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“We’re notanycloser to finding outwhereshe is, are we?” My voice croaked, stopping and cracking at the end. I was desperate. I felt like we were declining—not only the guys and me, but this mission too. This was more than just finding a thief or derailing a revenge plot. This was about Erika—my best friend. The girl who had held my hand when I quit gymnastics and had still remained my best friend throughout high school even though I could never do the things she wanted to do—couldn’t go out shopping, to the movies, or have regular sleepovers. I couldn’t even afford to go to prom, but she hadn’t cared. She’d been my friend no matter how old my clothes were or how much I slept in class or…I couldn’t leave her tothis.
“Well, not exactly,” Texas said. “Alex’s police contact knows that there is an informant on the inside that they’ve been working with—a mole that got made ages ago. He’s only double crossing to save his own skin for immunity or something when they finally do manage to get this intocourt.”
“They haven’t managed to get anything he gave them to stick so far,” Grayson snapped, turning away from the window to glare at Texas. “Don’t give her falsehope.”
“The informant could help us,” Texas argued, brown eyesnarrowing.
Shaking his head, Grayson stepped up to the middle of the living room where Texas stood to meet him. They remained motionless for several moments, eyes crackling with energy before Grayson huffed out a breath and shoved a hand through the short strands of his hair. “Maybe I should just pay the damn debt and we get Erika back. Leave the rest to solve itself,” Grayson snarled as if he didn’t particularly care for that idea and scrubbed the hand on top of his head down hisface.
“No,” Marv said, folding his arms over his chest, “we’re not doingthat.”
Grayson turned to him. “No? Well, then do you have a better plan? The girl’s in danger, isn’t she? Shouldn’t we fucking do something about it? What about if we pay off the debt and use that asevidence?”
“Would it hold up in a court of law?” I asked, turning to Bellamy who shrugged and nodded back to Marv who was already shaking hishead.
“There’s no telling if they’d get any repercussions except for having to pay for an attorney. They can probably bribe their way out of anything but ironclad evidence. Even if Grayson pays Josh’s debt, it’s still our word against theirs. Plus, Josh might end up on the stand right along withthem.”
“At this point, that’s fine by me,” Grayson said. “Let him rot in jail. He did this tohimself.”
“Grayson…” I bit my lip and shuffled across the floor towards him. He turned away. “Wait!” I held my hands up and all eyes turned to me again. “What if we send someone in—like Bellamy and Knix, but someone new. Someone that might be able to gain some insight into the illegal parts of their business? Wouldn’t they have drug dealers at the bottom of their totempole?”
“We are not sending you,” they all said at once. Bellamy and Marv and Texas all grimaced or frowned while Grayson continued toscowl.
“Well, we have to dosomething,” I snapped, folding my arms over mychest.
“We will do something.” The new voice made my back straighten, shivers dance up my spine, and my palms sweat all in the same instance. Knix stood in the apex of the hallway, looking over the living room, his jaw turning until his eyes caught mine and he paused, taking me in. I swallowed as he shifted his gaze to the side, continuing. I still felt the weight of the look he had given me on my shoulders. "For now, though, we need to bepatient."
"What did Alex say?" Marvasked.
Knix sighed and shook his head, rubbing a large hand through his hair. Though I was frustrated by the non-answer, I noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the droop of his shoulders. Even exhausted, he filled the hallway to almost capacity, but he was definitely not at full speed. I unfolded my arms and moved across the room towards him, reaching out to gently touch hisarm.
"Okay," I said, shocking not just myself, but the others aswell.
"Harlow?" Bellamy's voice was close at my back. I didn't turn around but met Knix's curiousgaze.
"We need to regroup," I said, firmly. Knix frowned as I finally pivoted my head back to the rest of the room. I took in the rest of them. Grayson's silent stare. Marv's own dropped brows. Texas' frown. Bellamy's slow movements as he shuffled back. "We're all exhausted, especially you guys. How much sleep have y'all been getting?" Iasked.
They looked at each other, but it was Texas that answered. "We takeshifts."
I nodded. "And I can bet that you don't always get to sleep when it's your turn for one reason oranother."
Marv, Texas, and Bellamy looked down. Although Grayson met my gaze head-on, I knew for sure he wasn't sleeping. He was too busy running off in the middle of the night, convincing me to break into rehab facilities that dealt drugs to their patients. I noddedonce.
"Alright then, we take a night. Get some sleep. That's not a request." They all seemed pretty shocked by my new tone, but I had decided to put our relationship issues to the side for now. We could deal with all that after we worked this job. I would make sure Erika was safe—probably chastise her and lock her away from boys for the rest of her life like an overprotective father—and then I would approach the guys. This thing between us couldn't go on the way that it was. I mean, sure, right now they said I didn’t have to choose, but anyone would expect a decision sooner or later, right? What kind of personwouldn’tchoose? No one was crazy enough to start a relationship with more than one man and keep it. That kind of relationship wasn’t built to last. It wasn't fair to them and to be honest, it wasn't fair to me. I cared about all of them—yes, even Grayson. Despite his rough exterior and his hard edges and smartass tendencies, there was a vulnerability beneath that called to me. There was a lonely man under his facade. One that I wanted to wrap my arms around and protect. I couldn't very well do anything about that now, though. I had to find Erika first and fix our problems one byone.
"Harlow's right," Knix said, sounding infinitely more tired now that I had pointed it out. He turned his big, blue eyes, sharp and deep as the ocean, on me. "We'll take some downtime and then go hard. You’ve got class tomorrow. Do you want me to walk you back to thedorms?"
I bit my lip. I glanced beyond him to the clock hanging on the wall. Class—although educational—was now just a cover. I wasn't here to become a college student. I was here to play a college student. Normal, when I was anything but now. Still, if I was going to keep up appearances, I probably shouldn’t show up looking like death warmed over. "Yeah," I finally decided, "thanks, I'd appreciatethat."
Knix nodded and began shuffling me across the room towards the door. "No thanks necessary, LittleBit."
* * *
By the time I finally got back to Chipley Hall, I was just as exhausted as the guys. I felt like I was held together by really crappy glue and scotch tape. Maybe Lizzie could tell because as soon as I walked in the door and face-planted on my bed, she quietly moved over to my side of the room and gingerly sat on the edge of my bed to stroke my hair back from myface.
I faced her. "That bad?" sheasked.
I closed my eyes. "It's complicated," Isaid.
She continued stroking her fingers through my hair and I let her. It felt good. It reminded me of when I was a little girl and Erika and I would play hairdresser. She'd braid my hair and twist it in pretty ways, then I'd put diamond stickers in her hair since I couldn't do much more than brush it. I wasn't even good at braiding. I missed her so much, and I wished I could ask for her thoughts on the guys. I wasn't so sure about asking her for advice after everything that had happened, but I definitely knew I needed to get my best friend back. Lizzie was sweet and nice, but she was noErika.
Yeah, to some people, Erika probably seemed flighty and irrational. But she had always had my back against bullies. She was over-passionate, and she fell in love way too easily. She was a mess of a person, but a well-meaning mess of a person. She wasmymess. Cold tears leaked through my closed eyelids. Lizzie must have noticed because she left and when she came back, I felt the softness of a tissue pressed into my hand. Lizzie was sweet. She probably thought I was crying over the guys—the truth was, I was crying over much more than them. I was crying because sometimes life was just toomuch.
Grayson was obviously shutting down. Maybe it was about his brother, maybe not. But it reminded me of my relationship, or lack thereof, with my brother. Michael hadn't called me in weeks. I hadn't talked to my mom either. The guys wanted me to choose, Erika was in danger, and I felt like a crushing weight was sitting on myshoulders.
Logically, I knew it wasn't all on me. I wasn't responsible for everyone in my life. But things would be so much easier if I could have just one person to blame or one person to go to. Lizzie continued to stroke my hair, murmuring soft words of reassurance. I turned and curled into her, my head on herlap.
"It'll all work out, Harlow," she assured me. Even though she had no clue what was going on, I sincerely hoped so. I hoped like hell that it did. Because if it didn't work out—if all the issues I was faced with didn't resolve themselves—I didn't know what I would do. I didn't know what wouldhappen.
