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Grath laughed again. "Kinda what I thought. You just missed the part where we actually want to know. Can't help with something we don't know about."
"Can't help me in the middle of my exam either," I tossed back, "but it can make them do worse in theirs."
"We just need to pass," Wraythe assured me. "Don't worry about us, Nari. He'll gradeusfairly."
Unfortunately, not even stretching made my aches go away. I hated that Ghale had warned me about this. From the start of the year, it had been his biggest complaint, and now I was about to prove him right. But if I could fight through it, hold my own, and still get a decent enough grade? That was all I really wanted.
Soon enough, Ghale called us over to the sandy ring. I took a spot between Talin and Wraythe at the side. Ghale was at one end, and the other was open to let people in and out. Everyone was talking, the hum of voices was soft but persistent, and a thrill of excitement ran through it. Mostly, it was because we hadn't been told what to expect. We just knew that this final would be "grueling," according to Ghale, and it would test both our ability to handle a threat and recover from the ordeal - whatever that meant.
"Ok," our instructor said as the class fell silent, "there are twenty-seven students in here. I'll count myself as twenty-eight to make that a nice, round number. Grappling is a skill used in unexpected combat or rushed situations. To determine your capability of overcoming less than optimal situations, each of you will spar against the entire class. If you can stand against half the class - fourteen students - you will receive a passing grade of poor. Considering I'm counting you in that, think of it as a free 'win.' Nineteen will earn you a fair. Twenty-three will get you a score of good. If you want an excellent in this class, you will need to defeat all of us, including me. Doing so will earn you a final grade of excellent, regardless of your previous scores."
"Shit," Talin breathed as everyone in the room began murmuring about that. "He just gave you a way to make up for your early scores!"
Yeah, but at the same time, I knew my body wasn't in top shape. I was struggling in this class, my grade improving over the year, but those first few months had earned me far too many failures. I needed to win this. I had to, and the easiest way would be to go last, when everyone else was tired. The question was how to make that happen.
Of course, Ghale immediately turned his attention right to me. "Nariana, you will go first."
I felt the blood chill in my veins and I wanted to shake my head in refusal, but I wouldn't. For a split second, I'd hoped for success, only to have it taken away just as quickly. Still, I only needed a fair to pass the class. I had to stand against nineteen people in a row, but I wasn't sure I could even do that. Not with them all fresh and ready to go.
As I made my way to the entrance of the sandy area, Ghale continued. "Talin, Wraythe, and Grath, you will be the first against her. The rest of you, line up. At my call, you will engage and the previous student will make his or her way off the sand." He looked at me. "Are you ready?"
I wasn't. Not at all. Turning to where Talin stood waiting, I pulled in a deep breath and prayed for some way to make this work. I'd pushed myself beyond my limits this year. I'd fought to prove that my Path was real, and I didn't want to lose it all now. I was so fucking close, but I didn't think I could drop nineteen initiate guardians in a row! Three would be a lot. Five would be impressive. Nineteen was unheard of, especially with no weapons to rely on. This was just me, a battered little priestess against men and women who'd dedicated their lives to protecting others.
Still, I nodded, letting Ghale know that he could start. "Talin, fight on!"
My guardian's foot touched the sand and power rushed into me. Time slowed, my aches faded, and Zeal filled my mind. I pulled in a breath, my spine straightened, and I felt like I had become invincible. Then my god's awareness pushed in beside mine. Not in front, not smothering me. He shared my body, making this a true partnership.
You always assume you have to do things on your own, he thought to me.You don't. Sometimes, it's ok to just let go, Nari. Trust the ones you love. Let us carry our share. I didn't ask you to fight for me. I never have. I asked you to surrender to me. Ela needs you to give yourself to him. Talin only wants you to believe in him. And Wraythe? He desires nothing more than for you to honestly need him. Let us, Nari. We want to be your partners, not your tools, and not your responsibilities, but you have to let us do our part.
Surrender.
The air rushed from my lungs, and I knew he was right. This was my god. That was my guardian. Wraythe was my rock, and I knew he would always hold me up. Ela had already proven to me that his love was stronger than his darkness. I'd given him the chance. I'd trusted him blindly, and I trusted these men just as much. I simply didn't trust myself. I also didn't have to, becausetheytrusted me.
I let go of my body, giving it all to Zeal. Time rushed back to normal, and Talin was coming at us hard. Zeal lifted my head, smiled, and shoved one arm out. My hand hit Talin's chest, stronger than I'd ever been before. The aches of my abused body didn't slow Zeal at all. He couldn't feel them. But Talin staggered back with shock on his face.
His eyes met mine - Zeal's - and he smiled. For a moment, the two of us circled each other, and then Talin came at me harder than he ever had before. He caught my hand, but I spun out of it, hooking his leg. Over and over, we traded holds, blocks, and kicks. Sadly, not even Talin was a match for a god, and Zeal quickly dropped him to the sand.
"Engage!" Ghale yelled, and Wraythe surged in.
Zeal was awed at the size of him, but not intimidated. He stepped us to the side and kicked out, but Wraythe had been improving. He was a very large man, but that didn't mean he was slow. His hands grabbed my leg and spun, trying to flip me into the dirt, yet Zeal knew that trick. He kicked out, using the style he'd begun to teach me. Wraythe shoved us off and stepped back to recover, but there was a smile on his lips.
"Show me what a god can do," he mumbled.
And I felt Zeal's rush of pride. I lunged, my aching core no longer a limitation. In the back of my mind, I tried to keep up, but Zeal didn't think or plan what came next. He simply moved, one action flowing into the next as fluidly as if he were dancing. My fist hit Wraythe's shoulder, my leg connected with the back of his knee, and I brought my clasped hands down on his back the moment the man toppled forward.
He went down and the next man moved in: Grath. I could see Wraythe making his way out. From the corner of my eye, I found Talin leaning over the railing, a relaxed smile on his lips. I also saw Grath hesitate two steps away when he realized that the eyes in my face were not gold. I had a feeling they were iridescent, made of all the colors of men, and completely hypnotic to look at.
"My god," the man breathed.
Zeal didn't bother to reply. He wasenjoyingthis. He was also done with being careful. A shove, a grip, and a toss flung Grath over my shoulder and into the sand, triggering the next man. Over and over, Zeal dropped them, not caring about my burning lungs - my weary body of no consequence to him. He just pushed me harder, adding in more impressive moves and faster footwork.
I was desperately trying to keep count. If I was number one, then Talin had been two, Grath was four. Soon enough, I was counting fourteen, then seventeen. The twentieth was a woman, and she managed to get a hit on my jaw, but Zeal didn't even slow. He let my head whip back because his arms were already in motion. With his strength, my body lifted her up just to toss her casually in the soft sand.
Sometimes, Zeal thought,you have to stop worrying about the risks and consequences, Nari. I know your body will pay for this. I also know you can do it. Be sure I will take care of you when it's done. It doesn't matter if you're bruised or a muscle is torn. I can fix those things. I can worry about it later if you just trust me.
I do, I insisted.
Then trust them, he thought.Stop trying to protect them andusethem. They want it as much as you want Ela's hand around your throat. Talin took that blade with pride. Do not fear being bound because of what happened. Do not take that pleasure from them. Wraythe loves to see you like that, and it hurts him to think you don't trust him enough to keep you safe.
