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Oh, I know. The vulnerable, sexually deprived side of me has me saying ridiculous things.
“If you want, cherry lips, I can show you later how much bigger it can get if you thinkthisis big.”
I refuse to give in to him and don’t respond. Out here, I carry the upper hand by being immune to the Shadow Monsters, and that is my strength. Now, if we could just run into some undead, all would be dandy again.
Everyone has their own path in life, and mine is to be alone in the woods. I’m not afraid of the dark or the virus. What scares me the most is other people.
Getting too close.
Then losing them.
That heartbreak is worse than death.
After losing everything once, I vowed to never go to war with my heart again.
The far-off memory of my mama faded, and I let it dance away. Now, I keep walking and wait for the right moment to make my own move.
“You smell different,” he says out of the blue, and when I glance his way, his eyes focus on me.
“Every wolf has a unique scent,” I correct him.
“But yours is more than a wolf smell, Meira.”
I pause and raise my chin to him. Something in the pit of my stomach hardens. “What are you saying?”
“That when I inhale the air around you, my wolf goes crazy to claim you, but he also whimpers at the sickness you carry.”
My cheeks burn. “I already know. It’s my wolf who refuses to come out. But thanks for reminding me how obviously different I am.”
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
He falls behind as I march ahead. But then he’s suddenly at my side and snatches my wrist.
“Have you never wondered why you’re feeling sick and throwing up blood? Dušan told me how sick you were back at our compound. But no shifter has that kind of illness, even when a wolf hasn’t shown itself yet.”
“Yeah, so? What do you want me to say? I don’t know why I’m fucked up.”
“Oh, baby girl.” He clasps the sides of my face, but I’ve had enough of everything, and I shove my hands against his chest.
“Just stop.”
“No. I won’t until you properly understand.”
“What the heck are you talking about?” I’m yelling now, my body trembling. “Don’t talk in circles. Tell me what you know.”
His expression grows stoic. “Dušan ordered tests of your blood while you were at the compound, and we think we know why you’re sick and why the undead don’t touch you. It may also be why your wolf won’t come out.”
My stomach drops right through me. “What did the test show?” My voice comes out lighter than intended, and I hate that there’s fear behind my words.
Except a chorus of moans rising from up ahead of us distracts me.
I jerk my attention to a gang of at least twenty Shadow Monsters rushing toward us. We’re out in the open, talking too loudly, drawing their attention.
Bardhyl draws me by the hand in the opposite direction, but my mind screams at me to pull away from him and run toward the undead. This my chance to get rid of this Alpha. To be on my own and hightail it out of the Shadowlands once and for all.
But I can’t get his words out of my head. He knows what’s wrong with me. Since losing Mama, I’ve wanted to understand why I’m different. What if Dušan’s discovery can provide me with a cure to my wolf being stuck inside me?
I choke on the hope curling in my chest.
