AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You should take that shower. I’m going to bed soon.”
I pursed my lips, rolling my eyes at his inability to open up about her. Talking about the deep pain inside helped sometimes. I knew that and missed having my mom or Astor to open up to. Well, the old version of Astor anyway. Not the new, monstrous update of him. I grabbed a towel and closed the door on Sebastian, who waited until I was gone to fully undress.
I lay next to him, stiff as a board, not daring to move. Night had come too quickly, bringing with it the promise of a new day, one that had my stomach in knots.
Sebastian switched the lamp off, shrouding us in darkness. In the end, I’d decided the bed was comfier than the floor.
The bed dipped as the covers tugged his direction. In the pale moonlight, which swept through the voiles, I could just make out the silhouette of his bare chest and muscular shoulders. I turned, draping the blanket over my arms and breasts up to my neck. I hadn’t shared a bed with anyone since Astor. It felt strange, mainly because I’d vowed never to sleep next to another ever again when I found out he died. Except he didn’t, and what I had with Sebastian wasn’t real.
Life had taken so many unexpected turns in the past month. First, I could never have thought to find myself in another kingdom, a princess, fake-engaged to a vampire, while trying to find my mom, who’s been captured by her ex-husband. It sounded so unbelievable that I would have laughed at the very concept if I wasn't living it.
Curling against the sheets, I moved onto my left side, kicking one leg out of the blanket, enjoying the warmth under the covers with the cold on my foot and calf. Astor unwantedly entered my thoughts again, spiking anxiety through me. Would he tell anyone the truth once his belief he still loved me wore away? I was certain Gwen wasn’t the type to give up until she got to the bottom of something, and she didn’t come across as stupid to me. She knew there was more to what we were saying.
I was tossing and turning again when Sebastian let out a long exhale. “It’s like trying to sleep next to a tornado.”
“I can’t sleep.”
“Have you tried?”
“Not really, but it’s pointless. My mind is spinning.”
He moved slowly to face me. “Come on then, what’s up?”
“You mean you actually want to listen to me for once?”
“For once?” He let out a low chuckle. “I don’t think you realize how much you talk.”
I scowled at him, hoping he could see.
He propped his head against his palm. “If it means we can get some sleep before the sun comes up, then I’m all ears.”
I turned onto my back, staring up at the shadows of the room cast against the moonlit ceiling. “I can’t stop thinking about Astor.”
“Just what every man wants to hear when he’s sharing a bed with a woman.”
I knew he was joking, but I couldn’t bring myself to laugh. “I haven’t shared a room with anyone since him. It’s like he stole an entire chapter of my life. So much of who I was revolved around him. Every day he would come back from the guild, most evenings, he’d stay with me. My mom used to joke he’d have to start paying rent because he stayed over so often. Without him, I don’t know what to do half the time. I’m still grieving someone who isn’t even dead,” I admitted.
He paused. “I don’t know how that feels, but your life should have never revolved around another person.”
“It just happened. I was supposed to start a writing course, but I gave it up because else I would have had to move, and Astor needed me. He had a lot of problems with the people he worked with.” I smiled at the memory of Draven and him arguing. It felt so normal to place myself back in that time. “He didn’t get along with my best friend.”
“When was the last time you wrote anything?”
I closed my eyes, trying to recall. “Before Astor died, I would write during the day when he was working. It was an escape. I only wrote for myself. I never intended for anyone to read it.”
“What did you write?”
“Fantasy, love stories, and poetry. But I haven’t felt like writing since then.”
“It’ll come back,” he said.
“Yeah, maybe.”
A long pause had me listening to every breath in the room. “You’re better than him, Olivia, and he knows that. You’ll find yourself again. It will just take time. He wanted you to depend on him before. It’s why he never challenged you to grow.”
“You can’t know that!” I defended.
“I’m taking a stab in the dark, but going by what you’ve said about him, I doubt I’m wrong.”
