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“I want to make it clear that this is a highly experimental procedure,” I continued. “It would be very taxing on your body, and if you survive the transplant, you’ll have a long road to recovery.”
Jasmine’s lips twitched.
“I thought you said you’d try and stop me going under the knife,” she said weakly.
“I did try, Jas, but your heart just isn’t strong enough anymore. We have to do something.”
Kayla cleared her throat. She was scared, her lips almost disappearing with how thin they were. Her arms were crossed, and everything in her exhausted face said she wasn’t sure about this plan.
“We have no other choice?” she asked.
“I haven’t been able to find one. Boston Children’s doesn’t want to be associated with Jasmine’s case, and no one else seemed to think saving her was possible—well, no one else except one doctor in Seattle.” I stopped and thought for a moment. “And me, of course.”
“You think there’s a good chance this could work?”
“I think that if it does work, Jasmine will have the kind of quality of life she hasn’t had since she was three years old. She’ll be able to go home with you; she might even, with some time, be able to go back to school.”
Despite her frail body, Jasmine’s eyes lit up. She looked excited, and her mother sighed.
“I just...I need to try and contact her father; is that okay?”
“Of course, but Kayla, I’ll need an answer by this afternoon—we need to get her in straight away.”
Kayla nodded and I decided to give her some time with her daughter. I knew that this would put a lot of pressure on their small family and that Jasmine’s father being in the Middle East didn’t help.
I herded my interns out of the room and stared them all down.
“You three understand that if Kayla agrees to this, Jasmine will be the youngest recipient of a Total Artificial Heart ever?”
They all nodded, two of them eagerly, and one of them nervously.
“I need you three to be on form today. If Kayla consents, I want Jasmine in the OR tonight. On top of your other patients, I need you to be checking her vitals and keeping her comfortable. Jasmine likes to pretend she’s not in pain, but it is vital that we know exactly what is happening at each stage. I’m going to call Dr. Ito in Seattle and see if he has any last minute advice. Smith and Lehaney, just make yourselves useful today. If I find either of you slacking, you’ll be off my service. Christophers, can I have a word?”
Smith and Lehaney muttered their acquiescence and disappeared without another word. I needed them to just keep all our other stable patients healthy while I prepared for one of the biggest operations of my lifetime.
“Yes, Dr. Price?”
I turned to face her, and all I wanted was to find comfort in those hands again. I rarely admitted when things were hard for me and never let my colleagues see it, not even Jonah. I couldn’t though. This would be the worst time to let anyone in on my vulnerabilities and the worst time to compromise our working relationship.
“You’ve worked hard” I began, “and you will be in the OR if and when Kayla agrees to the surgery. Are you prepared for that?”
Stevie bit her lip, and I wished I could stop her from doing that, wished I could kiss away the lines of worry that formed on her brow.
“Yes, doctor,” she said eventually.
The answer was decisive enough to reassure me, but she seemed concerned enough that I knew she would take it seriously. Still, I wanted to do something, anything to put her at ease, so I glanced around, made sure no one could see us, and pulled her into a swift hug. It took a moment, but I heard her gasp and felt her melt against me.
Just as she really leaned into the embrace, I had to end it, concerned we would be caught. Her cheeks were flushed when I pulled back, and her face filled with an unreadable emotion. She opened her mouth, presumably to say something, but I couldn’t hear it, and wouldn't hear any of the protests she usually had to our friendship.
I walked away toward my office and refused to turn around. I refused to acknowledge what I had done.
Chapter Nine
Stevie
Where he’d held me burned.
I could feel it pressing through my scrubs and tattooing itself over my organs, like a protective layer that could hold me secure through my first surgery. The day passed in a blur, and I spent it running from the ER where patients were being admitted up to the cardiac ward to check on Jasmine.
