Page 164 of Stepbrothers' Darling


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Chapter Sixty Three

Blair

Facing the window with the sheets pulled up to my chin, I release a heavy sigh. I close my eyes for a moment, knowing I need to pull myself together. The guys are worried.

He’s dead, for fuck’s sake, and the police officer was arrested. It’s over.

So why am I so fucking sad? And angry? And worried?

My emotions are all too much, and I don’t even know why. It’s like I’m falling apart, but that’s stupid, right?

The door cracks open, and I flinch, expecting Cyrus, Bray, or Asher. They keep checking on me, clearly wanting to help, but I don’t know how they can. “I’m fine.”

“No, you’re fucking not.” Faye snorts, and I hear the door shut as I sit up in surprise.

“They let you in their fortress of solitude?” I joke as she sits on the bed, watching me with the same worried eyes they give me.

“They made an exception this once.” She winks. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I reply automatically.

“Liar.” She grins and takes my hand. “Talk to me, babe, or let me find someone you can open up to. You can’t keep this inside.”

“I’m fine, I just... Fuck, I don’t know, Faye. I’m not fine, but I don’t know why. It’s so stupid!” I yell, throwing my hands up and slumping back against the headboard.

“Babe, did you ever consider that you have been in survival mode all this time? Since the first incident happened, you haven’t stopped, haven’t let yourself just... feel, grieve, or allow your emotions out. Maybe now that you know it’s over for sure, they are all coming to the surface, and since you held them back for so long, they are powerful. You need to break to be put back together, and then move on, otherwise you’ll never get any better. You’ll never truly let go of what happened, and you need to. You need to accept it, talk about it, be sad, be angry, be fucking terrified if you need to. It’s time to let it all go, Blair. It’s time to leave it all behind. You have three men who love you, an amazing best friend, if I do say so myself, an incredible job, and everything to look forward to. But how could you be excited while you’re still living in the past?”

“When did you get so smart?” I groan, flipping onto my back. “I know they are worried. I couldn’t even begin to explain to them what’s wrong because I don’t know, I really don’t. I just feel...”

“Confused? Everything? Not surprising. Healing isn’t a straight line, babe, but it starts here. Talk to me, we can do it together, and when you’re ready, they will listen too. They will do anything for you, and you for them. You survived, Blair, you all did. You are okay.”

I don’t know why, but hearing it from her lips finally makes me explode. I cry, and my emotions burst out of me like a dam.

“Oh, babe.” She pulls me into her arms and holds me as I sob into her shoulder, the force racking my body. It’s not for Meredith this time, or Lucas and my friends, but for me.

From what I went through.

And when it’s over later, I know she was right.

I feel better, cleansed.

I’ll never be the same girl as I was before, but that’s okay. I’ve survived a lot, I’ve lost a lot, but I’ve also gained a lot, and now it’s time to finally live again.

* * *

A few weeks pass, and we start to heal together, spending our time sorting everything. I return to work, and even though the guys hate it, they support it. It does mean they follow me everywhere, though, continually. I mean continually. I can’t escape them. It seems I’m not the only one healing from our brush with death. Puckering my lips, I finish up my red lipstick and blow myself a kiss in the bathroom mirror. I decided to do my makeup for work today at home.

Looking behind me, I spot Asher lingering in the doorway, watching me in my tight shorts and tank top. “Are you sure you can’t stay?” he flirts.

“No, stay back. I can’t be late again.” I grin, laughing as he steps inside, picks me up, and sits me on the counter, stroking my face as he watches me lovingly.

“Fine. We won’t be there tonight, we have something to do, but Jay is coming—”

“I’m fine—”

He covers my mouth, grinning. “Get over it.”

Grumbling, I pull my head back. “Fine, but you know you can’t watch me every minute of every day.”

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