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Or so I thought. But I was completely lost when it came to this ordeal Vanessa had roped me into.
“So...we’re done here?” I asked uneasily.
Lyndsey’s golden brown eyes lifted up to meet mine.
That same mix of confusion and something I could not discern lingered between us. “Yes. Well, not really. I’ll just...the agency will check in on the two of you every week until you’ve made a clear commitment to one another. Since it’s not like a typical dating service, you don’t have an innumerable amount of time to decide whether you’re compatible or not. So, we usually give you both about thirty days to make your decision toward final steps.”
“Thirty days?” I couldn’t have heard that right. “To propose marriage?”
Her brows knitted into a V in the center of her forehead. “That is what you signed up for.”
“My sister signed me up for this,” I corrected. Because there was no way in hell I’d have missed a stipulation like that. Thirty days to decide on a lifetime. Were they insane?
Lyndsey huffed and leaned forward. “You didn’t want any of the mystery in dating. The system varies in that you don’t have to question whether you both want the same things or not. It isn’t like a normal date, where you ask each other basic questions on the first date. You’ve probably already talked about what kind of marriage you want or how many kids you want to have, right?”
I didn’t answer. She read the cues clearly in my face and only nodded her understanding. Of course, Crystal and I had discussed our plans for the future already. We both wanted to get married and start a family. The exact number of kids was open for debate.
Maybe it wasn’t the sort of thing you opened up with on a regular date. It was the sort of thing serious couples discussed.
So, fine. We’d already skipped about six months into a relationship. But there was no telling how we would fare under stress-induced situations or how compatible we were once living together. Would we grow sick of each other after a few months? What if I never felt that cosmic spark with Crystal?
The way I had with Lyndsey.
“The next few weeks are about how you fit into each other’s lives,” Lyndsey continued, discussing my future as easily as investing in a new home. “Things like, do you feel that spark, that connection? Can you see yourself together in the next few years?”
“Few years? You mean the rest of my life?” There was no sugar-coating it. We were talking about starting a family, building a life. This wasn’t something I could grow out of in a few years and easily exchange for something else. Whether Crystal and I decided we didn’t suit one another after one year or four, there would be repercussions neither of us would be able to avoid. “You’re expecting me to make a monumental decision based off a few weeks.”
Lyndsey shrugged. Every inch of her body language suggested this was no more than a simple transaction, something to be taken lightly. Every part except her eyes. Those bore the weight of a thousand questions, ones poised at me, to herself, and to the company she supported. When they landed on me, no matter how briefly, they harbored something akin to pity.
She couldn’t believe any of this. Lyndsey Saunders, who valued her freedom above all else. How could she sell people this trite version of “happy ever after” knowing they were taking the gamble of a lifetime?
“Think of this like an intensive course in life lessons,” she said. “You both are on the same path, but you need to know if your methods for getting there are the same. Does she do things that annoy you that you either can or can’t overlook? Is she too messy or too rigid in her routines? Are you both compatible in…”
She stopped, blushing clear down to her roots. Now that was something I thought I’d never see. Lyndsey, actually embarrassed discussing the intimate details of dating. I ignored the images induced by her obvious train of thoughts. Thinking about Lyndsey, naked beneath me, was no way to stomach this idea of marriage to someone else.
“...other areas,” she said. “It’s all just about a mock-up life right now.”
“So, we’re basically taking a test drive at the whole marriage thing.”
“Essentially.”
“This can’t be what your grandparents had in mind when they started this thing.” I wasn’t sure why I said it. Only that I regretted it the moment it fled past my lips. I had no right invoking her memories of her grandparents to suit my needs. But she had to see how far all of this was from the vision her grandparents likely had for their business.
This was cold, lifeless—all business. Her grandparents loved with all their hearts, desperately, passionately.
They lived a great love story, or so she’d said. Would this really have been the life they’d wanted for others?
However imprudent the comment, it jolted Lyndsey out of the cold facade she’d cloaked around herself. Her chest heaved upward on a sigh, as if recalling the love from ages ago. Her gaze softened over mine, overflowing with secret messages of hope and love she wanted no man to ever hear. Deep down, she was just like the rest of us. A hopeless romantic.
Even if she didn’t want to admit it.
“It was a different time back then,” she said softly.
“No,” I whispered. “I’m not buying that.”
“This is what you need to do.” She tapped her hands against the table, reasserting the procedures with a force both in her words and actions. Was she now trying to convince herself? “If you don’t want to waste everyone’s time, then it needs to be thirty days. If you decide in, say, a year from now that you and Crystal aren’t compatible, you’ve not only wasted her time and opportunities to meet someone else, but yours as well.”
“Yes, because making life-changing decisions on a schedule is completely rational.”
