finding their home.
Which has worked. Even if it has the price of keeping some distance between us and our people.
When we reach the hidden cave entrance, Adrick—no, Adrick's soul was consumed by the smoke dragon—Rayne, Ranye in his body, says, "Allow me," like he's welcoming us into a castle rather than approaching our cave.
It irritates me, but I keep my mouth shut, watching the man as he moves forward. Adrik is a big man, not nearly as big as the three of us, but large like all shadow beasts. His hair is light brown, cut short, which is uncommon for our people. His weeks spent lying in a cave, his body wasting away, had weakened his muscles... but apparently, not as much as I would have thought.
Rayne, because that’s who this is now, moves the boulder protecting the hidden tunnel’s entrance with only a little difficulty. When he's done, he turns to us with a grin. A grin that doesn't make sense after our battle, after the loss of my men, after seeing my father again. It's as if this man has no concept of war and of life and death, even though he himself was dead.
