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"Zeal's nothing but a myth our forefathers made up so we could keep this city running." Kinen huffed in frustration. "Somehow, that bitch has figured out a way to steal the power right out from under me, and I will not lose my place. I don't care about you, Ciella, unless you make my life easier. So how about you stop whining about the other girls in your classes, and start focusing on theone job I gave you!"
A tug on my arm made me look back. Nari and Wraythe were heading the other way up the hall. Anver was halfway between them and us. It was Ela who'd tugged, and a tilt of his head made it clear that we needed to move before they decided to come this way. I did, and Ela kept pace.
When we were back in our hall, we changed direction, taking the long way around to the back exit. It was worth it, because if Kinen was willing to slap Ciella to the ground in the hall, I wouldn't be shocked if he asked all of us to show our lace. The bigger problem was that we had. Often. Usually in our Protection courses.
"How can she not be sure?" Wraythe asked when we were far enough away. "How many people have seen us?"
"She can't be trying to protect us," Anver said. "If it was Tishlie, I might buy that, but only because she'd be hoping for some advantage. Tish is a follower, and she'll befriend whoever seems strongest in her mind."
Then it hit me. "It's because the guardians are on our side," I realized. "Of all the priests who believe in Zeal, how many are guardians?"
"They tend to come first," Nari admitted. "Seeing their desire heal too quickly, knowing they never could've made a block, and those sorts of little miracles feel a lot more important to a guardian because of the nature of your duty."
"Followed by desires," Ela said, "because once our soulmate believes, we tend to. I'd think Obligation would be last."
"I'm not sure what order the others come," Nari admitted. "I just know that the more people talk, the more people are starting to believe again. Once they believe, they can see Zeal, and that makes them want to change things. There's something about seeing him that makes me feel like maybe being a priestess isn't a waste of my life."
"A purpose," Anver agreed. "Yeah, and for those with pairings that aren't as good as ours? I just keep thinking of Ryshie, and how if he could just see Zeal, he might not look so beat-down all the time."
I stepped up to get the door, holding it as they all passed through. "Kinen is willing to murder you, Nari. I don't know if you heard that, but he told Ciella that he doesn't care if she kills you, and I'm not going to fail you again."
There, in the blistering wind whipping against the back of the temple, she turned to face me. "Stop," she demanded. "You have never failed me, Talin. You are not a god, here to make miracles. You're just a man, and a good one. You risk your life for me. You are always there when I need you. Maybe it's not always easy, but none of this is."
"Yeah," I said, "but I'd rather we get further from this temple."
She caught my hand and towed me down the stairs. "Fine, but I mean it. How many times have you told Ela that he doesn't need to be perfect? Just look at your brother to see what unrealistic expectations do to you. He thinks he has to be this straight, dominant man, when he's clearly not. You think you have to be the best priest in the history of Calseth." She pulled me around so I had to face her, stopping again now that we were in the middle of the darkness.
"Nari, you're freezing," I said.
"Listen to me, Talin," she begged. "You're not perfect. I don't want you to be perfect. You also can't be the best priest, because that's my job. Zeal kinda dropped it on my shoulders, and I'm a bit of a fuck-up. So how about we just do our best, love as hard as possible, and stop hating ourselves when we can't meet these unrealistic expectations?"
The snow on the ground picked up the light of the nearly full moon overhead. The fabric of her dress shone in what little light there was. Her skin was pale from so many hours inside, making her look like a sculpture that belonged in the Temple of All Gods. But in all of that, her eyes still shined brightly. Maybe the gold color was muted, but it didn't hide the love and worry as she looked up at me.
"This is me trying to do my best," I promised her. "I am not my brother. I will never be like that. I just feel like I owe you more, and I want to become the kind of man you deserve. Nari, I met a beautiful girl in a cheap inn. I lost myself in her body and found my god in the process. Then I found love when Zeal led me right back to you. I'm just trying to do my best so I don't have to spend a single day without you. I don't care if that's because you get tired of me or die. Either would kill me, so I need to be better."
"Not perfect," she said.
"No, not perfect," I promised.
She caught both sides of my face and stretched up to kiss me. "Good, because I love you just like this. We've been used, betrayed, and pushed around, but so long as we're together, we can make this work."
"I will never betray you," he swore.
Ela had other ideas. "No, but if that's the game they want to play, it's one we're good at."
He, Wraythe and Anver moved closer, the five of us standing in a circle so much like the symbol Zeal had marked us with. One by one, we looked at each other, almost like making a silent vow.
"Things are going to get harder next semester," Anver said. "Kinen's desperate."
"But we're not," Wraythe said. "Fuck them. Let Kinen try to bring us down. Zeal promised Nari that he'd protect her family, and you know what? That's us. That's Maela and Yamina. It's her siblings."
"We're not weak anymore," I realized, a smile growing on my face. "When Kinen decided to betray us, he accidentally changed all the rules. We're Priests of Temptation, so we only answer to the gods. How about we go show the people of Calseth what that means?"
