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I furrowed my brows, feeling the rage creep up to the surface again. “I care for them, and as for Sebastian, I love him. He’s my soulmate, and I will never leave him.” I licked my lips as I watched her jaw slacked. I continued breathily. “I’m devastated my best friend is dead. Believe me, I will ensure that Kalon pays for his sins with blood. But leave here? Never. My fate is sealed, and the gods want me on this throne.” My stomach knotted as I realized there was nothing left for me back in Baldoria even if I could return.
The guild I knew were gone, my mom was here, and Sebastian and my friends could never survive there. Whether I liked it or not, Sanmorte was my new home. Adrenaline puckered my skin into goosebumps.
“Azia is teaching me how to control my magic.” I paused, choosing my next words carefully. “You are still my mom, and I will always love you. The whole reason I came to the castle was to find you, and I would do it all over again if I had to. I know you’ve lost and risked a lot, but that’s no excuse for making me feel like shit about my decisions. I won’t be made to feel like some naive girl who knows nothing anymore. You’re not the only one who has changed through all of this.
“I know I still have a lot to learn, and sometimes I make mistakes. I’m not stupid, I know everyone sees me as overly emotional. You always did. But I don’t care anymore. I’m embracing that part of me, and you know why? Because I care—deeply—and that is a strength, not a weakness. When I rule Sanmorte, I will devote myself to helping others.” I pointed at the portrait of my father hanging next to their bed. “That is what he is meant to be doing. Kings and queens should never have a crown if they only do it for power. That is how kingdoms fall, and empires fade. It is why the gods gave me true immortality. They wanted me to keep the mortal parts of myself. Vaneria dove into my head.” I placed my hand on my chest. “She saw my heart and knew what I could do. That is all that matters.”
“That crown,” she said, pointing at the same portrait, “will kill you. You have inherited all your father’s enemies, along with your own. You are my only child, and I will never be okay with you putting yourself in harm’s way.”
“I can protect myself.”
She huffed. “I know you don’t want me telling you anything, but you don’t know this world like I do. The gods may be on your side, but they are not here. This is Sargon’s world and he will never give up his throne. Not even to you. So whatever you’re thinking of doing, don’t.”
I chewed the inside of my lip, refusing to meet her stare. “I’m not going to do anything,” I said, but kept the ‘yet,’silent.
“Olivia…”
“What?” I bit out. “Let me make my own decisions.”
“At least let me in.” She said, folding her hands. “If you insist on taking on a role you do not need to, then let me help.”
I mulled it over, but anger cloaked reason for now. “I need to go. The King of Asland is leaving, which means they’ll start burning the mortals soon. I won’t let him be treated like some nobody, thrown onto a fire.”
“We will say goodbye,” she agreed. “In a way he deserves.”
My heart plummeted as a sinking feeling ran into my stomach. “Yes.” I blinked several times, refusing the tears to come. I was afraid if I started crying, I’d never stop. “I’ll meet you downstairs in an hour.”
I lingered by the door, and she grabbed my arm before I could leave. “Be careful with Sebastian. I know you say you love him, but he’s been involved in some dark things.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “I have spies who work solely for me. They told me he was seen walking down to the dungeons. They say Hamza and two guards were found dead. He deserved what he got, but if you knew how they found his body, even you’d see. Only a psychopath could tear someone apart like that.”
My heart pounded. “I know what he’s done. Erianna already told me.”
Her forehead wrinkled. “And you are okay with that?”
“I melted Hamza before he was arrested, and I did the same to Kalon. Honestly, I would have done the same thing if given the chance.” I realized I hadn’t even spoken to him about it.
Swallowing my regret, I opened the door. Casting my eyes back over my shoulder, I seethed as she rolled her eyes. She would never take me seriously, so I closed the door.
Rounding the corners, sweeping past flickering candles, I searched for Sebastian.
Everything was crystal clear as I ran. I could see every slice of light in each glass vase on the tables pushed against the walls, on the fibers in the paint of the portraits hanging. The dust particles swirling in the air, caught under the hue of lamps.
Astor came into view, and I stopped before I slammed into him.
“Liv!” he called before I could speed away. “Wait.”
“Careful!” I scorned.
He didn’t bow. “YourHighness.”
“I am not in the mood to deal with you right now,” I warned.
“Thanks for telling Gwen about our kiss.”
I shrugged. “Just a little payback. Also, it was your kiss. I didn’t kiss you back.”
He clicked his tongue, shooting a glare from me to the ceiling, then back. “I tried to save you, and you’re such a bitch to me. I never mentioned who you were to any of them when they kidnapped your mom. Do you know how much shit I got in when they found out who you were?”
“Don’t care,” I said, tight-lipped, and stepped around him. “Also,” I added before leaving, “Gwen has no reason to be angry with you. She sucked Sebastian’s dick right before he was supposed to be executed.”
