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Chapter Five
Alyson
I’m surprised when I wake up and find Max’s side of the bed empty and the sheets cold. He’d gone out after work and hadn’t gotten home until long after I’d already headed up to bed. But even so, I’d woken up when he slipped into bed beside me and he’d given me a toothpaste flavored goodnight kiss.
I glance at the clock, and it’s not even 8:30 yet. Definitely way before Max is normally up on a Saturday morning. I’m struck with a sudden panic, wondering if maybe I’d dreamt him coming to bed with me and he hadn’t come home after all.
I scramble out of bed and hurry over to the window, looking out at the driveway, and let out a little sigh of relief when I see his truck parked right where it should be. I head downstairs and I can already smell freshly brewed coffee and breakfast being made.
Max doesn’t do much in the way of cooking, but he sometimes likes to fix me breakfast on special occasions, and pancakes aren’t outside the range of his skills. I think for a moment, wondering if I’ve forgotten some kind of special day.
It’s not either of our birthdays, our anniversary, or anything else that I can think of. So slowly, I step into the kitchen, where my fiancé carefully stares at a pancake, armed with a spatula in hand. “Morning, sweetheart,” I greet him, “You’re up early.”
He glances up, and I frown. There are dark circles under his eyes, and it looks like he didn’t sleep at all. But despite his tired face, he smiles at me. “Morning, my love.”
“You ok?” I ask him, “You look exhausted, maybe you should go back to bed.”
He shakes his head. “I just had some stuff on my mind, couldn’t sleep.”
“What kind of stuff?” I ask, sitting down at the table and watching him.
He’s silent for a moment, focused on flipping the pancake on the skillet in front of him. “Aly, would you still want to be with me even if we couldn’t have a family?” he asks finally.
“What? What do you mean?” I ask, confused.
“If it turned out that we couldn’t have a big family like we’ve always talked about…would you still want to be with me?”
My heart sinks. “Are you telling me you’ve changed your minds about having kids or something?” I ask him.
The thought is more than enough to put a twinge in my chest. I’ve always wanted kids, and I thought Max was on board, too.
He turns to me and quickly shakes his head. “No, no, nothing like that,” he assures me quickly, “It’s just that I went to the doctor yesterday, and after a lot of medical mumbo-jumbo, shitty sperm count, low motility, blah blah, long story short, I found out I may never be able to give you a baby.”
The news hits hard, but at the same time, brings with it a little bit of relief. “Sweetheart, you know I love you as a person and not just as some sperm factory, right?” I tell him.
He cracks a small smile and I rise up from the table, moving over to put my arms around him. “Max, baby, I love you, that’s not gonna change. And if we really want to have a family together, we’ll find a way. We can adopt, maybe, or hire a surrogate or something…”
“Forrest offered to be a sperm donor for us,” he says quietly.
My whole body stiffens. “Wait…Forrest knows about this? How does Forrest know about this?”
He nods. “I went to talk to him over drinks last night.”
I slowly take a step back, my brow furrowing. “So you told your ex-boyfriend about this before you told me?” I ask.
“It wasn’t like that, Aly, I just went to Forrest to vent to a friend,” he protests, but I back up further.
“This is kind of a big thing, Max, and it’s one thing for you to take some time to process before talking to me about it, but I don’t think I’m totally comfortable with you taking something like that to someone else, especially Forrest.”
“I thought you liked him.”
“Yeah, Max, we’re all friends now, but that’s not the point. Just because I like him doesn’t mean you don’t have a history together, and you telling him something that big and intimate before you’d share it with me-”
“It’s not like I was trying to hide this from you,” he counters.
“But you did,” I tell him, “You made the appointment and went to it without telling me, then rather than sharing the results with me, you ran to your ex to tell him!”
I don’t even realize I’ve raised my voice until the end, and I’m shocked when it clicks. I don’t know why I’m so upset; I’m not a jealous person and never have been. But for some reason, I’m suddenly bothered by the idea of Max and Forrest sharing something like this without me.
