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“Later?” I asked in disbelief. Instinctively, I opened my legs. “Why not right now? Why not right this damn moment? In the vagina.” Pouting, I spread my legs even further, feeling oddly like a kickass gymnast.
Damn. I don’t know how much longer I can hold this position.
Asher coughed to cover his laugh.
And I just spoke out loud. Again.
Another laugh, this one from Ronan.
And again.
“Ryder and Ronan,” Fallon instructed, ignoring my outburst. At this point, he was used to my random ramblings. “Go to the medical wing. Ask for prenatal vitamins. We’re getting low.”
The brothers nodded seriously, the lust dissipating from their eyes. With a kiss on both of my cheeks, they hurried out the door. Fallon then turned towards Asher.
“I’m going to meet with Derrick. Discuss trading. He seems like a good guy - if a little oblivious to when a woman is already taken - and he would be a good ally to have. Stay with her.”
Grabbing the back of my neck, Fallon pulled me into a bruising kiss. His tongue just barely touched mine before he pulled away. I made a sound of protest which he purposefully ignored. Without another word, he strode out the door, slamming it shut behind him.
“Alone at last,” Asher teased, joining me on the bed and lying back, holding his arms open.
Contentment surrounded me like a warm blanket, and I burrowed myself inside of it. Smiling, I cuddled against Asher’s strong chest, and he wrapped his arms around me from behind, holding me closer to him. He planted tantalizingly soft kisses on the skin behind my ear.
Being with Asher was like coming home after trekking through an atrocious snowstorm. The wind howling, the snow assaulting my face, the water seeping through my pants. Once I entered the house, warmth emanated from a lit fire and the smell of baked cookies wafted from the oven, the smell orgasm-inducing. Home. Asher felt like home.
“How are you feeling?” he asked softly. He pushed up my shirt, resting his hands on my bare stomach.
“Horny. Pregnant. The usual.” I shrugged nonchalantly, but my stomach was a tumultuous mixture of excitement and apprehension.
“You're worried,” Asher stated. It was never a question with him. He knew me better than I knew myself at times, able to read me like an open book.
Sighing heavily, I grabbed one of his hands and began to play with his fingers. The monotonous gesture distracted me, if only for a moment, as I got my thoughts together.
“Are we doing the right thing?” I whispered. His fingers were long and thin, white scars adorning them like rings. “Bringing a baby into this fucked up world?”
Asher remained silent, stroking my stomach and allowing me to confess all my deep-rooted fears.
“Would I even be a good mother?” I continued. “My own parents were shit, and the last thing I want...well...I don’t want to be like them. I want to love my baby the way I never was. I want…” I trailed off, tears surging in my eyes and distorting my vision.
“Are you done now?” Asher asked, not unkindly. He removed his hand from my stomach to stroke my hair. I nuzzled my face into his neck, breathing in the distinct scent of his cologne he had used in the car. Citrus, maybe, mixed with engine grease and gasoline. It wasn’t a smell I would usually associate with my sweet husband, but it was becoming more and more common from all the cars we stole and gas we siphoned.
“I just don’t know if the universe picked the right person to mother this baby,” I confided.
Asher was silent for a moment, his fingers massaging my scalp. When he finally spoke, his soft voice broke through the silence like the slash of a whip.
“There’s a lot we don’t know, a lot we don’t understand. This world...it’s big and terrifying. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, so we have to focus on today. Can I be honest with you?” He didn’t wait for me to respond, though he knew my answer would be yes. Always. “I’m scared too. I think we’re all scared. We’re bringing this vulnerable being into a fucked up world, and I’m terrified. Of a lot of things.
“What if something goes wrong during childbirth? What if we lose you?” His voice broke, and his hands tightened imperceptibly around me. “And then we have to think about this baby we’re bringing into the world, this baby we’re destined to love and care for.Ourbaby. Addie, my love, you’re not alone in this. This baby has seven fathers who would die for it. I have no doubt in my mind that you will be an amazing mother. Adelaide, you are the epitome of love. Love and compassion and everything good and bright in the world. I love you so fucking much.”
Tears blurred my vision. Somehow, in a matter of seconds, Asher was able to pacify months of insecurities and despondency. He took the weight I’d been carrying and shouldered it selflessly.
“I love you,” I whispered, arching my neck. My lips crashed to his, a clash of tongues and teeth. It wasn’t gentle, but it wasn’t rough. It just...was. Pure, undiluted feeling.
Asher spun me so that my back was against the mattress and he was leaning over me. His eyes were fixed on me as his tongue mingled with mine. His arousal pressed against my stomach as his lips moved to my neck, kissing from my jaw to my collarbone and then to my breasts, still covered by the red sleepshirt.
Without preamble, he pulled the shirt over my head, baring my bra-clad breasts to him. The old me might’ve shielded myself, felt self-conscious and keenly aware of all the scars and bruises. The largest one was on the center of my stomach from a gunshot wound.
But there was no pity or disgust in Asher’s eyes. Only love so intense that my hips bucked beneath him. He did not hesitate to remove my bra, dropping it to the ground beside us.
