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"You can't," I told him. "If we're sneaking outside, then Kinen would definitely wonder what's going on. It wouldn't be hard to convince Tishlie to follow me, and since she's my ward..."
Talin grumbled under his breath. "So take Wraythe."
"I have to go alone," I told them all, looking at each one. "I just didn't want you to wonder where I was running off to and think I was going behind your back."
Ela reached over to rub my knee. "We wouldn't. We'd be worried about you, but not that you'd betray us. More that someone might cause problems for you."
I reached up to wrap my fingers around his, enjoying how amazingly easy this was. "My only problem is that Zeal seemed worried. I don't know why, and he couldn't really explain it to me, but he made it clear that if anything happened, he'd find a way to get into the other temples." I looked down at where Ela's fingers had wrapped so gently around mine. "I told him to send all of you instead. He keeps talking about spending his divinity, or using it. I don't know, but that doesn't sound like a good thing to me."
"I don't think it is," Nari agreed. "If their existence is measured in real or imagined, then what happens if they have no divinity left? Would he die? Be forgotten? Become human?"
"I don't want any of those for him," I admitted. "Nari, I know that you and Zeal are close, but he's..." I paused, because there was that word again. "He's my best friend, but that word isn't enough anymore. Not for any of you. Not for him. It's... You're..."
"More," Wraythe finished for me. "You and Talin aren't my lovers, but I don't know what else to call you. Brothers doesnotfit."
"Partners is for working together," I added, since it was what I'd come up with earlier.
"And we work together," Talin countered. "We are all on the Path of Temptation. Zeal gave us all of them, and we are bound. We are guardians to each other, wards, and also partners. Yes, we're friends, but that word is used too easily. Lovers isn't right, because of Wraythe."
"And me," I added.
Talin looked up and a little curl twisted his lips. "Well, I mean, I'm not opposed to you curling up against me so Ela can grope Wraythe a little more."
I wanted to remind him that I still wasn't into sex, but he knew that. He also didn't care, andIknew that. I really did, but reminding people had become a very bad habit. It was a way to keep my distance so I could make sure I didn't let someone down and get hurt again. Unfortunately, it wasn't an easy one to forget.
"I, uh, don't do well making the first move," I told him. "I keep thinking that I'm going to lead someone on, and while I know better, it…"
"No, I understand," Talin promised. "You get so used to bracing for people to react a certain way that when they don't, you aren't sure what to do anymore." He leaned over his knees and clasped his hands together. "For me, it was people wanting to get friendly with the Ranndor tithe. For you, it's this. So if you need us to push, we'll push. If you need us to come running to another temple, I give you my word that we will tear the place down for you."
That man's eyes were so amazingly blue. His words made my heart stop and my face heat up, but his eyes felt like something to hold on to - even if that was just with my own gaze.
"He calls me the Shadow," I said, refusing to look away. "Zeal, I mean. He says I'm the Shadow, so I think that's why I have to do this. I also have a feeling that the gods are going to need more help than I can give."
"They need faith," Nari told me. "You can see them, so you believe, but one is not enough. Especially not when you aren't living in their temple, able to be near them as much as they need. But there's no reason you can't convince someone that they're real."
"How?" I asked.
She pushed out a heavy breath. "Savi told me something about Rebexa that no one else should know. That seemed to work. Others are so close that they just need someone to assure them that it's true. That they aren't insane, the gods are real, and this is actually happening. Usually, it's just explaining that they never left, they were just forgotten, and then people start to look for them again. That leads to belief."
"But I'm not you," I reminded her. "I'm not some beautiful woman with charm and confidence. I'm just - "
"A beautiful man," Ela cut in. "A very handsome one, trained to protect, who stands beside Zeal's Chosen, the woman who is descended from the first priestess. You're the man who calls a god his best friend, who was granted the sight because you were willing to fight for them all. If that's not something to give you a little confidence, Anver, then Tishlie did a lot more to you than you've told us about."
"So you all really think I can do this?" I asked.
Surprisingly, it was Wraythe who answered. "I think Zeal gave you the job for a reason. I think he has a way of knowing what's needed and who is the best for it. So yeah, I think you're probably the best one for it."
"And if you need help," Nari told him, "we will find a way to help. Even if that's just someone hanging out with you every so often, or coming up with a plan to do what they need. All of you helped me when I needed it - even you."
"Just don't let them push you around," Ela warned. "They're gods, and they won't be used to people yet. Zeal's learned, but I remember when he first became visible. He was..."
"Different," I finished for him, understanding exactly what he meant. "It was like he didn't understand people very well. Lately, he's become more, I dunno, human?"
"Or at least he fakes it better," Talin said. "I also have a feeling that he'll be able to hear your prayers even if you're not in his temple. So, if you aren't coming home for a while, maybe let us know? Nari won't sleep if you aren't back."
"Or you," Wraythe mumbled in a way that was clearly meant to be overheard.
"Or any of us," Ela said. "And I'll be honest. I don't like you going to another temple on your own. Maybe that's because we've been trained that we do nothing without our guardian at our back, but I can see why Zeal's worried. He doesn't know how the other temples are right now. I mean, there's clearly something going on."
