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I don’t know how she knows it’s me, well, maybe it’s the fact I’m always breaking into her room and sleeping in her bed or stealing her underwear, but damn she’s smart. Ignoring her, I jump on her bed like normal before scooting under the covers. I tuck my arm under my head as I stare up at the ceiling. She flips and glares at me, lifting her head. Her face is bare of her usual makeup, and she looks so much younger... softer. Vulnerable. Her eyes are red, but she isn’t crying.
Turning my head farther, I meet her eyes. “You look beautiful with makeup, and you look beautiful without it too,” I murmur.
She smiles for a second before it melts away. “Bray,” she warns.
I roll onto my side, mirroring how she’s lying, and now there are only inches between us. In the dark room, it seems so much more intimate. Her breath hitches as I run my eyes across her face.
I lower my voice, and it almost comes out hushed as I prompt, “Yes, cutie?”
“Get out,” she mutters wearily.
I ignore that and the exhaustion in her tone and focus on the vulnerability in her eyes—the one she’s trying to hide from everyone. It’s the same sense of helplessness that fills me at night as I lie alone in my bed; the one I cover with drugs, booze, and girls. The one I do anything to forget. I act all tough, but underneath, I’m just as scared, fucked up, and vulnerable as the girl before me.
Maybe that’s why I’m here in her bed, because I know what it means to need someone but to be completely alone. To lie in bed at night with tears in your eyes and pain in your heart, needing to scream, to rage, and let it out, but instead, you just lie there completely still, as if you do, it will all disappear.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
Her head jerks back like she wasn’t expecting that, and her lips part slightly, but no words come out for a second. She swallows and looks away, and I know whatever leaves her mouth will be a lie. You get so used to pushing people away, to lying to protect yourself and others, that it becomes second nature because usually when people ask if you’re okay, they really don’t want the truth. It’s inconvenient for them, especially when talking to men. I learned that early on. We are supposed to be tough and emotionless, which is something I’ve always struggled with. I’m not supposed to cry, it’s not manly. I’m not supposed to hurt or worry, it makes me weak.
Less of a man.
I’m betting Blair has been told nearly the same thing her whole life. Others’ actions and responses only hammer it home that no one gives a fuck about you. For me, I have Cyrus and Asher though... they understand. They are there for me at the darkest times.
Who is there for her?
“I’m fine.” She looks back at me as I stare at her in response, waiting, and she rolls her eyes. “I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks,” she snaps, her tone hardening like it will push me away. Like the venom and anger in her voice will make me leave. Is that what she’s used to? I live with Cyrus, so she’s going to have to try harder than that.
“Sure you don’t, Blair,” I tease and stroke her face. She leans into it for a moment before shaking off my touch.
“What does that mean?” she demands, her eyes firing at me. Her attitude hardens my cock, even when she’s at her lowest.
“It means, Blair,” I murmur and lean in, almost touching our lips together, “you act all tough, but I saw your face when Cy said all that shit. Your mum too. You care, Blair, probably more deeply than anyone, which is why you hide it and conceal these feelings, because it only leads to being hurt and you are tired of it. It’s your biggest secret. You’re not the tough bitch you project. Inside, you’re all soft, but it’s marred, scarred, from how others treat you.”
“Stop,” she begs.
“You feel so deeply, babe. I see it in your eyes. You care too much, and with such a big heart, all it leads to is pain... I know. Don’t you see we’re the same?” The dark captures our whispers, and the bed is our sanctuary as I admit my darkest secret to her, letting her see past the jokes and flirting to the man who hides underneath. “I’ve had my heart broken so much it just became easier to pretend I didn’t have one... and then you came along.”
“Bray,” she implores desperately, her eyes flickering from mine to my lips, which are almost on hers, before she closes her eyelids. “Stop.”
“For now,” I concede. “But we both know this is only the beginning, stepsister,” I tease and pull away.
She shivers, sucking in air, even as I hide my own vulnerability at being so near to her and seeing that pain and beauty up close.
“One day, you’ll figure out you can’t do this alone. You might hate us and push us away, but we’re all you have right now. This might have started out as a joke, stepsister, but you aren’t going anywhere, and neither are we.” I slip from the bed, leaving her to her thoughts and demons, but before I can take a step, her small voice fills the air.
“Don’t go.” Both words are hoarse, as if dragged from the very depths of her soul.
It’s a plea. I know if I ignore it, if I make a joke now, she will never open up to me again. I would be just another man, another face who used her, hurt her. Turning, I meet her eyes as she sits up nervously.
“I hate sleeping. I have nightmares all night... Stay. Don’t go.”
Without a word, I get back into bed. She turns, giving me her back, and with a chuckle, I slip closer, wrapping my arms around her and twining our legs. She stiffens before softening as I nuzzle into her neck, just holding her. We are both quiet, unsure what to say. This is the first time I’ve slept in a bed with someone other than my brothers, but it feels... right. All my own dark thoughts disappear with each inhale of her scent, and each rise and fall of her chest. Her steady heartbeat grounds me, and her warmth relaxes me like nothing else, even as my cock throbs from being pressed against that fucking perfect ass. But I ignore it. This is about so much more than sex.
This is about comfort.
“Tomorrow I’ll go back to hating you, you know that, right?” she whispers, making me grin even as I kiss her shoulder.
“You can try, but we both know you only hate us so much because you want us,” I murmur, closing my eyes.
