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For all my tough talk, the truth was that failing my session scared the shit out of me. If I did, that would officially put me below the threshold, and Oryll could try to drop me from the class. According to Saval, my instructor could take my grades to the council of educators. Those were the Priests of the Word who focused on our education. They'd have the option to drop me to a lower Path or force me to be immersed yet again.
Either way, it wouldn't be good. Zeal insisted he wouldn't take my marks, but what good would that do? My god had given me a Path that didn't exist for anyone else, and I was trying to force it to fit in the gaps between all the others. Once I was practicing, it would be easy enough, but for now, this was torture.
So I walked into my Sexual Orientation class at the end of the day with my guts in a knot. Talin clasped my shoulder in one last display of support, then he and Wraythe headed for the back of the room - not the side where they usually stood so they could be close to us. Ela and I shared a look, but when the pair took a spot on either side of Anver, I understood.
He looked up at Wraythe first. A wistful smile touched his lips, and then he turned to smile at Talin with something like relief. Our guardians smiled back and then leaned, letting the wall hold them up. As if that was some kind of a sign, Anver finally relaxed and mimicked them. Oddly, it felt like the first time I'd seen him do that since Choosing.
So maybe our session hadn't been a complete failure. Even failing would be worth it if it meant getting Anver back. I hoped. In truth, I even prayed, but I had a feeling Zeal wasn't here for a very good reason. He had a tendency to do that when he needed us to learn on our own. For weeks now, he'd been telling me to rage and not be weak. This, right here, was going to be my test. I could just feel it in my bones.
Eventually, Oryll walked in carrying a stack of envelopes. They were clearly the grading papers we'd all turned in after our sessions. Some had filled them out immediately afterwards. Others, like Ela and me, had waited until the next day to think over what scores we wanted to give. We were all required to have them done and turned in before the start of class or we'd be the ones to fail.
Oryll dropped the stack onto his desk and began to flip through it. "So," he said, making the chatter in the class fall silent, "for many of you, this session was easier than the last. You're starting to get used to the system we use here in the temple. After you graduate from initiation training - in most cases - a patron will make a request for a priest. Someone on the Path of the Word will approve it and assign a Priest or Priestess of the Body. You will be given a scheduled room and time. When you show up, the patron will be waiting. When you are finished, you will leave, and they will have the room long enough to compose themselves."
Then he seemed to find what he was looking for. "And, let's see how our star students did, hm?" Opening the flap, he extracted a single piece of paper that had been folded in half. "Nariana, this was your first time performing a pain session, correct?"
"As a session, sure," I told him.
Then he flipped open the top. "Well, it seems that your assigned partner - " His mouth snapped closed and his eyes jumped across the room to Tishlie.
The girl sat hunched in her chair. Her shirt was cut high enough to hide the mark that I knew would still be on her shoulder. Her collar was buttoned all the way up, but it didn't hide the bruising around her throat. Then there was the scratch just under her chin. That was probably from my heel, but I didn't feel guilty at all.
Oryll cleared his throat and turned back to me. "She approved. You've received a good. This will keep you in the course for a little longer. Eladehl, you naturally got an excellent from your partner, and Tishlie? It seems you were scored a fair. The notes say that you talk too much to be a true submissive."
Her head snapped over to us and she huffed. "Had to rub it in, didn't you?"
Ela just shrugged, but his lips were curling higher. "Should've choked her on my dick instead of pounding her with it."
I ducked my head and chuckled. "She couldn't deep-throat, remember?"
"I have no problem with them gagging on me," he promised.
"As for the rest of you," Oryll said, picking up another page and walking toward the side wall. "Your grades will be posted here to check after class. If you have questions about your grade, I will be happy to go through the comments with you." But his eyes found me one more time. "I hope you can keep this up, Nariana, because we have another session in a month."
"What?" I asked, sitting up. "I thought there were only two this year."
"You clearly thought wrong," he told me. "There are two inthisclass this year. Our task is to prepare you for your duties. While everyone else here will be performing as Priests and Priestesses of the Body, what exactly areyousupposed to do for the temple?"
"The Path of the Body is still my main Path," I snapped at him. "I don't know why that's so hard for you to wrap your little mind around, Oryll. The Priests of the Word have determined - multiple times, mind you - that it's the largest set of lace on my body, even more than Action. The difference is that my duties don't end outside the bedroom. They include explaining the word of Zeal to patrons, helping them with their issues, protecting them from their problems, and so much more. This, Priest Oryll, is my Path, and only Zeal can take it from me."
"Or the High Priest," he countered.
"No matter how hard you try to fail me to impress that man, it's not going to work. High Priest Kinen accepts my marks. He saw them removed and replaced right before his eyes! He's declared them valid."
Never mind that the man had tried to drown me in the pool of tears, unaware that I could breathe them. Or that a large amount of his own lace was faked, most likely tattooed onto his skin. Plus, there was the tiny little detail about how Zeal had ridden Talin's body to save me that day, carrying me up the stairs to where a large portion of the temple had been waiting for the results.
All that mattered was that Zeal intended for these marks to be on me. He'd told me time and time again, but I'd been too worried about what everyone else thought and all these little mind games people were playing to believe this really was that simple. Now, I was finally figuring it out. Well, believing it was probably more true.
At the front of the room, Oryll just glared at me. He couldn't say I was wrong, because that was the official story, but he watched me like he knew better. Like he'd been let in on a secret, although we'd already figured that out. This man wanted to raise himself up in the temple, to get a better - or at least easier - job than teaching initiates. Getting rid of me was probably his ticket to the dream he'd spent his life chasing, but he couldn't just say that. Not with so many students watching.
Our staring battle lasted just a few seconds too long. Things were starting to feel uncomfortable, and the people around us were shifting as if they could feel it. Then, without any warning, the door opened and a beautiful woman walked in. My eyes jumped over at the sound, and I wasn't the only person looking. Right on the heels of the priestess was a face I recognized: Harlin.
"Priestess Jola," Oryll greeted her. "Is there something we can help you with?"
She smiled at him beautifully. "No, we just came to see the class. Didn't mean to interrupt."
Oryll cleared his throat. "So, like I was saying," he told us, acting like he was picking up where he'd been interrupted, "you will all have another session in one month. This one will focus on battery. I feel that blending pain play and battery is a mistake, as one is sexual and the other is very much not. Now, let us first discuss what counts as battery."
While he went off on how important it was for us to take the rage and baser emotions of the patrons, I tuned him out. This was something Amerlee had already taught me. I'd seen exactly how it worked, and I could imagine how bad the session could get. The problem for me would be taking the punishment. Too many months of learning to protect myself were starting to build reflexes, and blocking was quickly becoming second nature.
