AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“As long as I live, I will never do anything to hurt you.” My heart was swelling in my chest, and I was worried if I didn’t say what I wanted to say so desperately, it would become a medical concern. “I will never pick fights and never leave you again. I don’t just need you by my side for the rest of my life, Stevie, Iwantyou there. I want to share everything with you, and I want you to marry me.”
I almost couldn’t believe I’d said it.
“Did you just propose to me?” she asked quietly, and I nodded into her hair.
She laughed but it didn’t sound condescending. It sounded loving and I could only hope she would say yes.
“You will hurt me,” she countered, and although her voice was watery, it had the same sparky quality I had loved from the first time I met her.
My heart stopped at what was sounding like a rejection. “But it won't be anything big. It will be the small arguments—where to eat, who left the toilet paper holder empty, who’s going to drive us down to Connecticut to visit my mom, but that’s okay. I know it’s also okay if I tell you that I can’t marry you, not yet, not until I’ve at least made Fellow somewhere. It’s not a “no”. It’s me asking you for more patience than I deserve. I know that I can ask that of you, though, because you’ll never hurt me in a way that will break us. Nothing can break us if you just hold me close.”
I was starting to think that maybe, just maybe, we were starting to understand the depths of our love for each other. I could wait. A ring on her finger and a piece of paper could wait, as long as she was in my arms and letting me hold her like I was. As long as my heart beat irregularly, even if I would have diagnosed it as negative in anyone else.
I squeezed her tighter to me, and she let her head drift onto my shoulder.
“Like this?” I asked, wondering if I could be any happier than I was in that moment.
“Exactly like this,” she whispered.
Epilogue: Stevie
Jack was waiting for me outside.
His face was anxious, and he was twitching his thumb nervously against his pant leg. In the last five years, he had become more than my best friend; he had become another brother to me, and I had become godmother to his and Jennifer’s beautiful baby girl, Anastasia. When she was born, Adrian had looked at me with such love and expectation, I couldn’t help but wonder when we’d have our own little ones running around the small house we shared. I was true to my word, though, and I wasn’t committing to any life-altering events before I was offered fellowship, even if Adrian grumbled about his fortieth birthday being only months away.
Jack had everything I was working towards, a wife that he adored and adored him back, a daughter, and a fellowship in his dream area (orthopedic hand reconstruction). My own dreams were also quickly being realized.
“I got it!” I grinned, almost dancing as I left the room.
Jack’s face relaxed into a grin that was almost as big as my own, and he pulled me into a huge hug.
“I’m so happy for you, Ste!” he exclaimed, squeezing me tightly.
“Me too!” I crowed.
I hugged him back, and we did a kind of happy dance in the hallway, right there in front of the meeting room. When all the doctors filed out who had made the decision, we tried to maintain some semblance of composure, thanking them for their time and smiling politely, but the moment we were alone again, we began jumping.
It took awhile for us to calm down, both just elated that we had received our dream fellowships, even though Jack made jokes about how I was working with robots more than people—My fellowship was in total artificial hearts in pediatric transplant cases.
“Okay, I’ve got to make some phone calls,” I said, breathing a little better once we calmed down. “Are you and Jen free for dinner? I figured we could go out to celebrate.”
Jack shook his head.
“Sorry, no can do. Jen’s parents are in town, and we’re having dinner with them.”
I nodded understandingly. “Then see you tomorrow, man; go home to your wife and kid!”
He laughed and hugged me before leaving, and I pulled out my phone. My mother was understandably excited and would have screamed with joy if it weren’t so unlike her to do so. She told me my brothers would be visiting later in the week, touring through New Hampshire on their way to Connecticut from UVM (University of Vermont). I told her I was excited to see them and said goodbye.
When I called Jasmine, shedidscream. I’d used her case as a huge part of my application, and the girl, now thirteen, had kept in contact with me for every part of the process. She’d had a real heart put in when she was eleven and hadn’t suffered any symptoms of rejection since—most of her doctors suspected it was largely due to how healthy she was going into the transplant surgery, all thanks to the artificial heart.
Kayla also told me she was glad for me, and I hung up, happy with how well everything was going.
When I called Adrian, my heart was in my mouth.
“Hey, babe,” he answered. “How’d it go?”
“I got it,” I whispered into the phone. “Adrian, I fucking got it.”
