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I interrupted his defense with a wild laugh. “I am so gods-damned tired of everyone telling me what I do and do not understand. I know three perfectly sound truths, Az. Would you like to know what they are?”
He huffed a breath in reply, crossing his arms as he submitted to my outburst.
“One,” I held up a single finger, “you are an asshole. An incredibly beautiful asshole who has good intentions but fails to consider anything I might be thinking or want.”
His brows rose slightly on his face, but he remained quiet.
“Two!” I swung my arm leisurely as my middle finger joined my pointer. “I’m pretty sure I’m the gods-forsaken huntress, and I still have barely any idea what that means. But now Adzehate has only confirmed your suspicions, and I know for certain she wouldn’t try this hard for my soul if it weren’t worth a great deal to her. If the gods blessed me with the power to destroy her, then I don’t need permission from you or anyone else to do so.
“Three.” I approached him now, letting my steps cross the wet sand as my ring finger joined the rest pointing toward the sky. “I can do this. I can fight her pull on me and resist her power. It might be true the leylines make her spirit strong, but I am stronger. For once, I believe in myself, and you can either stand by my side or get out of the way. Because I am doing this, Azriel.”
As I loomed closer to the brooding male, he slumped his shoulders in an exasperating surrender. I reached out to untangle the arms wrapped stubbornly tight around his chest. He resisted, so I let my voice soothe the tension in his body like he had done many times for me. “Az, please hear me out.”
He let a long breath loose, one he had been holding back behind crossed arms and a harsh scowl. “Speak,” he said.
“When I was under her control, I knew nothing of the world outside my stone prison, and I was helpless to her influence. Every day, I woke up desiring to please her so she would choose me, because she was all I knew. But then I met you.”
“Oh?” he said as his interest piqued. His arms finally relaxing at his side, allowing me to step even closer.
“Aye, and you saved my life in more ways than one. You showed me a world I loved more than myself, a love stronger than the shame of my past. Now, I wake up and I choose me, and my desires are no longer a slave to her approval or anyone else’s.” My hands slipped along his forearms to let my fingers play against the inside of his palms. “You set me free. You gave me a choice, Az, and there’s no power on this earth I would trade this freedom for.”
A corner of his mouth curled in gratification, only to waver a moment later. “I’m sorry I reacted the way I did. I’ve seen her take the souls of mortals and leave nothing but their shell behind. I thought you were gone forever, and it terrified me on a level I’m not used to feeling. I thought she finally pulled you down and you’d given in, but my anger was misplaced and, for that, I apologize.”
A forgiving silence stretched between us. I nudged him playfully against his bicep, teasing and coy to lift the heavy mood between us. “You know, for someone who’s scared to kiss me, you nearly killed me.”
“I’m not scared to kiss you—I’m scared of losing you.” His mouth hung there for a breath, hesitating from the slip of his words. He corrected himself with a harsh sound to clear his throat. “Losing you to Adzehate, I mean. It was horrific to see you lying there, soulless and empty.”
“I’m sorry you saw that, but I assure you my soul is very much intact,” I said, dusting the sand off his shirt.
“Thank the gods,” he replied. He embraced me abruptly in a tight hug, squeezing the air from my lungs in the best way possible.
“You’re still an ass.” I gasped, my feet floating above the sand.
“But an incredibly beautiful one,” he muttered in my ear.
“Aye, that too.”
We continued to travel east along the coast. The usual breeze shifted into a violent gust, disturbing the normally calm waves and rousing them into violent swells. The water was black against the pale sand as it lapped at the coast from the wind, which forced a salty spray through the gaps of my leathers. I smoothed stray hairs helplessly back into my braid, but the gust tore relentlessly at my ashy locks, freeing them from their binding and tossing my hair in a wild mess.
Azriel stayed far to my left, his eyes constantly surveying the tree line as we both listened for an approaching enemy above the sounds of the waves. He tucked his wings in high and tight against his back, shielding them from the moisture. He stole occasional glances at my limping gait, my ankle still sore from the previous day as I hobbled across the sand. I was obviously freezing from the thin tunic under my leather and the piercing wind pulling me forcefully in every direction. But no matter how cold I was or how miserable the weather made me feel, I needed my space. I forgave him for trying to protect me, I even forgave him for scaring the blight out of me during his outburst, but I was still hurt by his actions. If we were going to retrieve those stones, we both needed to set aside our personal feelings and prioritize our mission.
This was bigger, more important than the infatuation between us. Clearly, there was something there that neither of us had intended to find in the other, but the graze of our lips meant nothing. There was still a world to save, a cursed queen to stop, and an eternal night to end. If I had to keep my heart leashed in the process to see those goals come to pass, so be it.
I repeated the conviction to myself, my head’s way of trying to convince my heart. But my heart was even more stubborn than my head, and it would take a great deal of reminding myself to persuade what I otherwise believed was a strong fascination for the man who walked beside me.
“Arya!” He called out above the roar of the wind, snapping me out of my thoughts. “Look.” I followed his finger, now pointing to a dark contour in the distance. The outline of something long and V-shaped peaked along the horizon. Mindful of my swollen ankle, my stride quickened into a slow jog at the delight of a new discovery.
Boats.
A dozen abandoned boats littered the shoreline as we approached. The warmly stained, golden finish was weathered from time and salt but they were otherwise intact. I motioned to Azriel, requiring his strength to lift a small vessel and turn it over onto its hull.
He followed my command, pushing the small boat with ease onto its side, then to its underbelly. I grasped the edge and peered into the dinghy, finding nothing but damp sand stuck to the inside from a hundred years of abandonment.
“You think it will float?” I shouted above the crash of tide against shore.
He nodded, a little reluctantly, and passed a hand over the dulled resin. “Aye, this is Valdihr Oak, the most durable wood in the realm. Neither time nor weather has the power to wear through its varnish.”
“Good. Then let’s get this thing in the water.”
