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“Do you think you can get up, or do you need some more time? I’ll help you either way.”
“I’ll try.” I probably still need his help, and though I hate relying on him, knowing that he at least will help gives me comfort.
He unswaddles me from the blanket, and I push myself up to sit, which makes me realize I’m still completely naked. My first thought is to cover up, but that would be useless. He’s already seen all of me… been inside me. The blanket falls away, and a shiver runs up my spine.
“I ordered you some new clothes. They were delivered earlier.” He points at a box sitting on top of his dresser, and I swing my legs off the mattress. Eager to get to my clothes, I get up from the bed, but my legs are still too weak and give out as soon as I put my weight on them.
I brace for the pain when I inevitably hit the floor, but it never comes. Instead, a strong arm wraps around me, keeping me in place.
“Don’t worry, I won’t let you fall.” His rough baritone in my ear calms down my erratic heartbeat. I hate that he has this effect on me. I hate that I lean into him, seeking comfort from the man who caused me to be this helpless in the first place.
He climbs off the bed while never letting me go. Supporting most of my weight, he walks me to the dresser so I can look into the box. As we move, I notice two things. One, he is wearing boxers. Two, he must have cleaned me up because there is nothing sticky or uncomfortable between my legs. I almost thank him for that, but then I remember how fucking ridiculous that would be. He doesn't deserve a thank you for that small sliver of kindness.
When we get to the box, I half expected to find skimpy dresses and high heels, but to my delight, I found comfortable-looking skinny jeans and soft, loose-fitting sweaters. Even the underwear he got is the same kind I would get, sexy but comfortable.
“How did you know what kind of stuff to get?” I ask while picking out an outfit.
“I went to your place, remember? I checked out your closet while I was there,” he admits unapologetically.
“Right.”That’s not creepy at all.I would probably say that out loud if I wasn’t so thankful for the clothes he got me.
Since I’m still so wobbly on my legs, he makes me sit down on the end of the mattress and helps me get dressed.
“What is it about the girl being passed out that turns you on?” I’m probably going to regret asking, but a part of me needs to know more, needs to make sense of this.
“I don’t know. Why?”
“I’m just trying to understand you.”
He finishes putting my underwear and socks on without a word. I step into the pair of jeans, and I’m convinced he’s not going to answer me when he finally does. “I guess a part of it is her being helpless, unable to say anything. I’m in complete control. But then there is that other part, which might be even more appealing… there is no judgment. I can be who I am without pretending, without wondering what you might think of me.”
“Oh…” I’m taken aback by the honesty in his voice. I feel like he just told me a secret he’s never told anyone before. The question is, is that a secret I’m going to cherish, or is it really a nightmare I have to wake up from?
