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I stare at the blood splattered on the dried leaves. This is a recent thing—spewing up blood. I wipe my mouth, my hand shaking as fear slides into my thoughts.
My wolf refuses to come out. I’m broken. But as much as I run away from the safety of the pack and know that wolf could rip out of me at any time, which will kill me if my Alphas aren’t near, I don’t want to die.
I live at the end of the world and tell myself every day that death could come any moment now, but when I face it head on, feeling it clawing inside me, my bravery fades.
Tears blur my vision and I hiccup a strangled cry, the throb curling around my heart. All I can think about are my Alphas and how crawling into their arms would ease the ache. My emotions don’t even make sense, yet I sit in the middle of a darkening forest on my own and wonder if I’ve made the right decision.
I cry in my hands because I didn’t run away for me. I did it to protect them from me. No matter what I tell myself, that’s the fucking truth. I am a danger to them, but on the inside, I’m dying to be with my wolves.
My chin trembles as tears slide down my cheeks.
I’m tired of the constant fear and stress, wishing I could have been born a normal Omega. I remember the female wolf I met on my first day in the Ash Wolves compound, and her words about mates stick to my mind.
“You’re gaining a life partner so you won’t be alone anymore. Don’t you want that?”
I arrogantly saidno, that I wanted freedom instead. But now that I can’t have Dušan or Lucien, my chest cracks with heartache.
The woods are all I’ve ever known, yet I’ve let myself experience something I can never have. And going back is impossible. I abandoned them during the attack because it was my only chance to put distance between us, to keep them safe.
The wind shrills around me as I quietly cry. The mistake is mine… I never should have let myself fall for the wolves, because now I don’t know how to get them out of my heart and soul.
