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I nodded. "Yep.The Three.Wraythe is not a pretty man. He's huge, though. Strong, brooding, and terrifying - except to those three. Ela is temptation in male form. Nari? She's Zeal's Chosen, and our god is obsessed with her."
Grath just chuckled. "Can't say I blame him. She's got an appeal to her, and not just the sexual kind."
"It's because she lets you set your own limits, and then she meets them. They made me feel so comfortable with them, and I never realized the rest of my friends weren't like that."
"Tishlie's not understanding?" he asked.
"Nope," I said. "Which leads us right back to the supposed abuse. Tish wants to make sure Nari knows I've been stolen away. Nari knows. Tish, however, thinks it only counts if I'm pawing at her, and I don't paw."
"You don't even sound like you like her," he pointed out.
I just looked over. "I don't. Not anymore. Unfortunately, I learned my lesson about two weeks after this mark appeared on my back."
"So stop letting her hit you," he said.
I just chuckled. "It's called penance, Grath. I'm paying it because temptation has a price, and I've been tempted."
"Or maybe you're hoping that if you abuse yourself enough, Nari will notice? Because she noticed. She's also worried, and that's not how you show her you care."
Yeah, I was done with this conversation. Swinging my arms, I stood and headed toward the weapons rack, but I only made it one step before Grath caught my arm, spinning me around. I turned, but my stance changed out of habit. The man's eyes just slid down, taking in my form.
"You're good. How hard is it to stop yourself from doing that, huh?" Grath asked. "Your first instinct is defense. Your ward is slapping you around for her own kicks, and it's not your kink. What thefuckare you doing, Anver? Trying to make Nari pay because you made the wrong choice?"
"I'm trying to prove that I can take it," I snarled. "Stay out of my business, Grath. I'm doing just fine on my own."
"Sounds to me like you're floundering. All I'm offering is a friend. One who has nothing at all to do with the mess that caused this. I'll even talk to your ward about your lack of sexual interest if you need it. I'm here to fuckinghelp!"
I just scoffed. "Why do you care?"
"Because we're supposed to be on the same fucking side," he snapped. "We should be taking care of each other, because no guardian can do it all on his own. We spend our lives keeping our wards alive, but who does that for us? Each other, that's who."
"Zeal," I told him. "That's who's watching after me, and I happen to have a little faith in the man."
Grath just threw up his hands, letting me go, so I went. Grabbing the heaviest blade I could find, I swung it, testing the feel, then moved toward the sand pit for my turn. I needed to learn. I had to push myself. Zeal wouldn't tell me why, but I knew he expected something, so I'd give him all of it. Every last thing I had.
I still felt bad about snapping at Grath. The guy just wanted to help. Sadly, he had no idea what he was getting in the middle of. The pawns of gods didn't have easy lives, and he sounded pretty happy. The last thing I was willing to do was fuck up his life too.
Chapter 19
Nariana
Jamik was waiting for me after my Obligation course, just like always. The moment I saw him, I couldn't help but smile. Yeah, Oryll had been trying to call me out again today, but I was trying to ignore it. That didn't mean it was necessarily easy. Still, Talin's advice did help. I needed to stop acting like Oryll's student. I was not submissive to him. I was Zeal's fucking Chosen!
If only it were that easy. I'd tried to throw my pride around today, and the man had just glared and given me another "fail." Unfortunately, Jamik seemed to notice that my smile was a little too forced, so he fell in beside me, the pair of us heading to lunch together. Halfway there, he reached up to rub my shoulder, glancing back to see who was around.
"Want to talk about it?" he asked.
"I'm failing Eroticism," I told him, dropping it out there. "Sexual Orientation is only slightly better."
Jamik took that in stride. "Having difficulties in those classes?"
"Yeah, my instructor. Same guy for both: Oryll." I grumbled under my breath. "That man hates me. He thinks failing me will be his easy in. I don't even know if that's true, but it sure fits the way he's acting. No matter what I do, I know my grade is going to be a fair at best, possibly a poor, and most likely a fail. Today, I'm just on the failing side. Tomorrow, I'll barely be on the poor side of passing. My biggest hope right now is to make it through with an overall poor. It's been this way since we came back from the break."
"Then do better," Jamik said. "Do it his way and see if that works?"
"That's what I'vebeentrying," I insisted. "When I'm in Obligation, I do my best to act like that's my Path. When I'm in Protection, I act like a guardian. In my Body courses, I try to act like it's that one."
"Ok..." Jamik steered me to a table in the dining hall. "Then go the other way."
