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I can’t heal these wounds with a tennis bracelet and a trip to France. That may have worked with the women I dated in the past, but they don't work with Aly. Those kinds of things never did. All she cared about was me and how I made her feel.
That’s all I ever needed from her.
I stare down at the plans in front of me. I’m starting to get all this marriage nonsense people keep talking about. I look at Derek and all the time and love he puts into a project that isn’t even his. How he’s loved it and taken it as a part of his life despite it being someone else’s dream. He doesn’t try to fix everything for Marianne, he doesn’t try to handle it all himself just so she doesn’t have to worry. He helps, but Marianne is the one who holds the reins. She’s the guiding force behind all of this, while he follows along with whatever support she needs.
They’re a team.
“Look.” Derek sets down his pen and runs a hand beneath his nose. “There’s actually something I’ve wanted to talk to you about.”
The tension eases in my chest.
We aren’t talking about me. That much is certain. Is this the mysterious issue Derek has been dealing with for some time? Is he finally ready to confide in me? “What is it?”
Derek twists at the hip, removing a few sheets of paper from one of the file folders on his desk and handing it to me. A birth certificate with Miles’s name. A copy of his social security card. And an adoption form.
I flip back to the first two documents. Both list Miles as a Beaucoudray, an official member of Marianne and Derek’s household.
“You adopted Miles?”
“Yea.” Derek’s hand covers part of his mouth. He’s holding back a smile and what looks like the glisten of tears. Hell,I’mdamn near crying at this recent revelation. “It’s finally official. We’re going to have a party to celebrate next week with family and friends. You’re welcome to come, of course. Aly, too.”
I stare at the papers in my hand, still slightly in shock.
Miles. A permanent fixture in the family.
I’ve grown so attached to the kid myself. They’ve taken kids in for years, but no one has ever stuck out to them like this. They deserve this happiness. They deserve a child like Miles who loves them unreservedly. As if he always knew he belonged with them.
“I’m really happy for you guys,” I say, handing back the papers. “Miles has really grown into this family. He’s become a part of you both.”
“Ah.” Derek takes one last loving look at the papers before filing them away again. “He was always one of us. Now we just have a few pieces of paper to prove it. I don’t have to worry about them taking him away from us and placing him somewhere else. I don’t have to worry about what’s going to happen to that kid when he turns eighteen and exits out of the system. He’s all ours. Our responsibility. It’s all up to us now.”
“If anyone deserves this happiness, it’s you guys.”
Derek’s hand cups my shoulder. “Wealldeserve that kind of happiness.”
Fine. I give in. I want what Derek has. I want the small cottage house with one guest bedroom and a loving wife who both terrifies and amazes me. I want a family, something to call my own, that no one can ever truly take away from me.
I want that life.
With Aly.
* * *
I spent a day preparing everything I needed to meet Aly. Lyndsey finally agreed to give me Aly’s address and even gave me the best time to reach them at home. Apparently, her mother had a few consultations with psychiatrists this week to assess what the next steps should be in improving her current health, so they would be in and out of the doctor’s offices all afternoon. Meanwhile, it gave me plenty of time to pick up my special items and rehearse my apology a thousand times.
My phone rings.
Thankfully, my father hasn’t called me at all today. This time, it’s my mother. A ploy to get me to answer perhaps, but I could never deny her phone call. I answer.
“Hi, sweetheart. Where are you?” my mother asks.
“I’m out. What’s going on?”
“Nothing too outlandish,” she says, part of me not believing her. “I just left your father and wanted to get the information about that apartment you offered. I took Paolo with me on a mini-vacation to Napa for a few days to ease the tension, but we will be back on Monday.”
I couldn’t have heard her right. There had to have been some static in the phone cutting out. Did she say she just left my father?
“Mom, what are you saying?”
