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‘A dozen or more creation myths warred for eminence once, until but one survived. Alas, the victor was not this one. We seek reasons for what we are and how we imagine ourselves; and every reason strives to become justification, and every justification a righteous cause. By this a people build an identity and cleave to it. But it is all invention, High Priestess, to make clay into flesh, sticks into bone, and flames into thought. No alternative sits well with us.’
‘What alternative would you have?’
He shrugged. ‘That we are meaningless. Our lives, our selves, our pasts and most of all, our existence in the present. This moment, the next, and the next: each one we find in wonder and near disbelief.’
‘Is this your conclusion, Rise Herat? That we are meaningless?’
‘I try not to think in terms of meaning, Daughter of Night. I but measure life in degrees of helplessness, and in the observation of this, we find, in totality, the purpose of history.’
She sent him away when she began to weep. He did not object. There was no pleasure in witnessing the very helplessness of which he had spoken, and so a single gesture had set him to flight.
Now he stood, upon the tower, and from the gate below there came the creaking of massive doors, and out on to the bridge rode two Sons of Darkness and their entourage. Pure was Anomander’s black skin, and pure silver his long mane, and as the day’s light died, Rise thought he could hear, on the wind, that sundering of light — there, in the rumble of horse hoofs — and before it, on the street, barely discerned figures scattered from its path.
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‘A dozen or more creation myths warred for eminence once, until but one survived. Alas, the victor was not this one. We seek reasons for what we are and how we imagine ourselves; and every reason strives to become justification, and every justification a righteous cause. By this a people build an identity and cleave to it. But it is all invention, High Priestess, to make clay into flesh, sticks into bone, and flames into thought. No alternative sits well with us.’
‘What alternative would you have?’
He shrugged. ‘That we are meaningless. Our lives, our selves, our pasts and most of all, our existence in the present. This moment, the next, and the next: each one we find in wonder and near disbelief.’
‘Is this your conclusion, Rise Herat? That we are meaningless?’
‘I try not to think in terms of meaning, Daughter of Night. I but measure life in degrees of helplessness, and in the observation of this, we find, in totality, the purpose of history.’
She sent him away when she began to weep. He did not object. There was no pleasure in witnessing the very helplessness of which he had spoken, and so a single gesture had set him to flight.
Now he stood, upon the tower, and from the gate below there came the creaking of massive doors, and out on to the bridge rode two Sons of Darkness and their entourage. Pure was Anomander’s black skin, and pure silver his long mane, and as the day’s light died, Rise thought he could hear, on the wind, that sundering of light — there, in the rumble of horse hoofs — and before it, on the street, barely discerned figures scattered from its path.
The dog, a bedraggled mess of mud and burrs, was entangled in a chaotic web of roots, branches and detritus, just beneath the eastern bank of the river. It was limp with exhaustion, struggling to keep its head above the water, as the currents tugged at its limbs.
Unmindful of the bitter cold water and pushing through the current — the stony bottom beneath the undercut bank shifting with every step — Grizzin Farl worked his way closer.
The dog swung its head towards him and he saw its large ears dip as if in shame. Reaching its side, the Azathanai lifted clear his travel sack and flung it over the bank, and then reached down and gently extricated the hapless creature.
‘Most bravery, dear little one,’ he said as he pulled the dog from the water and rested it across the back of his thickly muscled neck, ‘is marked by a strength less than imagined, and a hope farther from reach than one expects.’ He took hold of the roots above and tested to see if they would hold their weight. ‘One day, friend, I will be asked to reveal the heroes of the world, and do you know where I shall take my questioner?’ The roots held and he pulled himself up, out of the dragging current. The dog, still clinging atop his shoulders, licked the side of Grizzin’s face and he nodded. ‘You are quite correct. A cemetery. And in there, before every marker of stone, we shall stand, looking down upon a hero. What think you of that?’
He clambered on to the bank and then sank down on to his hands and knees — since the crossing had proved more onerous than he had thought it would — and the dog slid and scrambled down from his shoulders. It came round in front of him and then shook the water from its fur.
‘Aai, foul creature! Did you not see how I struggled to keep my hair dry? This mane need only glance at water and forest to twist into hopeless snarls and tangles. Beastly rain!’
Faintly crossed eyes regarded him, head cocking as if the dog were considering Grizzin’s bluster, and finding it far from threatening.
The Azathanai frowned. ‘You are a most starved specimen, friend. I’d wager you share every meal and the servings unfairly apportioned. Have we rested enough? I see yon road venturing south and it beckons. It ventures north, too, you say? We shall see none of that with our backs, however, will we? No, with eyes and intention let us narrow the world before us.’
Collecting his sack, he climbed grunting to his feet, and when he set off the dog fell in beside him.
‘Providence well understands me,’ Grizzin said, ‘and knows how better I fare for wise and wisely silent company. Lacking the pleasure of hearing my own voice is a torture I would not wish upon my worst enemy — had I enemies, and a worst one among them, whoever they may be. But think of the dread such an enemy would feel to hear me draw near! A true nemesis am I to him, or her — but no, we shall swing wide of her, lest we envisage a face for this imagined foe, and a pot wielded by a less than dainty yet no less vengeful hand. Him, then, this enemy cowering before us. Do you see a single bone of mercy in me, friend? One you would care to snatch away and bury? Of course not. My heart is cold. My eyes are ice. My every thought is unyielding as solid stone.’
