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Sebastian believed I could do it, for whatever reason, and perhaps he was right. I’d always thought I was damaged somehow, and that’s why my powers didn’t work. I recalled Laveniuess’s lake and what Sebastian and I had spoken about. Laveniuess believed embracing the darkest parts of ourselves was the key to becoming the best version of who we are. His energy was still inside me from my last visit to the lake.
Maybe what I really needed was to embrace the shadows I hid from. With a deep breath, I acknowledged the fear that came with feeling others’ emotions and how I was afraid of not being enough. As the thoughts circled, the magic untangled, becoming easier to manipulate with each breath.
I lowered the barrier, allowing the emotions and energy of the surrounding rooms. The pain Sebastian felt resonated in the room, matching my own. They danced together in the darkness, only recognizing each other. I allowed the grief to fill me up, knowing it was okay to be scared.
Magic spiraled through me, rolling in waves as my heart rate elevated and adrenaline spiked. I smiled until I heard the crack of the window and glass splaying outward, all over the floor. I steadied myself as the rest of the shards disappeared into the walkway below, and Sebastian flew into the room, naked, and pulled me back.
TWENTY
“What happened?” His wide eyes searched mine. Slashes covered my hands, blood speckled my arms and my dress.
“I did it,” I announced, shaking my head. “I think I just used my powers.” I looked at my hands and over to the window. “Shit, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He sat me down, and I couldn’t help but see him in all his nakedness in my peripheral vision, my fist pressing into my thigh when I saw his enormous length. Unexpectedly, warmth gathered between my legs as I imagined him on top of me.
“See something you like?” he teased, and I let out a strangled laugh. “I’ll put something on. Wouldn’t want to distract you.”
I touched the heat creeping up the back of my neck. “I-it doesn’t, I mean, why would I…” I rubbed my forehead as I stumbled for the right words. What the hell was I doing?
He sped away, grabbed a towel, and wrapped it around his waist. I shook my head, scattering those unwanted thoughts. I refocused my attention to the window, glad for the cold air that whooshed inside, cooling me.
“How did you do it?” he asked from the bathroom.
“I used Laveniuess’s energy to heighten my own by opening myself up,” I said, looking at the floor which glittered with glass.
“How do you mean?”
“Normally, I refrain from lowering the barrier I’d learned to build to protect myself from feeling everyone’s emotions, except on rare occasions, but this time I let it all in. Even when I lower it, I’m cautious, mostly because I know how quickly everyone else’s energy can affect my own, but it was different this time. Laveniuess was guiding me.”
He sat at my side, taking my hand. “That’s good, but next time you practice your magic, we can do it outside.”
I licked my lips. “I’m sorry about the blood.”
“Why? I’m able to control myself.” He lifted my finger to his lips and gently kissed away a drop of blood. “Here.” I squirmed as he grabbed a shard of glass and cut it into his wrist. He’d lost his fucking mind. “Drink.”
I flinched back. “No.”
“You won’t turn into a vampire on a small amount. It’ll heal you quicker than if you don’t. You don’t want to be walking around this castle smelling of blood.”
“I thought you could all control yourselves.”
“We can, but most don’t want to.”
I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling the sting of the air against my cuts. Hesitantly, I eyed the cut and saw it was already healing. He reopened it with the glass, and I cringed. “I’m not doing that again,” he said, and I leaned in closer.
My lips surrounded the wound, and his blood seeped into my mouth. I tried not to gag as the thick, metallic liquid hit the back of my throat. There was something different about his blood when compared to the times I’d quickly sucked the blood from a paper cut on my fingers. His had a cloying aftertaste that clung to my teeth. I pulled back, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. I couldn’t look him in the eyes. That was, by far, the weirdest thing I’d ever shared with another person.
“They’re healing already.”
The gashes slowly closed, the skin knitting together in front of my eyes like magic. “That’s so strange.”
“You should get used to it. You’ll heal without my blood soon enough.”
I forced a smile but let out a heavy breath. He was speaking of my becoming a vampire, something I had no plans on doing, but I couldn’t let him know that. It was the only reason he was helping me.
“I should shower,” I exclaimed, looking at the dry blood. “What should we do about the window?”
“I’ll have someone come and sort it. We might need to move to another room. Go take your shower.” He gestured to the bathroom. He hadn’t even finished his own, but he was already drying his hair before I could say anything. I stepped into the bathroom, feeling my magic tingling under the surface. Despite the window and blood, I couldn’t help but smile. For the first time in years, I could use my powers properly.
