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Groaning, I pulled at my dark hair. The physical pain somehow diminished my mental one. More. I needed more.
I took another step towards the large structure, knowing that I was both literally and figuratively walking to my death.
A hand clamped down on my shoulder, making me stagger back. Stunned, I turned to meet Sarge’s burning eyes.
The car headlights switched on, illuminating his face.
“I knew I would find you here,” he signed. I watched his hands move in rapt fascination.
“How?”
Nobody knew about this place. Nobody. I had made sure that this - he - had remained a secret. It was my burden to shoulder alone. I couldn’t discern if it was embarrassment or shame. After all, what type of person wanted to claim relation to an abusive, murderous asshole? Would they think we were one and the same, cut from the same tree or however that saying went?
“Did you believe I wouldn’t do my research on the team?” was his simple answer.
I scoffed.
Of course he would. He was Sarge.
Two figures in the car captured my attention. Tommy I recognized straight away, but he was talking animatedly to an unfamiliar boy wearing thick, red headphones around his neck.
Nikolai.
He had the same bone structure and hair shade as Addie.
I turned back towards Sarge.
“You found him? He’s alright?”
His face softened as he nodded.
“He is. And I heard from Addie.”
At those words, my body tensed. I scarcely believed it. Addie was dying. I had seen the life drain from her eyes, had held her cold, icy hand in my own. Was he saying…?
“She’s okay. Addie is okay.” He took a step closer. “And she wants us to come home.”
Addie was okay.
A weight from my chest was lifted at those words. It was as if I could finally breathe again, finally live.
Helplessly, I glanced once more at the prison. Sarge tapped my shoulder, redirecting my attention back to him. His eyes were very near pleading, something I was unfamiliar seeing on the apathetic team leader.
“She needs you. The team needs you. I know what you’re thinking. I know that you want to get revenge on your father, but we both know that walking up there is a death sentence. Addie is waiting, and she loves you. Don’t break her heart like this.”
Tears blurred my vision.
Loved? She loved me?
Surely, Sarge was mistaken. She loved Calax and maybe even Ryder. Not me.
Never me.
It was a fantasy I used to have, though I never believed we would be the traditional couple. I had too many demons, too many jagged edges. She, on the other hand, was a bright fucking light. But I would be the first to admit that if she was the sun, I was her shadow, following her to the end of the world like a diligent pup. Sometimes, when the darkness is too much for people to handle, they crave the light. It was a selfish mentality but undeniably true. I needed her because she was the light to my tarnished darkness.
I had been horrible to her when we had reconnected. It became clear that we were worst to the people we loved because we knew they would never leave us. But god, she had come so close. More than once. With her, it felt like I could fall and always have someone at the bottom catching me.
“When have I ever lied to you?” Sarge snapped, easily reading the indecision and disbelief on my face.
