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His eyes widened. The sheets clung to his bare chest, his arms tensing, bulging his muscles. “What did I do?”
I gritted my teeth, the anger spilling out of me like venom. It was all I could feel now, as it swirled unexpectedly. “Did you enjoy fucking Gwen?”
He blinked twice, his lips jaw slacking. “I… Okay.” He leaned forward, pressing his fingers against his forehead. “I didn’t fuck her, but yes, we did some things,” he admitted, and the monster in my chest growled, clawing from the inside to be unleashed.
Reason fell away to rage, and even though I knew he wasn’t with me when it happened, and we had no commitment then, I still couldn’t shake the hatred, the disappointment.
“Great. Well, enjoy fucking her because you sure as hell won’t be fucking me.”
He side-eyed me. “I didn’t know fucking you was on the table.”
I balled my fists. “Seriously? I can’t….”
“You’re going through a lot,” he said carefully, swallowing whatever sarcastic remark he wanted to say. “Now is not the time to talk about this.”
I placed a hand on my hip, wrinkling my night dress. “But I want to talk now.”
“Fine.” He stretched out his wings, sweeping a couple of pillows onto the ground, and lay back. “Gwen came to me in the dungeons right before I was supposed to be executed. She wanted to…” He paused, slowing his tone. “Go down on me. I needed to feel something. I was about to die, so I let her. Had I known your feelings for me then—”
“Feelings?” I cut him off, heat rising in my cheeks. “I don’t have feelings.”
He pressed his lips tight, a whisper of a smile on his mouth. “Then why do you care about what happened with Gwen?”
I froze, my heart picking up speed, a tell I hated he could hear. “It’s just, well, she’s here and Astor left me for her. So, that’s why I’m mad.”
“So, if it was anyone else, you wouldn’t care?”
Jealousy tugged at my heart, and I wished I could say no. I wanted to say no. “What does it matter? You don’t care anyway.”
“Are you serious?” His jaw clenched, and he sat back up, tucking his wings behind his back. “Do you really think I would spend my nights holding anyone if I didn’t give a fuck about them? That I would sacrifice myself to protect them? I gave you up in the dungeons to save you. I never thought I would be given anything as a reward! I accepted my fate, and I didn’t know why then, but I liked you. I didn’t want to, yet here I am, your husband, unwilling to let you go. I tried telling you how I felt a few days ago, because when I heard you say you loved me, my heart stopped,” he said, wild-eyed. “I could feel your heartache over Draven, and all I wanted to do was destroy anyone who ever made you feel pain. Tell me why that is?”
I stuttered for words, my breath hitching. Bravery was never really my thing; I usually shrank into the shadows or kept quiet, but today I felt it. The spark of courage as I asked the words I really wanted to know. “Do you believe I’m your soulmate?”
“Yes,” he admitted, and stared deep into my eyes. “More than that, Iwantyou to be.”
I swallowed hard, trying to remove the lump in my throat. Butterflies erupted in the pit of my stomach, dizzying me. The anger, even the grief, was smothered for a moment when I looked into Sebastian’s eyes. They were the color of night, with flecks of silver like stars, reminding me of when he’d flown us to the Lake of Laveniuess that night and I’d seen the beauty in him for the first time. Maybe I knew it then, that undeniable pull I kept denying, refusing to think of it as anything more than just physical attraction.
“I want you to be, too,” I said, and his eyes lit up.
“Then come here,” he said, pulling me to him.
His kiss was gentle at first, aching against me with urgency. Feather light touches from his lips sent tingles through my torso, and down between my legs. His fingers were in my hair before I could take a breath, his lips crashing against mine. A groan grumbled from his chest, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, forgetting everything as I lost myself to him. I wanted a break from the pain I felt—to find anything to hold onto. Suddenly, I just wanted to be close to him, in every way. Even if it didn’t make sense.
“I want to do something,” I said slowly, and pressed my hand against his chest, lying him against the bed, climbing on top of him.
“Anything, my love.”
The words tugged at my heart, and I kissed his lips, then his neck, moving down with each kiss until I reached his stomach.
I unbuttoned his pants, then yanked them to his knees, smirking as the bulge in his underwear hardened. Licking my lips, I looked him straight in his eyes, desire building in the pit of my stomach. He was mine, and I was his, and anyone before now didn’t matter. I wanted to feel every part of him, to be consumed in his love until I couldn’t feel anything else, a welcome distraction. Slowly, I stripped him from the bottom down.
Lowering my mouth to his dick, I pressed my lips against the tip, enjoying the way it twitched against me. I placed a hand around his length, stroking slowly as I opened my mouth. His lips parted as I ran my tongue over the head of his cock, applying gentle suction, swirling around until I felt the satisfying thrust of his hips. Only allowing half of him into my mouth, I guided my tongue down, teasing him.
His fingers gripped the blankets. “Fuck,” he gasped as I took it all in and hardened in my mouth.
Licking the base of his length while deep in my mouth, he touched the back of my throat as it enveloped him in the warm wetness. I moved back up slowly, moaning softly with each suck.
Adding pressure with my fingers, I took the bottom of his length in my hand, stroking as I moaned a vibration around his dick. His wings flew outward, followed by rhythmic, deep grunts, his ass rocking against the bed, fingers gripping into mine.
