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My stomach churned as I pictured the man who helped give me life. I’d always wanted a father and longed to meet him until I eventually gave up asking who he was. Now, I wish I’d never found out.
“Sebastian,” I said slowly, my words aching. For the first time since coming here, I might have felt slightly bad for him. “I don’t want to become queen. I appreciate you telling me the truth, and it is kind of amazing to know my bloodline was chosen by the gods.” That was the only part that filled me up a little. “But I don’t want this.”
“Even if you become the princess, you would still have the ability,” he explained. “You just need to take your place in the royal bloodline. Becoming queen would be easier without Sargon in the way, and you really could make changes with that power. You’d only need the right advisor to help you understand the inner workings of Sanmorte politics.”
“Don’t you realize what you’re asking?” I asked incredulously. “For me to take your place as a vampire and to give up the chance to ever become mortal again.”
He shuddered. “No, that’s not what I meant.”
“Yes, it is. I’m sorry, but I won’t give up being mortal. If this is your big plan for me and the only reason you’re helping, then you may as well hand me over to him now. Maybe ask him for your mortality in exchange.” I stood, my hands shaking. The only reason he hadn’t handed me over was to ensure I would give him what he wanted first. This was his way of striking a deal, but there was no chance I’d allow anyone to turn me into a vampire with no way of going back.
“If you don’t want this, then I will take you back to Baldoria tonight. It won’t be safe, and you’ll have to go on the run. But I won’t hand you over, and I will not force you to stay here. I may be many things, but I’m not a monster.” I scratched the side of my neck, and he continued. “I just want you to consider what you’re giving up. You’ve spent your whole life being lied to and feeling powerless. Don’t pretend otherwise. I’ve seen it, and you don’t even feel confident enough in your powers to use them. You wouldn’t miss them.”
Ouch.
But it was true.
“You could save your mom and put a stop to the blood dens and auctions. Just think about it. It’s not an accident that you’ve returned to Sanmorte just a year and a half before you turn twenty-one. Some destinies belong to the shadows, Olivia, and yours always has. If you decide to follow it, all I ask is to grant me the mortality your father refuses. If you do, I will help you, in any way, to get it and retrieve your mother too.”
I turned on my heel, heading to the door. “This is a lot. I can’t just…. I need time to think,” I spluttered, my thoughts racing as the history of a place I was chosen to inherit played out in my mind. What he was asking for me was no small feat, and although he’d finally been honest with me about what he desired from all this, I didn’t expect to hurt this much.
SIXTEEN
I stared at my star-kissed gown, billowing out at my knees, as Erianna and I prepared to leave for the royal castle. Erianna was right. I could still have the life I wanted on my terms. Only, she didn’t know that I was lying to them all to have it.
Sebastian had been more than open to believing that I was on board with their plan to sneak me into the castle under the guise of his wife-to-be and place me on the throne as queen. We’d gone over the details this morning after I explained I’d thought about it overnight and was willing to accept if only to protect my mom and hopefully Draven, if gods willing, he was still alive.
Despite my mom hiding the truth from me, I wasn’t mad, not after spending the night thinking about how she was just trying to protect me from them. She’d dedicated her life to the cause, and now it was my turn to save her.
Agreeing to become queen was more manageable than saying I’d agree to become the princess, so Sebastian wouldn’t immediately tell Sargon who I was.
However, Erianna confided in me that the king would likely arrest them all for not telling him who I was straight away, so the plot to make me queen instead worked in everyone’s favor, especially mine. It allowed me to conceal my identity while ensuring their help to find my mom, and Draven if he was there, then escape before anything irreversible could happen.
Pressing my fingers to my neck, thinking about the alternative future where I could have become one of them floated into my mind, consuming me in a blood-hazed daydream.
Erianna snapped her fingers, and I shook my head as if to scatter my thoughts. “You’ll need to make them believe it,” she said for the seventh time between this morning and sun-kissed dusk. “They’re allowing you and Sebastian to visit the castle to ask for the king’s permission.”
I rolled my eyes. “How archaic.”
“You can’t have that attitude there,” she warned, worry lines deepening around her Cupid’s bow lips. “But yes, I agree.”
“Why are they allowing you to come?”
“I’m hired by his majesty to hunt criminals in the city and bring them in for questioning, so my appearance at the royal court is hardly suspicious. I go there every so often to brush up on my combat skills.” Her fingers flexed to the dagger in her waistband, and everything fell into place. She fit the role of hunter well, with her sharp reflexes and take-no-shit attitude.
“What about Zach and Anna?”
“Zach’s welcome at court whenever he likes. He’s been a part of the king’s military for eighty years. He has special dispensation to remain in the city.” Unzipping a bag, a dress was revealed, looking as if it belonged to the night with its sheer, flowing whites running over a deep, navy blue with silver embroidery. “You’ll wear this tomorrow when you meet Sargon.”
My head spun. Tomorrow I would meet my dad for the first time and possibly see my mom for the first time in weeks. It felt so unreal. I had to pinch myself to ensure this wasn’t some melatonin-induced fever dream. “It’s pretty.”
“Sebastian knows the best dressmakers in the city.”
“Of course he does.”
I was glad she was coming with me, and although she was loyal to Sebastian, I hoped she would help me when the time came for me to escape. He was her friend, but she was mine too. “Why are you helping Sebastian? It’s not like you’re getting anything out of this.”
Her dark brows pulled together, and she placed a hand on her hip. “What makes you think I want anything? He’s my family, Olivia. I vowed to protect him when I found him broken and ready to give up. I’ve seen the goodness in his heart, although I’m sure he likes to pretend it’s not there. If there’s a chance for his happiness, I’m going to fight to get it for him.”
