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"No," I promised. "I honestly have no problem with Ela wanting to spend an evening or night with the guy. All I'm saying is that this made me realize that I couldn't have asked as easily as Ela did. I am in a relationship with you. All four of you. In my mind, that means I need to keep all of my emotions to you. Not my body, but my emotions. The problem is that I like Pey too. I actually like him, and while that doesn't compare to how I feel about any of you, it's an emotion." I paused to lick my lips as my eyes jumped over to Anver. "And this has been a problem before."
"With me," Anver realized. "I liked Tishlie."
"Yeah," I admitted. "I hated that you felt something for her. I was so jealous, because I was no longer the most important thing to you. We always said that we were fine with it, but when it happened, I wasn't fine. So, how do we deal with this?"
"We don't see anyone else?" Wraythe offered.
Talin scoffed at that. "Maybe for you. The problem is that Nari's right. She does like Peyron. That means there's already someone else. For all we know, Ela could like my brother. Now, I'm not going to be a part of that, but if it happens, I'm ok with it. And Wraythe? What would you do if seducing some girl is what it took to save Nari's life?"
"Not really likely," Wraythe countered.
Talin just lifted a brow. "But not impossible. What would you do?"
"It's a session," Anver said. "For Wraythe, it would be a session. He might find women attractive, but he doesn't love them. He doesn't want to fuck them unless he loves them, and he only loves Nari."
"That," Wraythe said, tipping his head at Anver. "He said it perfectly."
"And who knows if you'll meet someone, Talin," I pointed out. "Being my guardian doesn't make you my pet. If you like someone, then why shouldn't you be allowed to act on it?"
"So what are the rules?" Ela asked.
Yeah, that was the problem, because I didn't know. "I'm hoping we can come up with some," I admitted.
"We talk about it before getting pissed - or at least before acting on the anger," Anver suggested.
"No," Talin said. "Well, I mean, that too, but it's not enough." He pressed his lips together and thought hard for a moment. "I think it's the orbit. That thing I mentioned to Ela. We all share our world. Peyron's a moon. We see him sometimes, don't others, and can think he's beautiful. Nari and Ela can laugh about him - "
"And you," Wraythe pointed out.
Talin chuckled. "And me," he agreed. "But Wraythe, you said it perfectly. They are sharing a crush. It's the sharing that means the most. If I'm sharing with Nari, or you're sharing with Ela, or Anver's sharing with one of us, then it's still the sharing. Doesn't mean we have to do the fucking - or not fucking, in Anver's case - together. We're still sharing."
"Moons," I repeated, finally seeing why Talin liked that analogy so much. "So, the five of us are one relationship. We can have crushes in orbit that we keep around with our gravity..." I looked over at Anver to make sure I had all of that right, because astronomy was still an elite field. When he nodded, I kept going. "The five of us can appreciate their beauty. We can enjoy their presence when they're here, and forget about them when they're not. Our crushes can enrich what we have without destroying us in the process, right?"
"I like that," Ela agreed. "I also think Anver's right, though. Talk first. Or at least as soon as possible. Maybe we find a crush in the middle of a session. In that case, talking first wouldn't be possible. So, if we're just open about it..." He looked at each of us as if expecting an answer to the question he didn't finish.
Which was when someone tapped at the door. Wraythe pushed to his feet. "I like that. I think you two are cute when you have a crush. I think that if Talin realizes that it's allowed, he'll be just as cute." He headed towards the door while still talking. "Anver and I can fawn over the three of you being adorable."
I liked that. It sounded simple, I knew it wouldn't be, but I was pretty sure it would work. If nothing else, the permission to admit when I had a crush made the fear of accidentally feeling something vanish. That made me feel even more sure that these four were the perfect men for me.
But around the corner, I could hear Wraythe talking to someone. There was a chuckle, and then the creak of well-used wheels. A moment later, the food cart appeared, making it clear that our dinner was here. And pushing it? That was Drandir, the priest who'd been in charge of upgrading our entire suite.
"Drandir!" I gasped, jumping to my feet and hurrying over.
"Hey," he said just as I slammed into him in the hardest hug I could manage.
"Thank you," I breathed as I pushed my face against his neck. "I love my new home, and it's the best Darkest Night gift I've ever been given. I will never be able to thank you and Obligation enough for this."
He laughed as he gently pried me away. "You are very welcome. Now, I need to get your food laid out before it gets cold. Ati would never forgive me."
"We'll help," Wraythe said as he pointed at the cart.
"The top are all of yours," Drandir assured him even as he grabbed the biggest platter. "And this is a cake. Ati said that she can't get cherries for the cookies you wanted, so she hopes this is good enough."
"It is," I promised. "Obligation is too good to us."
"Most of us," Drandir admitted. "I'm not going to lie. There are a few who think you're a problem. A handful think you're taking advantage of us, but you never ask, so you can't be."
"Actually makes me feel a little better," Talin said, sounding like that was supposed to be to himself.
