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Zeal shrugged. "I think I can keep her from falling. I also have a feeling that you'll want to make sure those boys on the far side don't slip their hands into your sisters' pockets. Amazingly good pickpockets for their age."
"Thank you," Talin told him as he passed me a small paper cup. "Something to keep you warm."
"Ok." I took a sip and tasted spiced apples on my tongue, but Zeal was already holding out his hand. That meant drinking would not get me out of stumbling my way toward the ice. "I'm going to spill this on you," I warned.
"I'll survive," he promised. "I also know how to skate. C'mon, Nari. Let's make fools of ourselves?"
On either side of me, the girls were giggling, encouraging me, so I tried. Getting to my feet involved a lot of wobbling as the blades sank into the dirt, but Zeal immediately caught my arm, pulling me beside him.
As we staggered toward the ice, I heard Maela behind us. "You aren't jealous that he's with your desire?"
"Doesn't work that way," Yamina explained. "Besides, I think he's a Priest of Word? Looks like there's lace at his throat."
"He's something," Talin agreed. "And no, Maela, I'm not jealous. That man is special to her, and so long as he treats her right, I'm just happy to see her happy. That is how love works in the temple. I don't own her. If anything, she owns me."
Zeal eased me onto the ice. "I do like him more than I expected," he said. "Talin was the perfect choice for you."
"He kinda is," I agreed. "Only person better would've been Wraythe, and he's with Eladehl."
"I actually disagree," Zeal said. "I think Wraythe would've died inside each time you accepted a session. That man loves you in a way that's so deep, it's a part of who he is. You, however, are a very sensual creature. You know what you want, and you want it all. You want more than what one man can give you, which is why I gave you five."
"Three," I corrected.
He flashed me a smile. "Believe it or not, Jamik is a man. Not a lover, but a man. He gives you comfort in a way you can't get anywhere else. And that is why you had me put that inscription on his watch. Now, what did it say again?"
"For the father I should've had," I admitted.
Zeal nodded as he gently pushed me forward. That placed him just behind me, but off to the side. The perfect position to put his mouth beside my ear. "So that's one. Eladehl, Wraythe, and Talin make four. And then there's the lost one. The man who you just encouraged to find his way back."
"Anver," I realized.
Zeal nodded. "And I know you didn't ask me to give him the present, but no one else bothered to get him a gift, so I stole it from Talin's room last night. It seems that a present from a god isn't quite as impressive as one from the woman he longs for most. He loved it, Nari. Enough to bring tears to his eyes."
"But how can I forgive him for leaving me, Zeal? I want to - I just don't knowhow."
He scoffed. "By realizing that you aren't perfect either. He made a mistake. One that hurt, but he's done nothing since but try to make up for it. What exactly do you want from him before you'll forgive him?"
"An apology!"
"He's working on it," Zeal promised. "But before he'll grovel, he wants to prove to you that he's changed, so he's focused on changing. Every spare minute, that man is in the Salle, working to master yet another weapon. He's pouring through books, memorizing the tenets I've listed - which is stupid, because he could just ask me. But he says he wants to understand you. He wants to know what you're doing in your classes, what stress you're under, and how to make it easier. Even more shocking, he's doing it all without the expectation that you will ever forgive him. He thinks you hate him, and he'sstilltrying to make sure he's the man you need."
"So why didn't you make him my guardian?" I asked, taking another drink of my quickly-cooling cider.
Zeal leaned, angling me around the bend at the end of the pond. "Because he isn't strong enough for you. No, Anver is the guide wire. Of all the people around you, he's the only one who truly understands that type of pain. He knows what it's like to remake himself. He also will never do it again. You see, when he broke your heart, he also broke his own, and he hates himself for it."
"I don't want him to hate himself," I insisted.
"No?" he asked. "So what exactly did you think would happen when the three of you began avoiding him? When you replaced him with something better and then made no attempt to hide how quickly you fell in love with his replacement? Or did you think that he was actually in love with that brainless twat he's bound to?"
"Then whydidyou bind him to her?" I asked.
"Mm, I have my reasons. It's called penance, my dear. It also worked perfectly to teach him what he needed to know. And maybe I like that he's so willing to avoid her that he seeks me out."
I chugged back the last of my drink and began to look for a trash receptacle. "Are you that lonely, Zeal?"
"You haven't been calling me lately, so yes. Trust me, hundreds of years of talking only to my siblings? We've said all there is to say. But, believe it or not, that's not why I'm here today." And he tipped his head to where Talin was helping Maela around the ice with an arm protectively around her waist. Yamina skated around them in circles, showing off. "I wanted to meet her."
"Lady Ranndor?" I asked.
