AllFreeNovel
Share Us
My panting was embarrassingly loud. Calax didn’t take his lips away from my skin, however, as I struggled to control my erratic breathing. They merely traveled to my neck to kiss a line to my collarbone. He alternated between nips, sucks, and a soothing flick of his tongue.
Yes. More. More.
His hand reached forward, almost hesitantly, and hovered over my breast. I pushed myself into his waiting hand, giving him permission.
I had been touched there before, but never like that. Never reverently.
His hand cupped my breasts through my shirt, and I groaned, eagerly gripping his face to bring his lips back to mine.
It was then that I realized something that should’ve been bluntly obvious. I felt too much for him.
I felt too deeply.
For my entire life, I was told how dangerous it was to have feelings and to have those feelings reciprocated.My mind flashed to Ducky.
I couldn’t lose another person I cared about.
So I pulled away from him, still breathing heavily, and ran towards my car.
As I was driving home, tears dripping from my eyes, I decided that if I were to feel any emotion towards Calax, it would be hate. Hate was easier to deal with, easier to understand.
And I emptied myself of that damning emotion. It was safer that way.
* * *
I staredat my face in the mirror in Sam’s bathroom.
Makeup cluttered the countertop, courtesy of Sam and Lilly. I eyed the foundation with distaste.
To be honest, I wasn’t overly familiar with makeup or anything remotely connected to “prettying myself up”.
But I could do it. That blush? I would make it my bitch.
Pinching my cheeks, I applied the bare minimum to my face, excluding any and all eye makeup. I didn’t feel comfortable using any of the girls’.
Once I was satisfied that I looked semi-presentable, I walked back into the conjoining bedroom. Sam and Lilly were lying on the bed, talking, but they both looked up when I entered.
“Well...” Sam trailed off, tilting her head to the side as she eyed my half-hearted attempt at makeup.
“It could be worse,” Lilly finished.
I snorted but didn’t respond.
I had never been on a date before. Never had been asked, though I’m not sure I would’ve said yes to anyone besides Calax.
I appreciated his attempt to divert my attention from Nik. It would do me no good to wallow in self-pity, especially when I wasn’t physically capable of leaving the house to search for him at that moment. The storm still ravaging the petite house was brutal.
And another part of me felt giddy at the thought of going on a date. With Calax.
Or with any of the boys, if I was being completely honest with myself.
“You’re probably too tall to fit into my clothes,” Sam was saying. She turned towards Lilly. “Do you still have that cute black dress from last year? That would probably fit her.”
“Wait. Wait. Wait. Hold up. A dress?”
I had worn dresses, of course, but I much preferred the pajama combination I had on now, courtesy of Elena. Comfort over beauty or however that saying goes.
“You’re going on a date,” Sam said, rolling her eyes in what appeared to be exasperation. “You have to dress like it.”
