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Chapter 13
I’m making amistake.”
“No, you’re going to befine.”
“Nope. I’m most definitely making a mistake. I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t even be considering this. I meanme? Withfourguys? It’s just notpossible.”
“Well technically, it’s five guys if what you told me about Grayson and you determines anything more,” Lizzie pointedout.
Yes, I had told her. Was I regretting it? Not yet. But I had a sick churning feeling in my gut. I could feel the sweat sliding down my spine. Was it normally so hot in South Carolina? Probably. Maybe. I had been a little more preoccupied with other things than the state’s weather report, though, so who would really know? A weatherman probably. But not me. Definitely notme.
“You’re freaking out,” Lizziesaid.
DUH! State the obvious much?Jesus, I needed to chill out. I paced one way across the front of Chipley Hall, turned, and paced back. “Of course I’m freaking out,” I said. “Wouldn’t yoube?”
“Well, I wouldn’t be nearly sleeping with five guys, soooooo…” Lizzie quirked an eyebrow and pointedly trailedoff.
“I haven’t even slept with any of them,” Imuttered.
“Which is severely confusing to my Marvin-Gaye-get-it-on brain,” Lizzie replied. “You need to getlaid.”
I rolled my eyes and pacedaway.
“Okay look,” she said hopping down off the patio railing. “Maybe you just need to sit down and talk with all ofthem.”
“Oh yeah, that’ll go great,” I snapped. “Marv will only be at Grayson’s throat the minute I tell everyone what happened. Knix will still expect me to choose. Texas might be hurt and Bellamy…Bellamy will…” Fuck, I didn’t know. I had no clue what Bellamy would do. I stopped and pushed the heels of my palms to my eyes. I was out of my mind to think this could ever have worked. This was it, I was out of Iris. I had found my people, my group, and I was out all over something stupid. I should’ve juststopped.
I squeezed my eyes closed and pressed harder, as though I could erase all of my stupid actions. “I should never have kissed any of them back,” I mutteredaloud.
“But you can’t change the fact that you did,” Lizzie pointedout.
“Well, if you’re going to use logic,” I said, “maybe you could use it to help me out of thissituation.”
Lizzie grimaced. “If I could, I would.” My phone buzzed in my pocket. I froze. Lizzie sighed and moved towards me, putting her hand slowly in my pocket to retrieve it. “It’s not going to bite you,” she said, holding it out tome.
“It’s them,” I replied with a grimace, staring at the phone, waiting for it to turn into a snake and bite me on the ass in some weird twisted kind of karma revengeplot.
She continued to hold the phone out to me, quirking a brow. “You have to talk to them sometime,Harlow.”
I knew that. We weren’t at Lander to explore ourselves and have fun and learn new things like Lizzie. We were here for Erika and we still had a job to do. The phone buzzed again, and I groaned, snatching it from her hand. Gulping down a nervous breath, I swiped the green button and put the phone to myear.
“Hello?” I said as Lizzie leaned back against one of the railings. I stared at where the white rails met the red brick of thecolumn.
"Why do you sound out of breath?" Bellamyasked.
"Um, pacing?" I replied, the answer sounding more like a question as my gaze flicked to Lizzie's face. She smacked her forehead dramatically and scrubbed a hand down herface.
"Pacing?" Bellamy repeated. "Are youokay?"
"Yes?" I winced at the squeak in myvoice.
"You don't sound okay. Where are you? What happened?" The worry in his tone just made me feel evenworse.
"It's fine, I'm fine," I said quickly. "I'm sure you called for areason."
"Uh, yeah. We need you to skip your classes and meet at the house," hesaid.
"Yep. Sure. Can and will do. No problem. I can be there soon." Lizzie's eyes widened, and her eyebrows shot up. I ended the call before he could say anythingmore.
