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“How could I ever be alone when I have such an amazing friend like you?”
“See, we have each other. I’m here, and we’re stuck together. Two frozen peas in a pod.”
“Frozen is right.”
Brittney glances at her watch. “Ugh, I hate cutting this short, but I need to get back to the library. Lucas has been on my case about encouraging students to come to the library, so I’ve been putting more effort into hanging flyers and creating study groups for students.”
“I can come help if you want.”
She shakes her head. “No, enjoy your break. Relax. I will come and hang out soon.”
Brittney leaves, and suddenly, I feel colder. Like I’ll never warm up. I grab a sweater and pull it on, shivering.
If only this place had more windows. I’m reminded of the sunroom then and shove off my bed, walking to the door. I shouldn’t have a problem with the space being crowded, not with everyone gone. I take the elevator up to the sunroom.
As soon as I step into the space, I’m engulfed with warmth. It’s like being hugged by your grandma or mom. I walk toward a sitting bench and spot Anja sitting on a nearby bench.
Neither of us says anything as our gazes collide.Awkward.I sit on the bench and ignore the nagging thoughts at the back of my mind. The more I wonder why my mom ignores me and refuses to acknowledge my existence, the angrier I’m going to get, and there’s nothing I can do here to expel that anger.
A few minutes pass, and just as I’m getting comfortable with the silence around us, Anja clears her throat and gets up from the bench. I watch her out of the corner of my eye. She walks toward me, her boot-covered feet slapping against the concrete.
Stopping in front of me, I can feel her eyes on me. I swallow, my saliva thick. I pretend like she’s not standing there and continue staring straight ahead, enjoying the warmth of the sun.
Her voice slices through me. “I guess this is how you always feel, right?” I don’t reply right away, and she takes my silence for conversation and takes the empty seat beside me.Great.
“What do you mean?” I finally say.
“Alone?”
I shrug. “I was alone before I showed up here.”
Anja stares out into the nothingness. It doesn’t matter that she’s being friendly and striking up a conversation with me. I don’t trust her, not at all. Still, part of me feels bad for her, the same part of me that wishes I was home with my parents.
I finally give in and ask the question weighing on my mind.
“Why didn’t you go home?”
She turns to look at me, her gaze darkened with anger. “My mother didn’t want me to come home. She told me to stay here and that she didn’t want to see me.”
I frown, feeling the venom in her words. She’s angry, and I don’t blame her. For once, I can’t believe that we actually have something in common.
“I know the feeling,” I murmur.
Another minute passes, and I decide to head back to my room. I push off the bench and walk toward the elevator.
My fingers graze the button for the elevator when Anja asks, “Does it get easier? The loneliness. Does it become easier to deal with, or will it always feel like someone has punched a hole in my chest?”
Her words mirror mine, but I don’t think she really knows how I feel. How badly I’ve been tormented by her and her friends.
By Quinton and his friends. They’ve made my life a complete nightmare in every single way. Yet, there is a strength behind still standing here, standing against all the bad, even when the need to break was profound. A reply sits on the edge of my tongue, but I don’t speak the words I want to say. The door to the elevator opens, and I step inside, turning to face her. Our gazes collide, and I don’t really see her, I see through her. Anja might, for the first time in her life, be feeling a sliver of the pain I’ve endured, but we’re not the same.
