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“It’s not like that. Look, your mom confided in me about certain things, and Draven knew too. The whole guild did. That’s why I knew they wouldn’t hurt your mom.”
“What things?”
“Do you truly think Sebastian”—he spat his name—“is taking care of you out of the goodness of his own heart? His reputation precedes him, Olivia.”
“I’m not stupid. I know he wants something, but he is my only option here because of the situation you put me in.”
He glanced down, then his gaze slowly climbed back to meet mine. “I haven’t told the order that you’re here,” he said slowly. “I even got Gwen to believe you are an old friend, nothing more.”
“Am I supposed to be grateful?”
“I do still love you. I won’t tell them.”
I scoffed, then let a laugh slowly grow. “If this is how you treat the people you supposedly love, then you’re far more fucked up than I ever realized.” Rage blinded everything, but I tried to calm my breathing enough to follow my train of thought. “You said my mom confided something in you. What was it?”
“Your father, he’s a vampire.”
“That’s the big reveal? I already know.”
“You know who he is?”
“Well, no.” I mulled over what Sebastian had told me. “But I know he’s here, in the city.”
His lips pinched together. “That’s not the only thing. But, before I tell you, I want you to know I never planned on handing you over, but you’re right. The leaders of Nightshade want you dead. They hid that from me, but I soon caught on.” He tried to hold my hand, but I backed away, giving him pause. “I will keep your secret of where you are because despite what you think, I care about you.”
“That only makes it worse, Astor. It makes this so much harder. You stole everything from me, including my grief. Now I don’t know what to do with myself because I’m still mourning you, but now it’s different, and it’s mixed with hate. I never wanted to feel that way about you.” Tears fell thick and fast. “You were meant to be the one who could heal my heart, not break it,” I said, rubbing my nose against the back of my sleeve. “So go ahead, keep my location a secret. It’s the least you can do because I can’t imagine how it must feel to walk around with the heaviness bearing from what you have done. When you take away people’s lives like that, it comes with a price.” I bared my teeth. “One you will pay, sooner or later.”
“You once told me everyone is redeemable.” His pleading eyes searched mine.
“That was before you showed me what a monster really looks like.”
His jaw clenched, the taut muscles under his loose top stiffening as he inhaled slowly. “I just didn’t want to die.”
That hit me like a punch to the gut, but I ignored the spark of desire to hold him, to tell him it was okay. For the death of me, that need to comfort him was still there, and I despised him for ruining it. “Tell me the truth, Astor,” I finally ordered, knowing I’d said all that could be said. “What’s the big secret?”
A whoosh of air spindled cold into my left side. I blinked, turned, and saw Sebastian at my side. “It’s time for you to go.”
“Not yet,” I argued. “He was about to tell me something.”
Something dark churned in Sebastian’s eyes, and intrusiveness swam to the surface of those bottomless pits. Astor’s breath caught when his expression hardened. “He’s lying to win your forgiveness. Don’t listen to a word from this coward.”
Astor looked from Sebastian to me, then exhaled sharply. “I should go.”
“No.” My eyes widened. I stepped out of the door as he turned. “Astor, tell me.”
“Sebastian’s right. I was lying.”
“I don’t believe you,” I shouted. He gave me one last look, then disappeared into the early morning blackness. I turned on my heel, a scowl lacing my words. “You!” I slammed a finger into Sebastian’s chest. “He wasn’t lying. I can always tell when he is.”
“Because you know him so well?” His amused scowl only made his face all that more punchable.
“You’re all keeping something from me. What he said confirmed it. I swear, I will find out the truth.”
He pointed into the night. “Hedoesn’t care about you. Some things are better left in the shadows, Olivia. Trust me.”
“Fuck you, Sebastian.” I attempted to push him into the doorway. He didn’t move, but it felt good to let my anger out. “I’m going to my room. I suggest you leave me alone, or I’ll find a way to use my powers and make you.”
I stormed up the staircase, pausing at the top to look over my shoulder, but Sebastian was already gone. I stared down into the foyer for a long minute, lost in my thoughts before I climbed the rest of the steps.
