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But I shake away the urge, needing to understand.
“Did I change? It felt like maybe I did?”
No one responds at first, and when I meet Dušan’s gaze, he shakes his head. “You’re a goddess, Meira. The energy your body expelled sent unimaginable strength into our bodies. Your wolf lingered just below the surface. I felt her, called to her. But she never came.”
I don’t know how to feel. Sorrowful. Disappointed. Scared. Numbness crawls through me as I attempt to piece it all together, chasing away the other emotions.
“The moon,” I state and I quickly shuffle from the bed, pushing past the guys, the blanket sliding down from around my body. Naked, I hurry to the window and push aside the heavy curtain to stare outside. The first threads of sunlight spear upward from the horizon, staining the sky in oranges and reds. Shadows claim the woodland in the distance.
I scan the heavens for the moon.
“Did you hear something?” Dušan whispers behind me, the heat from his body spreading over me.
“It’s only half a moon,” I say. “It was so weird. One moment we are all together in the bed, then a strange power swept over me like my wolf would come out. I swore she would, and I sensed the moon calling to me. What went wrong?”
His large hands fall to my hips and he draws me away from the window, the curtain falling back in place. He turns me to face him. “A wolf’s power comes from the moon, but it doesn’t have to be full to affect us. Legends says the first wolf was born during a hunters’ moon. A pack of normal wolves savagely attacked a human. She barely clung on to life after the brutal assault. But the only way to save her was with the blessing from the moon. Her energies blended with that of the wolves from saliva and blood that had seeped into her body. On the next full moon, she changed for the first time into what we are today. She is the first of our kind. Stories say she bore children to nine different men and they all spread out across the world to populate the land.”
I blink at him. “Is that a true story?”
He shrugs. “It’s an origin myth, but while the details are sketchy, we do grow stronger on full moons and become more animalistic. Any wounds we have heal instantly on those nights. But our transformations aren’t influenced by the moon’s phases.”
“Then why didn’t my change work?” I breathe the words that are barely a whisper, and my throat thickens, feeling like I’m always fighting to barely keep my head about the waves. Nothing I do gives me a fucking break.
Dušan slides a hand to the side of my face, drawing me closer. “We are so close, gorgeous. Tomorrow we will all bond again, building the energy between us. And we’ll do it again and again until she comes out. Together your wolf will emerge safely with our guidance.”
Doubt dances around in my mind as I recall the sharp pain that has sliced through me when I thought she was coming out. Something held her back. “What if—”
“No,” Dušan insists. “I could practically touch her. In the next week, you are transforming.”
His confidence is heartwarming, and I desperately want to believe he’s right. I sweep my focus to Lucien and Bardhyl, who stand by the bed, looking at us, expecting something I can’t give. Right now, I’ve let them down, yet Dušan has so much hope in his eyes that I remain quiet.
His slow, circular movements on my back ease the worry for now. “Come. We’ll all get dressed and leave. We’ll arrive home soon, and everything will be good once more.”
Either he’s convinced himself that I’m already saved, or he’s doing an amazing job of sounding like he carries no doubts.
My heart thunders in my ears while coldness drops through me. But I don’t voice my fears. Instead, I respond with a forced smile.
On the inside, my thoughts chant, Please let my wolf come. Let her not kill me in the process.
Dušan
The midday sun blares down on us. We’ve been walking for half a day. We come across no rogue wolves or packs, and the few undead we encountered were too far to catch up to us.
“When we get back, I vote for us all having a group bath in our pool,” Lucien suggests, his gaze all for Meira.
She’s beautiful, captivating, and scared as hell. She smiles cheerfully, but it’s all pretend. I see it in the tightness around her mouth, in how I smell her perspiring more than I should at our walking pace. Her chest rises and falls like the rush of the rampant river.
“Agreed, so it shall be,” Bardhyl replies. “Meira, I will teach you to duck swim, even if you don’t know how to swim, this will help.”
Meira cuts him a confused look and her light laugh is genuine. She truly adores the men, and they bring out a playful side in her, which I love.
“I’m not picturing this duck swim,” she answers. “Don’t they just float on top of the water and kick their legs underneath?”
“Lucien taught it to me once.”
Lucien chuckles, slapping a hand to Bardhyl’s back. “It’s not a fucking duck. I told you that before, man. It’s called butterfly breast-stroking and one of the most difficult to learn and master.“
Bardhyl scoffs, but he claims he can do anything before he’s tried it.
