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Chapter 8
“Your stepmother hired pirates from lands afar,” Teeny added. “To kidnap shifters, strong young males and females, and send them to a military camp, where they’re trained to fight.”
Sea God!Was that where Shadow, his family, and his workers had been taken? Guilt crackled inside me.
Grimm patted Teeny on the shoulder. “We believe she’s amassing an army, possibly to fight the sea king if he comes to reclaim his lands.”
These words reeled in my mind. “King Neptune doesn’t know about this?”
“The roads to the oceans are closely guarded,” Grimm replied. “It’s hard to get a messenger to the sea.”
Flipping hell.The sea king must know about this. His merarmy was powerful enough to fight that witch and her guards. The triton he wielded possessed powers given from the sea god himself. Against a force like King Neptune’s, my stepmother wouldn’t stand a chance.
Words stuck to the roof of my mouth. Witnessing others like me—their wounds, their pained, stony faces, all of them in need—brought back all my memories of the suffering I’d gone through. I bumped into one of the dwarves as I backed away. My head spun, and I shut my eyes, struggling to stay upright. Lungs locked tight, I couldn’t get a breath, and I scratched at my throat, gulping for air…all signs of another impending panic attack.
“I have to get out of here,” I said, brushing past the dwarves to flee the room.
Outside in the corridor, I leaned against the wall to steady myself from the dizziness rocking me.
“Oh, dear,” Mama Jo said, hugging me again in her vice-like grip. “Look at you! You’re deathly pale. Come and have a nice, hot chocolate with Mama Jo.”
At first, I struggled in her grasp, but then, emotionally drained from all the horror I’d witnessed back in the infirmary and wanting a slice of comfort, I let her lead me to the dining hall. Pressure squeezed my temples, and I rubbed them, trying to think. I had to get a hold of my emotions before I died of a panic attack one day. My death would only give that witch the satisfaction of uncontested power in Tritonia—a horrifying prospect I refused to consider. To calm myself down, I counted on my fingers until my symptoms subsided.
Moments later, my hands were wrapped around a hot mug, and I restlessly bounced my knee under the table.
The dwarves, clever devils, had known the effect the infirmary and all those patients and refugees would have on me. Hundreds suffered because of my stepmother, and they knew I could not excuse her actions or let her continue unchecked. But what did they expect me to do about it all?
“What do you want of me?” I asked Mama Jo.
She stared at me with an expression that reeked of desperation.
“To rally everyone to your cause,” she replied, picking at the slice of cake on her plate. “To be the face of the resistance.”
It felt like a bomb had exploded in my mind, scrambling all my thoughts: my anger at my stepmother’s never-ending cruelty, my guilt at leaving Shadow and the shifters behind, and my fear of that witch succeeding with her wicked plans.
“I’m no face of anything,” I said.
Mama Jo grabbed my hand, as if she anticipated I’d stand and leave.
Smart woman; I sure contemplated doing exactly that. The dwarf’s constant grabbing of me both bothered and soothed me.
“After what you’ve been through, dear,” Mama Jo said, “I don’t blame you. And Grimm, he’ll respect your decision if you decline. It’s a lot to ask from you.”
I hunched my shoulders and bowed my head. I didn’t want this responsibility. It was too much. What if I failed them all? Doubts and questions swirled in a vicious cycle in my mind. I needed time to process everything. Think of a clear strategy forward. I swallowed a mouthful of the hot drink, but it tasted like dirt.
“When he lost his mother”—Mama Jo smiled sadly—“I almost celebrated. No more nitpicking my cooking and untidy house. Silly old bat.” For a few moments, she ruminated on her memories. “But Grimm, he took three months off work and went fishing. We all experience grief in different ways.”
Every night, I cried for my father…even now, nine moon cycles later. I didn’t know that I’d ever forgive myself for not stopping my stepmother.
“Go on, dear.” Mama Jo gestured for me to leave and think on it. “Take as long as you like.”
My throat clogged with my thanks and appreciation. I downed the liquid to warm what felt like an icy knot of grief in my chest. But we didn’t have time for me to think on this much longer. Every day, my stepmother was out there, probably kidnapping more shifters, building her army, expanding her territory, making people homeless and hopeless. A great threat loomed over Haven. I had to make a decision and fast. The pressure of it all weighed heavily on my mind.
This was all my fault, for being such a fool, one who’d so desperately wanted her father to be happy, to fall in love, to have a devoted wife so I, too, could have the mother I’d never had. And in my foolishness, I’d let a monster into our household. I’d welcomed that bitch, and she’d repaid my kindness by poisoning my father, and I hadn’t realized the betrayal until it had been too late. Worst of all, I’d ignored my instincts when they’d tried to warn me there was something not quite right about that witch the very first day we met. Who would want such a stupid person as the face of their resistance?
No. No more. The new Snow was no fool. She wouldn’t let anyone hurt her or harm the people she loved…never again. But I was no leader. Not in the space my mind was in right now.
On the way out, I ran into Teeny and Grimm, who were waiting for me by the dining hall door.Sea God!Their determined, hopeful faces told me of their mission to convince me.
