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“Dammit, Pax. I’m meant to be a war hero. What kind of alpha doesn’t go to their mate who might be in danger?”
“But we must wait. That is what you would counsel if our roles were reversed. We must rest—“
I went after him, snarling and falling into a Rage. His reflexes were faster than I realised because he caught my fist in one of his large hands.
“No,” he barked. He’d never looked so fierce than in that moment. “Pull yourself together, Soldier. None of us are in a state to go after her. There is a groom with her. We must trust that he will take care of her.”
“I’m just…” His hand crushed my fist, but that growling purr caught the beast and settled it. “Pax… Being a mate. Being her mate will be the death of me. It near killed me once. I can’t survive that grief again. Put me down like a rabid dog before I do more damage, hey?”
I couldn’t tell if I meant it for a joke, but in that moment, it felt too real. Run off and only just out of her heat? When her alphas could not protect her? If we lost her, I would have lost the mate I loved twice over. None could live through that. Coward that I was, I didn’t want to die, but more horrible was the prospect of living without her.
“She is fearsome. With a gun and in a rage as I am sure she will be. Even so, she is delicate,” he sighed, granting me the assurance I wasn’t the only one going mad with worry. His grip switched, grabbing my wrist and tugging me close, his hand going about the back of my neck, pulling me close until our foreheads touched.
“She shot you,” I reminded him, this time trying to make a joke.
“I’m going to kill her when I next get my hands on her.”
I moved my forehead to his shoulder and huffed a laugh. The same thought had been in my head.
“Benedict…”
“We shall rest first. They’ll come for us when she returns. Or we leave for Wales.” He was right. There was no reasonable expectation to hear or know anything today. Pax was too tired, near dead on his feet, and I did not trust myself to drive the horses.
We should have gone to her nest, but the thought of being there without her had us crawling into my bed, resting, not sleeping, touching, not talking.
