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"Is that why he's still sleeping?" Wraythe asked.
Zeal ducked his head and chuckled. "No. He's sleeping because his dreams are too sweet to disturb. Because for the first time in far too long, he's resting, not fretting. Because last night meant more to him than all of you know. He failed, and he needed to, but he didn't expect it."
"He can't hurt the ones he loves," Talin said, looking back at Ela. "Is that what you mean?"
"Yes, but while you knew it, he feared that you were wrong. He..." Zeal reached down to clasp Ela's leg through the blankets, caressing it gently. "He has never seen his own value, only the shiny golden facade he wears. He thinks it's a lie, but it's not. What he carries is heavy, but he's strong enough to do it. I didn't mean to hurt him. None of you."
"Zeal," I said, getting his attention again. "It's ok. We knew this wouldn't be easy."
"But it's breaking you!" he snarled. "Before my eyes, I see your spark dimming. I see your rage being put out. I watch as you become more and more meek. I gave you a gift, and I'm destroying you to save myself, and that is not what I wanted!"
Ela sucked in a breath when Zeal's voice got loud enough, proving he couldn't quite sleep through that. "What?"
"I intended to make you perfect. I did not mean tobreakyou! I..." Zeal stepped back. "I'm not a kind god."
"Stop!" Ela snapped just before Zeal could turn away, proving he could wake up quickly. "Why couldn't I hurt Talin last night?"
"You didn't want to," Zeal admitted.
Ela nodded. "What would've happened to me if I hadn't been surrendered? Your best guess, Zeal, because I know you can't see futures."
"You would've become hard, cruel, and be dead by now when you pushed too far, too fast."
"Yeah," Ela breathed, looking over at us as he tried to catch up. "And why did you ride Nari as a child? You said before that it can break people, but you climbed into her skin before she was even mature enough to handle that. Why?"
"Because I wanted you all to have a good life," Zeal admitted.
"Then you're a kind god," Ela told him. "We're just not kind people. You made the most of the materials you have to work with."
"But you're wrong," Zeal told him. "You are kind. You're generous and devoted, and everything good to the ones you feel deserve it. It's the ones who don't that get your wrath."
"And most don't," Ela said.
Zeal canted his head. "Sadly, that is true."
"No," Ela said. "Listen to me, Zeal. Most don't. You're kind and generous and devoted. Everything good to the onesyoufeel deserve it, but most don't."
"I'm learning how to be a good god," Zeal told him.
"Yeah," Ela said softly. "I think we're all learning something. As far as I care, though, you're the best god. Even better if you can fix up Talin."
"Already did," Zeal promised. "While you dreamed of kissing Wraythe while they seduced you, I made sure he won't hurt."
Ela just laughed. "I take back all the 'good god' stuff."
Zeal finally smiled. "What? It was a good dream." And then he was simply gone.
I let out a groan and flopped onto the bed. "Someone tell me I shouldn't like him this much?"
"Not gonna happen," Wraythe grumbled as he flung off his blankets. "Shit, I like him enough to kiss him. Then again, he's our god, so I'm pretty sure that doesn't count."
"Still counts," Ela teased as Wraythe headed into the bathroom. Then he looked over at Talin. "Are you honestly ok?"
"I'm fine," Talin promised, twisting so Ela could see the lack of bites on his body. "Not even sore."
I just wagged my finger between the two of them. "So is that going to start happening more often? Because I'm so ok with the idea of watching it, or being in the middle of it, or riding Wraythe while you both go at it... You get the picture."
Ela just rolled over me, trapping us both with the blankets still wrapped around him. "Think you can handle three men at once? Because I would suck the shit out of Wraythe's balls while you deep-throated him."
